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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work don't have a clue?

180 replies

Rosebel · 05/07/2021 23:25

Once again forced to take time off work because my son has been in contact with a Covid case at nursery.
Well aware the rules are changing for schools and really hope it's the same for nurseries.
I can't WFH and nor can my husband. I'm so pissed off with work who seem to think I should have back up childcare in place, even though I literally have no family to help and the fact my son is meant to be isolating so shouldn't be mixing anyway.
I try to work as much as I can (roughly 4 hours before DH has to leave for work) and we split leave fairly evenly so it's not always me who's off.
But I still get nagged and bitched at by work as to why I have to take time off (even though they know he's only 1).
Maybe I'm being unreasonable but I have a suspicion that my manager and team leaders (all male) don't have a fucking clue because they don't deal with the kids when they are sick. They expect their partner to do it and then seem to expect the same from their team members partners.
I'm actually on the verge of quitting because I'm sick to death of works attitude.
I'm trying my absolute best but if nursery says he has to isolate I have to look after him 50%of the time because that's what being partners in parenting is about.
Does everyone else get this at work? AIBU to mentally tell them to fuck off when they are giving me a hard time?

OP posts:
moynomore · 07/07/2021 13:43

[quote GreenLakes]@Ducksarenotmyfriends

Clearly on one off unprecedented occasions, businesses can and do offer flexibility to employees. As I say, my company offers up to 3 days’ leave for when employees’ DC need to isolate.

However, we cannot have multiple staff members absent on multiple occasions due to DC isolating- they need to have something in place to provide childcare.

Businesses need staff at work and working in order to survive.[/quote]

For the millionth time, when a child is isolating the people who can look after the child are members of the child's household. What are people supposed to do in your view? Resign?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/07/2021 13:47

@Ducksarenotmyfriends

And who do many businesses serve? Oh yeah human fucking beings who are then inconvenienced by having to wait longer for things than normal. So when they have to wait a bit longer at the supermarket because some of the staff are isolating or have no childcare, ot they can't get a home delivery as quickly as they want do they just say oh well shit happens. No they don't. What they do is abuse the staff there who are already working flat out to cover the extra demand and cover their colleagues who are out for the 3rd time because their child has been sent home.
Maybe its a bit easier to see in these cases where the resentment starts to come in.

GreenLakes · 07/07/2021 13:49

@SpudleyLass

That is not true.

Whole class isolations do not result in parents or carers having to isolate. We would not accept absence during that reason at my place.

SpudleyLass · 07/07/2021 13:50

[quote sweeneytoddsrazor]@Ducksarenotmyfriends

And who do many businesses serve? Oh yeah human fucking beings who are then inconvenienced by having to wait longer for things than normal. So when they have to wait a bit longer at the supermarket because some of the staff are isolating or have no childcare, ot they can't get a home delivery as quickly as they want do they just say oh well shit happens. No they don't. What they do is abuse the staff there who are already working flat out to cover the extra demand and cover their colleagues who are out for the 3rd time because their child has been sent home.
Maybe its a bit easier to see in these cases where the resentment starts to come in.[/quote]
Employers could stick up for the staff and remind unreasonable customers that we are still in the midst of a pandemic and not shift the burden onto the employees who happen to be parents and are suffering as much as the customers who aren't getting their precious items on time.

Its not the parents fault - take it up with the government.

Curious ; if your employee broke the rules for you, would you be happy to pay their fine for them?

SpudleyLass · 07/07/2021 13:51

[quote GreenLakes]@SpudleyLass

That is not true.

Whole class isolations do not result in parents or carers having to isolate. We would not accept absence during that reason at my place.[/quote]
Yes it is.

Yes it absolutely is.

It sounds like your place may be in breach of the law - where do you work?

moynomore · 07/07/2021 13:55

[quote GreenLakes]@SpudleyLass

That is not true.

Whole class isolations do not result in parents or carers having to isolate. We would not accept absence during that reason at my place.[/quote]
But only the parents (or someone in the household) are allowed to look after the child. Whether the parents themselves have to isolate or not.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/07/2021 13:58

I am not blaming the parent, and certainly where I work management does back up employees who receive abuse. However it doesn't stop the abuse happening on a daily basis. So if people expect employers to be flexible and cater for their employees they are going to have to accept that it will occasionally cause delays with things. That hasn't really happened.

SpudleyLass · 07/07/2021 13:59

Even if it wasn't true, Op's son is only a year old.

So either Op or the father would be having to stay home with the kid anyway - for the full 10 days, as required.

And OP has been told they're not allowed to use annual leave, for some bizarre reason so can't even do that.

