To think work don't have a clue?

[Rosebel]

Once again forced to take time off work because my son has been in contact with a Covid case at nursery.
Well aware the rules are changing for schools and really hope it's the same for nurseries.
I can't WFH and nor can my husband. I'm so pissed off with work who seem to think I should have back up childcare in place, even though I literally have no family to help and the fact my son is meant to be isolating so shouldn't be mixing anyway.
I try to work as much as I can (roughly 4 hours before DH has to leave for work) and we split leave fairly evenly so it's not always me who's off.
But I still get nagged and bitched at by work as to why I have to take time off (even though they know he's only 1).
Maybe I'm being unreasonable but I have a suspicion that my manager and team leaders (all male) don't have a fucking clue because they don't deal with the kids when they are sick. They expect their partner to do it and then seem to expect the same from their team members partners.
I'm actually on the verge of quitting because I'm sick to death of works attitude.
I'm trying my absolute best but if nursery says he has to isolate I have to look after him 50%of the time because that's what being partners in parenting is about.
Does everyone else get this at work? AIBU to mentally tell them to fuck off when they are giving me a hard time?

[quote GreenLakes]@drspouse

Employees are expected to find a childcare solution that is suitable for both them and the company to cover isolation periods.[/quote]
I'm honestly astounded that any company would request an employee to break the law.

Work are not allowed to penalise you for any covid related absence, ignore the grief and just say well what else do expect me to do? All the posters saying it's your responsibility to arrange back up childcare, have you been living under rock?? If any of you are managers I bet you are the type to tell your staff they have to find someone else to have their children. The whole point of the kids isolating is just that, they can't go to nursery or anyone's else's house!

It is not always possible to have a backup. DC get sick in nursery. Parents live distant to other family so the backup is the DPs juggling work, as OP does. In our case, DD was in and out over the first couple of years of nursery (from 5 months until 4.75 years, but much better the last 2-3 years). So DH and I did pretty much the same as OP - we'd check diaries about who was more impacted immediately and the better one would take DD home that day along with work materials.

For however long she was off (usually at least 2 days, often 3-4 days), we'd juggle diaries and meetings, one would go in extra early (6am if DH as he could unlock his building, 7am if me as I depended on others opening), swop at lunch and the other would do a long afternoon (to 7/8pm). We would both do some catching up in the evening. And there would usually be a few extra hours done over the weekend or the following week to catchup if needed.

But we literally had no other options. And this was before WFH was a more normal thing - DH was able to be relatively flexible but had meetings he had to attend in person, whereas I was much more constrained in what my boss would allow and we didn't have laptops etc (I was lucky to have a work phone as I did a lot of travelling) - I used to email docs to my gmail so I could work on them on my personal laptop at home, and print a lot off to read/comment in writing and type up the comments once back at the desk.

Sometimes one person was swamped and the other needed to take annual leave, especially if DD was particularly unwell or clingy. But we did our absolute utmost to share it relatively fairly and to keep both our jobs done in terms of meeting deadlines and attending where we were needed.

I would be saying to the boss that I'd be more than happy to send my child to his SAH(wife) to look after & come to work, as long as work were happy to pay the fine for illegally sending my potentially contagious child to another household for childcare?

Or I could bring child to work and potentially spread a virus there, again with work paying the fine, since there isn't another option.
Which one would he prefer?

This pandemic really has shown some people have no idea what life is like for others. As per a great phrase I heard last year, 'We might all be in the same storm, but our boats are completely different'

@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.

[quote GreenLakes]@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.[/quote]
The childcare solutions available are: adults who live with the child. The end.

[quote GreenLakes]@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.[/quote]
What if it's the employee that needs to isolate?

[quote GreenLakes]@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.[/quote]
Do you accept @GreenLakes that it is against the law for anyone to look after the OP’s isolating child other than OP or her partner?

Can't believe some are saying the quit to look after the child or that you should have a 100% back up childcare. In normal times I have a couple if possible backups but they also work and are not available all the time at the drop of a hat.
Work need to be understanding to a certain extent. So long as you don't take the piss I don't see a big issue.
One of my team got stuck in another country earlier this year, it wasn't a holiday but was away for 2 months rather than just a month. Not ideal but worked out and we didnt want her to quit as she is a value member of the team and it was a one off.

