Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask guests to take lateral flow test?

203 replies

Blue1212 · 05/07/2021 11:28

It's our sons 1st birthday party on Saturday and we are planning a get together in the back garden.

We don't have a massive garden, and although we won't be going over the numbers allowed, it could be difficult for everyone to distance.

My brother qmd his family, has just phoned up to cancel as their daughter has just tested positive for covid, and our dd's school has sent home two classes from her year group today.

Aibu to ask all adults attending take a lft as a precaution?

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 05/07/2021 12:16

@kindaclassy

Very good post from 00100001

but mainly this: causes a false sense of security that "everyone is negative"

And thus they are more likely to alter behaviour and engage in riskier behaviour (eg lots of hugs, going indoors regardless etc etc)

Yep, counter productive.

MaudesMum · 05/07/2021 12:22

As others have said, the risk is more likely to come from children, who you presumably wouldn't be asking to test, so it won't actually do much good? I'd comply if there was a really good reason, eg one of you was incredibly vulnerable, but I'd probably think you were a bit mad otherwise. I went away to a high-number part of the country last week and took a couple of lateral flow tests before seeing my 70+ relatives at the weekend, to reassure them (and me) that I was likely to be ok. I'm travelling around a bit this week, and will probably do the same before seeing a vulnerable friend this weekend.

Chloemol · 05/07/2021 12:27

It’s up to you, personally it wouldn’t bother me to take the test. I don’t think it would bother other family members either

BastardMonkfish · 05/07/2021 12:28

Oh God YABVU! You do realise most adults don't actually want to go to children's birthday parties, asking them to take a covid test as well is just adding insult to injury 😬

UmamiMammy · 05/07/2021 12:32

I would have no issue taking one before a party.

00100001 · 05/07/2021 12:34

@MaudesMum

As others have said, the risk is more likely to come from children, who you presumably wouldn't be asking to test, so it won't actually do much good? I'd comply if there was a really good reason, eg one of you was incredibly vulnerable, but I'd probably think you were a bit mad otherwise. I went away to a high-number part of the country last week and took a couple of lateral flow tests before seeing my 70+ relatives at the weekend, to reassure them (and me) that I was likely to be ok. I'm travelling around a bit this week, and will probably do the same before seeing a vulnerable friend this weekend.
I'd assume that if they had an incredibly vulnerable person in the household, they wouldn't be hosting a party for people to come along to?
sassbott · 05/07/2021 12:34

YABVU. No one is going to test their children (who are most at risk of transmitting it).
If you’re that worried, why are you hosting a birthday party for a 1 year old? They won’t remember it (or really take any particular enjoyment in it). The one year old will be very content with an empty box, paper to play with and recognisable faces.

I wouldn’t take one if asked and I would decline the invite also.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 05/07/2021 12:37

You're expecting people to distance at an outdoor party for a 1-year-old? Hmm What are you going to do if someone needs the loo? Sounds like you shouldn't be hosting a party.

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 12:38

What are you going to do if someone needs the loo?

Most people use the loo alone. I think that counts as socially distanced…

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 05/07/2021 12:39

Making them test may increase your risk due to behavioural changes. If everyone who tests ‘negative’ turns up you may all drop your guard and behave in riskier ways. One of the guests may have received a false negative.

andweallsingalong · 05/07/2021 12:40

Sounds sensible.

I have taken LFT's before going to a wedding and before visiting vulnerable friends, relatives and work colleagues. Never been asked to, but if it makes me even slightly less likely to turn up with covid and pass it on, that's good enough for me.

Doesn't change my behaviour in any way, I know they're not infallible and I don't know anyone else's risk level.

If they abolish, masks, social distancing and increase people on the building I'll probably start to test twice a week as standard.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 05/07/2021 12:41

Dear god, riskier behaviour in a garden? Why bother hosting a party then? For a 1-year-old, if there are toddlers about, hard to socially distance when the toddlers go afoot.

maddening · 05/07/2021 12:42

I don't see why there is any harm to anyone doing a lft? So yanbu from me.

They aren't pleasant but when I do mine myself in front of a mirror it is not so bad at all.

maddening · 05/07/2021 12:44

Ps I do so them anyway before I socialise at the moment and I am relatively low risk as dh and I wfh, our main risk vector is ds at school.

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/07/2021 12:46

@sassbott

YABVU. No one is going to test their children (who are most at risk of transmitting it). If you’re that worried, why are you hosting a birthday party for a 1 year old? They won’t remember it (or really take any particular enjoyment in it). The one year old will be very content with an empty box, paper to play with and recognisable faces.

I wouldn’t take one if asked and I would decline the invite also.

That's my response.
Realitea · 05/07/2021 12:47

It’s better than nothing but twice now we’ve done this before meeting up and both times someone in the party has tested positive shortly after. It causes a lot of upheaval and worry and some having to take time off work to isolate
They’re not reliable but better than nothing

lastqueenofscotland · 05/07/2021 12:48

If you asked me to I would but I would also be thinking to myself that you needed to get a grip

Popetthetreehugger · 05/07/2021 12:49

We did this last month for a family get together, 5 families . We were all chilled about it as my daughters MIL is super cautious and they were meeting next day . Half of us do them for work anyway, so no big deal !

HeddaGarbled · 05/07/2021 12:49

What for?

A child who isn’t now coming has tested positive and some adults who also aren’t coming have been in contact with that child.

A child in your household may have been in contact with another child who has tested positive.

Isn’t it you and the rest of your household who need to be getting tested to make sure you don’t infect your guests rather than vice versa?

Also, why the adults, when it’s children who seem to be the risk factors here?

Your thinking seems very odd.

Wombat36 · 05/07/2021 12:50

Nope, rather stay at home.

You're entitled to manage your own risk but not inflict that level of invasive test on others.

speakout · 05/07/2021 12:52

causes a false sense of security that "everyone is negative"

This would concern me.

My DD had a negative lateral flow test and a positive PCR test a few hours later.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/07/2021 12:52

I'm assuming testing will probably become the thing we do more once restrictions are lifted, as can't see that going away. Especially if they are going to get rid of isolating.

I always do a test before meeting up with people indoors.

If someone asked me to do a test before a party, of course I would. It's not a big deal

GreyhoundG1rl · 05/07/2021 12:53

@MrsPsmalls

Absolutely I would ask. It's protects them as much as you and if they don't like it they dont have to come. Your party your rules. I've been to two events now (family parties) where we all had to test before going in.
Your party, your rules... 😬 But they don't have to come. I wouldn't, if anyone took that tone with me.
3scape · 05/07/2021 12:54

Why don't you just check they're vaccination status whilst you're at it?! Hmm

Littlecaf · 05/07/2021 12:54

I went on a hen party at the weekend and maid of honour asked everyone to take a lateral flow beforehand and everyone did. It’s no big deal. I actually think this sort of request is sensible and part of “learning to live with it”.