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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask guests to take lateral flow test?

203 replies

Blue1212 · 05/07/2021 11:28

It's our sons 1st birthday party on Saturday and we are planning a get together in the back garden.

We don't have a massive garden, and although we won't be going over the numbers allowed, it could be difficult for everyone to distance.

My brother qmd his family, has just phoned up to cancel as their daughter has just tested positive for covid, and our dd's school has sent home two classes from her year group today.

Aibu to ask all adults attending take a lft as a precaution?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 14:23

@fromdownwest

With this level of concern of your guests, I also assume that you will not be serving alcohol, salt and saturatd fats as a precaution agaisnt heart disease.
What a ridiculous comparison. Confused
mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:26

@fromdownwest

With this level of concern of your guests, I also assume that you will not be serving alcohol, salt and saturatd fats as a precaution agaisnt heart disease.
Totally agree!
fromdownwest · 05/07/2021 14:27

Really? More people have died from Heart attacks in the last week than Covid.

My point is that most people are now double vacinated, and as a result, we should now be looking to return to normality and accept that risks occur in life.

If people like the OP insist on installing barriers to normality, then we will never return to a normal existence.

We are so far forward from 12 months ago, and I think that people need to look at the facts and reality, not be ruled by an actual irrational fear based on the actual mortgality rates of each.

CupOfTPlease · 05/07/2021 14:29

@Pinchoftums

Ask away. It's an added precaution that could knock out someone with covid. No idea why anyone would object.
This.

If they don't want to take them. Don't come. Simple as that.

lljkk · 05/07/2021 14:30

Have you decided what you will do, @Blue1212?

How many people did you invite? - Let us know how many turn up.

CupOfTPlease · 05/07/2021 14:31

@fromdownwest

With this level of concern of your guests, I also assume that you will not be serving alcohol, salt and saturatd fats as a precaution agaisnt heart disease.
You can't compare the two 😂😂.
wasthataburp · 05/07/2021 14:32

I wouldn't attend at party if someone asked me to do this. In fact, I'd consider the friendship dead.

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 14:33

@wasthataburp

I wouldn't attend at party if someone asked me to do this. In fact, I'd consider the friendship dead.
How very dramatic.
fromdownwest · 05/07/2021 14:34

@CupOfTPlease - True - one has killed 996 people in a week the other has killed 12.

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 14:36

[quote fromdownwest]@CupOfTPlease - True - one has killed 996 people in a week the other has killed 12.[/quote]
You can’t catch a heart attack from one beer and a few extra cheese sandwiches.

The risk associated with that party is low. Asking people if they’d mind taking LFTs is probably OTT.

The comparison with heart disease is bonkers.

wasthataburp · 05/07/2021 14:36

@PurpleDaisies not dramatic. Just would not want to associate with these over dramatic OCD types. Testing people to attend a 1 yr olds party OUTSIDE ffs. I've never heard of anything so bloody ridiculous

fromdownwest · 05/07/2021 14:36

@CupOfTPlease - The point I am trying to make, is that we need to live with an element of risk in life. We do this every day, without realising.

As most people are now vaccinated, and the mortality rates are very very very low, and near nil in vaccinated non at risk people, we need to move towards normality.

When will we cease to request medical tests be undertaken on house guests? Zero cases?

Take a step back, assess the actual risk, and then see if you still think testing is suitable (ignoring the inaccruacy of the tests)

SoupDragon · 05/07/2021 14:36

Are the people who are saying they wouldn’t do one, would you refuse to do one if visiting an elderly relative at home or at a care home?

I said I wouldn't do one for a party as described in the OP. I did do one to visit my mum in a nursing home. That was a necessity.

blackcurrantjam · 05/07/2021 14:39

Yabu. Need to get on with life now Confused

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 14:40

[quote wasthataburp]@PurpleDaisies not dramatic. Just would not want to associate with these over dramatic OCD types. Testing people to attend a 1 yr olds party OUTSIDE ffs. I've never heard of anything so bloody ridiculous [/quote]
So you would bin someone you previously considered a friend because they dared to ask you if you would mind doing a test? You wouldn’t even refuse and see what they said? That’s it. Friendship dead. Hmm

You don’t know what people have been through during the pandemic. Some people have lost relatives or had them suffer in ICU. I wouldn’t ask people to do LFTs to come to mine but I understand people have different experiences and perceptions of risk. It’s at tricky time to negotiate now and people really could just be a bit nicer to each other while we negotiate what life is going to be like getting back to normal.