[quote GreenLakes]@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.[/quote]
So you accept that you are actually asking the impossible? You can't give an answer because you know the only option is to isolate with your child or break the rules (and then the employer can pay the fine).
If you really thought there was a solution you'd have said it by now.

Do not leave. Dig your heels in.
The early years are awful for sickness.

Gosh OP. I am staggered by some of the people here who think there should be other solutions. I wish the government would step up and fine employers for being so daft. It is the actual law. What else can parents do!!!

Some of the attitudes on here really are shocking.

My boss is similar actually, not just towards parents having to care for their isolating child but also staff who are meant to be isolating themselves. It's one of the reasons I'm keeping my eye on new jobs.

[quote GreenLakes]@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.[/quote]
Well done, you have successfully channelled the spirit of a Tory MP.

And once again for the those at the back - what is the legal childcare solution that suits the company when the employee is the only person legally allowed to do it? And they are already splitting it 50/50 with the other parent?

This is a bit depressing to read.
Can't believe anyone can support the employers here!
The whole country has had to make sacrifices- this company being one of them.
Isolating is an unplanned for occurrence- not your fault at all.
This is just one reason why women are so affected by COVID.
Hope it's all ok soon.

So angry on this thread at the amount of people who are siding with your bosses and expecting you to break the law just to make sure that you don't take time off that is a. No fault of your own and b. You're entitled to!

Employers like that lose out eventually. If someone is taking the piss or not trying to find a solution when one is available (eg their child is sick and the other parent is available but they want to look after the child themselves) or there is a recurring issue that's going to be long term (eg years of hospital appointments that only a parent can attend) then that's different.

But companies need to recognise when employees are putting in the effort and when things are outside their control. Telling you you're letting customers down etc isnt going to magic up a solution, the only thing its going to do is make you feel like shit.

Companies that dont actively try and manage a decent work life balance and recognise that people are human first and sometimes need a bit of flexibility and understanding, will eventually lose out as employees who are not as 'engaged' are less loyal, have lower productivity, more time off sick, higher staff turnover etc.

As this post has proved, them not being flexible is likely ultimately to lead to them losing a good employee. If they had shown a bit of support then yes you might have had a few days off more than normal in the pandemic. But a. That can happen to anyone at any time, even someone who never gets a cold can break a leg and be off for weeks etc b. Careers are long and people have more time off when their kids are little but that's such a short time of your career and if employers are flexible then employees are more loyal and give more back. It sounds like all they're going to do by moaning at you is lose a decent employee

[quote GreenLakes]@moynomore

It’s not for employers to dictate to staff which childcare solutions to use.. As I say, we simply require that it works for both parties.

And fundamentally, we need staff to be in work.[/quote]
Can you actually hear yourself?
I'm a manager. I actually give a toss about my employee's lives and livelihoods. Happy people work better. I'm going to say that again, louder.

Happy people work better.

If people are given the flexibility they need to work and have a home life - in this case fulfilling a legal obligation to look after a self isolating child - they will be less stressed. They will be happier coming to work when they come back. They will be more willing to be flexible back.
If you feel people are abusing the system, you deal with that appropriately through HR processes. But when someone is doing everything they can to both fulfil their work commitments (husband doing 50%) and look after their child (so, you know, they don't get charged with child neglect) and not break the law by providing alternative childcare when isolating, that is NOT someone abusing the system.

I absolutely despise this attitude that work is 100% of someones life and takes precedence at all times. Businesses are only here because of users and consumers. They are run by people for people.

Yes it makes things tricky. I need a certain number of people to function. When we drop below that things get very tricky very very fast. I've also managed a cafe in the past, and work on 50% lower than our minimum staffing requirement. It was beyond miserable. People were abusive. My other option was to call in members of staff suffering from D&V (which they'd probably caught from each other, not wanting to let me down and coming in when they shouldn't) in which case I'd be breaking the law. Or should I have called in the person who was on holiday in Florida? Or I know, the person on maternity leave? Sometimes staffing just doesn't work out because you can't counter for every eventuality. In the current circumstances some people have to self isolate.
If the OP had called in to self isolate herself, after being caught by T&T what would your answer be then?
As a manager it's your responsibility to help your team cope when staffing is down, not to force your employees to break the law to make your life easier.