SpudleyLass · 07/07/2021 14:02

@sweeneytoddsrazor

I am not blaming the parent, and certainly where I work management does back up employees who receive abuse. However it doesn't stop the abuse happening on a daily basis. So if people expect employers to be flexible and cater for their employees they are going to have to accept that it will occasionally cause delays with things. That hasn't really happened.
I work in retail, so I appreciate how abusive some people can be.

I don't think it would cause any customer any great hardship to be told to wait for once, depending on the item obviously.

Corporations like Amazon have people accustomed to having what they want almost immediately. We'd do better stepping away from that.

ConkerBonkers · 07/07/2021 14:10

Theunamedcat I'm assuming the op is doing what all parents in this situation do and use either annual leave or unpaid leave to fulfil their caring responsibilities. So NO the company are not paying her to be at home. The company need to sort their shit out so there is cover for when things like this crop up. And they crop up all the time, kids can get really sick, covid or no covid. I suspect that the company are underrrsourced and are taking it out on the op. This is on the company, and not on the op. Unamedcat give your head a wobble.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/07/2021 14:25

Corporations like Amazon have people accustomed to having what they want almost immediately. We'd do better stepping away from that.

@SpudleyLass

That is exactly right. People are wanting more flexibility in the workplace whilst expecting 24/7 service. It isn't compatible. But nobody seems to be able to come up with an alternative either. Most companies can't afford to have employees sat around waiting to cover someone who is off.

Brefugee · 07/07/2021 14:28

And OP has been told they're not allowed to use annual leave, for some bizarre reason so can't even do that.

Bizarre, isn't it ?
OP are you in a union?

Original poster
Rosebel · 07/07/2021 14:35

Yes I am in a union.

OP posts:
LuxOlente · 07/07/2021 14:36

Join a Union, or complain to your MP asking what the government suggest about people forced out of work due to isolation. However, they've repeatedly shown they don't care. Even if you had Covid, they don't care. You'd end up destitute on sick pay.

Let's hope people remember it all next time they're at the ballot box.

Brefugee · 07/07/2021 14:56

Yes I am in a union

Blimey! The first time anyone has ever replied in the affermative. Have you asked them? Doesn't have to be your rep at work, you can call their info Hotline. Start a paper trail by emailing them about it too.

AntsInPenzance · 07/07/2021 15:12

I know your husband is doing a lot. Can he have a discreet word with his manager, explain the situation with your company's attitude, and ask if they'd be okay for him to do any future self-isolation with your child?

BobMortimersPetOwl · 07/07/2021 15:19

I expected you to say you'd had weeks and weeks off. But I don't think the amount of time you've had off is excessive in the circumstances so I think whilst your employer has been inconvenienced, they're being very unreasonable.

Ellpellwood · 07/07/2021 15:48

I hate this eyelash-batting faux ignorance. "Noo, the parents don't have to isolate." But one of them and only one of them has to look after their one-year old as the child is not allowed to see anyone else, unless they are fortunate enough to have another adult at home. It is extremely basic logic.

drspouse · 07/07/2021 16:04

I’m a senior manager at a medium sized company and we will only permit an absolute maximum of 3 days’ leave for DC having to isolate.

I'm dying to hear what you expect parents to do for the remaining 4 days, assuming both parents live in the same house/no days are covered by weekends or other forms of leave.
Abandon a one year old at home on their own?
Break the law and send the child to a relative?

MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 07/07/2021 16:44

Lone parent here. Frontline nhs in an understaffed role.

DS sent home from primary school to isolate

Employer: can't someone else look after him
Me: Not legally, no

Some of the posters on this thread seem to think there's another childcare option or I should give up work. Please explain how this work for my family and my employer.

MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 07/07/2021 16:49

Ps
Sorry OP that your workplace aren't being more understanding when the situation is out of your control

GreenLakes · 07/07/2021 17:10

@drspouse

Employees are expected to find a childcare solution that is suitable for both them and the company to cover isolation periods.

MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 07/07/2021 17:16

[quote GreenLakes]@drspouse

Employees are expected to find a childcare solution that is suitable for both them and the company to cover isolation periods.[/quote]
That's the problem though. The childcare alternatives are not legal during isolation!!!!

Whilst highly inconvenient to all involved, isolation removes all alternatives. Please enlighten us to the practical childcare solution you know about that we don't

drspouse · 07/07/2021 17:18

[quote GreenLakes]@drspouse

Employees are expected to find a childcare solution that is suitable for both them and the company to cover isolation periods.[/quote]
The only legal childcare is members of the household. If that's not suitable for the company what can the employer do?

moynomore · 07/07/2021 17:26

@GreenLakes go on, give us an example of such a solution.

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