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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask guests to take lateral flow test?

203 replies

Blue1212 · 05/07/2021 11:28

It's our sons 1st birthday party on Saturday and we are planning a get together in the back garden.

We don't have a massive garden, and although we won't be going over the numbers allowed, it could be difficult for everyone to distance.

My brother qmd his family, has just phoned up to cancel as their daughter has just tested positive for covid, and our dd's school has sent home two classes from her year group today.

Aibu to ask all adults attending take a lft as a precaution?

OP posts:
User5827372728 · 05/07/2021 13:30

I usually do one before I go see my parents inside for prolonged periods of time.

Would happily do one for a party.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 05/07/2021 13:31

@Lavender24

I mean you can ask but be prepared for people to back out and not come (which is what I would do).
Me too
colourchanginglipstick · 05/07/2021 13:32

I wouldn't mind you asking me but I'd choose not to attend as I struggle with things involving my nose and throat. I'd hope you would be understanding and it wouldn't cause bad feeling between us in future.

suspiria777 · 05/07/2021 13:34

@Medievalist

They're so unreliable I'm not sure there would be much point.
agree. negative results are not reliable at all but may give people a false impression of safety
PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 13:34

The tests take half an hour to work (that's how long the home tests I got from the NHS told me to leave it anyway) so how would you do it? Would you drop them all off a test now so they can take it, or make them wait outside? Or are they supposed to obtain tests themselves and do it at home?

They’re easy to get hold of. We’re all encouraged to do two a week.

It’s great to see the public health message is so clear on these tests…

Athinginitself · 05/07/2021 13:38

I'd be really happy to do one, seems sensible, they are freely available, take a couple of minutes and although not totally reliable better than nothing.

BungleandGeorge · 05/07/2021 13:39

Will you be testing your daughter? as people have mentioned it looks like she is the most likely to be positive. I wouldn’t mind the request personally, although might pretend I did just to get out of going to a 1 year olds birthday party...

ArnoldJudasRimmer · 05/07/2021 13:41

YANBU, some people might kick up a fuss but they're not obliged to come. I wouldn't mind, I don't think they're all that reliable but if I was coming to your house and it made you feel comfortable, I'd happily do it. I have a little one at nursery so do them regularly anyway.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/07/2021 13:42

But if social distancing, masks, number of people attending are dropped there is completely false security anyway. A LFT at least might pick up some people.

Are the people who are saying they wouldn’t do one, would you refuse to do one if visiting an elderly relative at home or at a care home?

GreyhoundG1rl · 05/07/2021 13:43

@BungleandGeorge

Will you be testing your daughter? as people have mentioned it looks like she is the most likely to be positive. I wouldn’t mind the request personally, although might pretend I did just to get out of going to a 1 year olds birthday party...
This is it, really... people might be happy to do it for a wedding, but a baby's birthday party in a back garden?
RedToothBrush · 05/07/2021 13:45

@ineedaholidaynow

But if social distancing, masks, number of people attending are dropped there is completely false security anyway. A LFT at least might pick up some people.

Are the people who are saying they wouldn’t do one, would you refuse to do one if visiting an elderly relative at home or at a care home?

I wouldn't visit an elderly relative at home or at a care home without taking more precautions than a lateral flow tbh.
osbertthesyrianhamster · 05/07/2021 13:46

@ineedaholidaynow

But if social distancing, masks, number of people attending are dropped there is completely false security anyway. A LFT at least might pick up some people.

Are the people who are saying they wouldn’t do one, would you refuse to do one if visiting an elderly relative at home or at a care home?

We've visited MIL who's elderly and 'vulnerable' several times since being double jabbed. She'd find it ridiculous to test before seeing her.
JesusSufferingFuck22 · 05/07/2021 13:47

We just had a get together yesterday. Similar scenario. Everyone did a lateral flow test before coming without being asked to. I think it’s only polite. A bit like wearing a mask. It’s not a big deal. Covid-19 might not kill any of us because we’ve had both vaccines but I still don’t want to get ill or pass it on to anyone else!

ineedaholidaynow · 05/07/2021 13:51

And if she was in a care home @osbertthesyrianhamster?

I still take precautions including a test if visiting elderly DM indoors, not just for her but the other residents I sometimes meet in her retirement flats

TheGumption · 05/07/2021 13:52

Tbh I wouldn't even count on it going ahead! If two in your daughters year have been sent home there will probably be more. If your daughter has to isolate you can't have a bunch of people over unless you make her stay indoors. I'd just keep fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Lucidas · 05/07/2021 13:54

I asked family to take lateral flow tests before visiting my newborn, but that was an indoor visit with cuddles etc. I wouldn’t bother with outdoors, but up to you. The effort isn’t huge.

traumatisednoodle · 05/07/2021 13:55

pharmaceutical-journal.com/article/feature/how-reliable-are-lateral-flow-covid-19-tests#:~:text=The%20Innova%20lateral%20flow%20test%2C%20which%20is%20provided%20via%20the,test%20is%20at%20detecting%20true

Between 60-70% pick up rate. I wonder if those of us HCPs who have been doing it since December have a better rate, being more practised ? I don't even look in the mirror anymore and actually neither do the DCs.

mn2022 · 05/07/2021 13:59

You mean, ask guests to take a very unreliable test so you feel morally better about having lots of people over?

me4real · 05/07/2021 14:01

They’re easy to get hold of. We’re all encouraged to do two a week. It’s great to see the public health message is so clear on these tests

@PurpleDaisies If I'm not doing that then the vast, vast majority of people are not. I was pretty impressed with myself at getting a few tests I ordered online as a precaution when my best friend got a false positive (I was negative and am sure he will be on the next test.)

I wonder how many people are routinely giving themselves 2 tests a week voluntarily, not for work or any event or anything at all. Show me that person and I'll show you someone in some/many ways differing from the norm.

I didn't get into doing that for various reasons, but have happily had both my jabs.

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2021 14:04

I’m not saying most people are actually doing them @me4real. The public health message about them has been utterly non existent. I totally get that most people aren’t.

Earwigworries · 05/07/2021 14:14

It looks like your daughter and your own immediate family is a risk to your guests rather than the other way round .

showerbeer · 05/07/2021 14:16

YANBU. I do them before I go to my parents’. I think it’s largely useless but it makes them feel better so I don’t mind. I wouldn’t ask people to do them myself but it’s up to you.

fromdownwest · 05/07/2021 14:19

I have been double vacinated to avoid this very indicent.

I would not be attending if this was a requirement pre attendence. We need to move towards normality now the vaccine programme is rolled out.

Actions like this will just hinder our return to normality.

Jaxhog · 05/07/2021 14:20

@Pinchoftums

Ask away. It's an added precaution that could knock out someone with covid. No idea why anyone would object.
This. Why would anyone object?
fromdownwest · 05/07/2021 14:22

With this level of concern of your guests, I also assume that you will not be serving alcohol, salt and saturatd fats as a precaution agaisnt heart disease.

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