@Alannawhorideslikeaman:
Happy people work better. I'm going to say that again, louder.

Does that include the person who is in work and has had to pick up a colleague's work on top of their own for three out of five weeks (two bubble infections and one dinner lady infection), while at the same time having to find time to shop and care for a vulnerable relative? Someone working in an area where the workload has increased due to COVID, and deadlines have to be met? Where a temp can't be brought in because there is no vacancy (and they would need training anyway? Someone who is now sleeping less than four hours a night because of the stress, and is on the verge of resigning because they cannot do two people's work anymore?

[quote WhateverHappenedToMe]@Alannawhorideslikeaman:
Happy people work better. I'm going to say that again, louder.

Does that include the person who is in work and has had to pick up a colleague's work on top of their own for three out of five weeks (two bubble infections and one dinner lady infection), while at the same time having to find time to shop and care for a vulnerable relative? Someone working in an area where the workload has increased due to COVID, and deadlines have to be met? Where a temp can't be brought in because there is no vacancy (and they would need training anyway? Someone who is now sleeping less than four hours a night because of the stress, and is on the verge of resigning because they cannot do two people's work anymore?[/quote]
Would they rather those people isolating came in, potentially passed covid over and then had to self isolate themselves?
Again, this is about managers managing workloads. Yes targets have to be met, but if I'm down three members of staff it's my responsibility as a manger to say to either my customers or my higher management that due to the unforseen circumstances of the pandemic, we are not going to meet those target dates. There has to be a little leeway in these circumstances. I'm not talking about bad customer service for the sake of it, I'm talking about open and honest communication from everybody.
If someone is not sleeping due to stress, they need to be signed off work. They are no longer going to be performing optimally. If someone is working far longer hours than they should because they can't get their work done, their manager should be controlling that.

We live in a society which exalts those who work harder than anyone else, put in more hours than anyone else and who sacrifice more than anyone else. It's worn with a badge of honour. Yes sometimes work is hard because you're down a member or two of your team - see my original post. Most staff members have empathy for the unforeseen circumstances we all face in our lives. If everyone tries to be a little bit flexible, it usually balances out over time. I always say to my team if someone asks you to swap a shift and you can, try to do it because you never know when you might be the one who needs a swap. But being made to work consistently excessive hours and face extreme stress is not the other employees fault + the ones who are desperately trying to cover isolating children etc - it's the problem of the company setting the workload and staffing levels.
If you are the person struggling as you have outlined I fully recommend you set yourself some boundaries and speak to your HR department for support

@WhateverHappenedToMe

Someone working in an area where the workload has increased due to COVID, and deadlines have to be met? Where a temp can't be brought in because there is no vacancy (and they would need training anyway?

If your workload has massively increased then your employer should be hiring more people or using temps. This is their fault, not your co-workers.

Has @GreenLakes been back to tell us what alternative arrangements OP can make given the law dictates only she or her partner can look after the isolating child?

As I’ve said @SlipperyDippery, it’s not for me or any other management to dictate to staff which childcare options they should be using. We have no interest in doing so.

All we require is that staff find a solution that works for both them and the company. Fundamentally, employees are required to attend work.

@GreenLakes

As I’ve said *@SlipperyDippery*, it’s not for me or any other management to dictate to staff which childcare options they should be using. We have no interest in doing so.

All we require is that staff find a solution that works for both them and the company. Fundamentally, employees are required to attend work.

You can't answer the question!

@Ellpellwood

What I would say is that many of our employees have found innovative and flexible solutions that allow them to attend work, while also facilitating their DC to isolate.

Some have moved grandparents or singalongs in to stay with them for the isolation period and provide childcare. One relative slept in a tent in the garden and another in their car.

As long as people were willing to risk the health of their potentially aged-over-60 parents just to meet your arbitrary deadlines, it's all good then.