Your use of “OCD types” is really out of order. You know that’s a mental illness which can have devastating effects on people?

blackcurrantjam · 05/07/2021 14:41

@SoupDragon

Are the people who are saying they wouldn’t do one, would you refuse to do one if visiting an elderly relative at home or at a care home?

I said I wouldn't do one for a party as described in the OP. I did do one to visit my mum in a nursing home. That was a necessity.

I do them for work. But weirdly I think they're a bit rubbish. I honestly think people have had enough. My parents are old, double jabbed, tbh if they were in a nursing home, I'd have broken them out if I could such was the hideousness of the last eighteen months for those in nursing homes.
hamstersarse · 05/07/2021 14:45

You might be better testing for flu.

In the week ending 18th June, there were 1069 deaths involving flu, and 102 deaths involving Covid.

And given flu is more deadly than Covid to children, you really must protect them

NoSquirrels · 05/07/2021 14:47

Are the people who are saying they wouldn’t do one, would you refuse to do one if visiting an elderly relative at home or at a care home?

Visiting a care home full of exclusively the most vulnerable to Covid-19 is in no way comparable to visiting the garden of a household with school-age children. So it’s a totally bogus comparison.

wasthataburp · 05/07/2021 15:07

@PurpleDaisies I'm going on the basis I would be refused entry if not taking a test. To be honest everything we have been through is exactly why I would choose not to be friends with these sort of people. It's all just far too dramatic and I could bloody do without it really. Each to their own but I can't be done with it.

SVRT19674 · 05/07/2021 15:29

I wouldn´t go to a birthday party test or no test, and even less for a 1 year old, who knows nothing about it.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 05/07/2021 15:59

So you would bin someone you previously considered a friend because they dared to ask you if you would mind doing a test?

I would just not go. It would be 'Thanks but no thanks'.

I only tested to go and see my mother abroad as it was required. My father died in a side room in ICU of Covid, but I only got to see him on vid link. I have PTSD from my daughter's death and illness and part of that was her gagging on NG tubes, vomiting them up and she was also on a vent. So no, I won't test unless I have symptoms or it's required. But not for an outdoor party. Or any party.

I went on a shared accommodation holiday a week or so ago and we were all double jabbed, well over a month ago. She had kits there but we didn't use them.

I agree with you about people trivialising OCD. That rips my knitting. My son has OCD. It's a horrible condition.

Littlecaf · 05/07/2021 16:01

“It's not a big deal for you It is a big deal for others for a variety of reasons.”

What’s the variety of other reasons?

I’m actually shocked that people think the OP is being unreasonable! It seems sensible to me. Regular testing IS learning to live with it. Literally takes 1 min to do a test then go about your normal day check the test 30 mins later! Parents are supposed to be doing them for primary school ages children and secondary school children themselves. Are you all of doing this anyway? It’s as easy as having a cuppa or writing a Mumsnet post.

warmfluffytowels · 05/07/2021 16:03

YABU. They're hugely unreliable, for starters.

If you asked me, I wouldn't go. I've never taken any kind of COVID test and I have no plans to start now!

osbertthesyrianhamster · 05/07/2021 16:09

@Littlecaf

“It's not a big deal for you It is a big deal for others for a variety of reasons.”

What’s the variety of other reasons?

I’m actually shocked that people think the OP is being unreasonable! It seems sensible to me. Regular testing IS learning to live with it. Literally takes 1 min to do a test then go about your normal day check the test 30 mins later! Parents are supposed to be doing them for primary school ages children and secondary school children themselves. Are you all of doing this anyway? It’s as easy as having a cuppa or writing a Mumsnet post.

Nope, not doing it at all. My kids have never had one until we need it to travel abroad and that's the only reason. Me, neither. Don't find it sensible at all especially as it's an unreliable test and no, don't find it as easy as having a cuppa as I have PTSD. My son has autism and other co-morbidities and finds it very hard. I'm double jabbed and they'll be getting their first dose of Pfizer in the airport on the other side and the second dose wherever a couple of weeks later.

Wouldn't test for an outdoor birthday party or any party at all. I'd just decline. If it's sprung on me, I'd say, 'Sorry, but no, here's your gift' and leave.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 05/07/2021 16:11

What’s the variety of other reasons?

I have PTSD. My son has autism and other conditions.