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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dogs in Restaurants

916 replies

IDontGetOutMuch · 04/07/2021 20:05

Took my mum out to lunch today. It was a nice enough place-£25 per head.
Have expectations changed with regard to dogs in restaurants? There were four other tables in our section and three had a dog with them.
Two of them barked at least three times during the meal. One jumped up at a waitress carrying puddings to another table, paws on her apron. One jumped up at the table wanting to be fed. One was petted by another waitress who then went straight to a table to take orders without washing hands. One was lying in the way so that I had to ask the owner to move it to allow my mother to get through with her Walker.
We had a dog when I was a child. He never went to a restaurant. What about people with allergies?
Is it okay that they do? Do I need to get over myself? I tried to compare to children. I expect my children to cause no disturbance to others at a restaurant and to stay at the table. We expected this even when they were little and actually rarely went to restaurants anyway.

OP posts:
LST · 06/07/2021 13:33

@TastyTicklemore

Sigh. These threads always go the same way... descending into petty insults and fights from both sides.
I've seen a lot more insult throwing from the no-dog brigade if I am honest.
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:34

And I didn't go back to that restaurant, I also left reviews on Facebook and TripAdvsor so the restaurants shitty response to having an injured member of staff and wasted food had an impact on them.

Thinking about it the place closed down about 18 months later. Maybe it was their lack of consideration for customers and staff that did it 🤷‍♀️

CatsArePeople · 06/07/2021 13:35

yes, you need to get over yourself. There are way more restaurants which don't allow dogs than those that do.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:35

@vivainsomnia

Because you're bringing something extra along that may be disruptive. I'm not Disruptive to yourself. You might be disruptive to me and not even knowing. I can't stand the sound of loud giggling women for instance.

Is it ok for me to co plain that tipsy giggly women shouldn't be allowed in any restaurants because I find them disruptive?

Where do you draw the line?

Oh so as long as it's not disruptive to YOU then it's fine 😂 smacks a little of narcissism. I'll bring my friend's snake on, let it slither around and say "hell well it ain't bothering me" and see how well that goes down.
vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 13:35

What's utterly frustrating is the massive misconception and generalisations that are being made here.

Dogs have to behave and not be disruptive - which I just don't think the vast majority of dogs bored and hungry in a restaurants can do
Perfect example. Most dogs just sleep under the table. I always bring a treat for mine. When she's got this, nothing is going to disturb her. Dogs as awhile as so much less disruptive then toddlers. Do you think the same of them.

Its really unhygienic. Who wants to eat in a place where there is dog hair floating around? Grim
And another...do you that many dogs don't shed their hair. That your hair is probably more likely to end up in next table's food than my dog's?

Judge a particular dog that is provi go to be disruptive and unhygienic, just don't conclude that all dogs are the same.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:37

I've seen a lot more insult throwing from the no-dog brigade if I am honest.

Not adoring someone else's dog is not the same as someone (as they did earlier I can't remember who) saying people need to get over their fears and allergies because their dog has 'mOrE RiGhTs'

LST · 06/07/2021 13:37

Letting a snake slither round is not having it under control so you'd be being a dick doing that

Dogmum40 · 06/07/2021 13:39

@Malin52

I adore dogs. Life is made better by the presence of a dog. I can't stand children. The sense of entitlement people have in bringing their dirty, untrained, loud, messy, stinky brats into adult establishments such as pubs and restaurants. I actively avoid anywhere that welcomes children.

People are different. Have garish 'family friendly' places all to yourself and I'll stick to my lovely dog and adult friendly places. We are all happy.

Me too! I’ve found my people 🤣🤣🤣
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:39

Perfect example. Most dogs just sleep under the table. I always bring a treat for mine. When she's got this, nothing is going to disturb her. Dogs as awhile as so much less disruptive then toddlers. Do you think the same of them.

IME dogs rarely do that in restaurants. Only on MN are dogs always so still Grin

Toddlers are humans and can't just sit under the table and be fed a dentastix, the restaurants serves human food and is actually for humans, including small ones. Sometimes kids are loud. We would all have been loud as children. We have to co-exist with children because they are human beings. Our tolerance levels SHOULD be high. IME I shouldn't have to co-exist with other people's animals on confined spaces.

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 13:40

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop good attempt at trying to turn things around! You're the one who brought up disruption. I gave you an example of what disturbs me but where unlike you, I don't make a fuss over and accept that it's my issue and my responsibility to avoid.

By the way, bad example with the snake, I'll pick a snake over giggling women any day. Again though, whatever the establishment allies, I accept or avoid, I don't feel a need to impose my needs.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:41

@LST

Letting a snake slither round is not having it under control so you'd be being a dick doing that
But the point was it isn't disruptive IME because domesticated snakes are mostly very harmless. Hey it's not my problem of someone else is being super sensitive and not accepting my scale baby into their personal space. Snake haters should just fuck off
vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 13:41

IME dogs rarely do that in restaurants. Only on MN are dogs always so still
For someone who doesn't like dogs, it's amazing how much you've experienced eating in restaurants around dogs,clearly much more often than me, who has one, and enjoy eating in places with dogs. Your experience must be much more real than mine!

TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 13:42

@claralara42

Why do you think you should be making the rules about what happens on somebody else's property, when your rules conflict with those of the owner of that property?

People are always trying to make rules about their property, doesn't mean we all have to like it or accept it. Businesses used to be able to make all kinds of rules that society decided were not acceptable to make, and we over-ruled their rights to do so. No reason it shouldn't be done to keep animals out of human spaces.

Yes. They get over ruled if they're deemed dangerous or discriminatory or if they're unpopular.

Have you seen www.keepdogsoutofpubs.co.uk?

No, me neither. There is no uproar, there is no campaign. There are people who agree with you, sure. But in such a minority that you can't expect the majority to change. There are provisions made for your minority. There are plenty of places that don't allow dogs. There are even more places who say dogs are ok but only in a certain area.

The world does not belong to your preferences or medical conditions, and nor does it belong to mine. You're right, we don't have to like it or accept it. But we do have to live with it and, as individuals, take care of our own needs.

No reason it shouldn't be done to keep animals out of human spaces

If you need this, campaign for it. I wonder how many letters you've written to the council? I wonder how many landlords you've told 'I won't bring money to your till because you allow dogs in'?

None, I imagine. Because you like to sit on MN and gripe at people who are living well within the rules and who are not in charge of making the rules, about the rules. All of the things you say on here to argue your point will get you nowhere, because all that will happen is some form of 'I disagree' from some strangers. The rules still don't suit you. The change you want is still happening backwards, whilst the rest of us continue to take our dogs to pubs and restaurants.

LizzieW1969 · 06/07/2021 13:42

I've seen a lot more insult throwing from the no-dog brigade if I am honest.

No, I’d say it’s honours even really.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:43

@vivainsomnia so not only are you repulsed by children but women enjoying themselves. 😂😂😂

Proves my point how crazy dog people are not fit to be around humans.

I'm disengaging because these ridiculous claims and comparisons are wasting my time.

But FWIW - children are not the same as dogs. It's sociopathic to systematically hate types of people. It's understandable if people hate animals that terrify them or who ca make them ill.

Learn to the difference before behaving with humans please

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:44

@vivainsomnia

IME dogs rarely do that in restaurants. Only on MN are dogs always so still For someone who doesn't like dogs, it's amazing how much you've experienced eating in restaurants around dogs,clearly much more often than me, who has one, and enjoy eating in places with dogs. Your experience must be much more real than mine!
Disliking dogs doesn't mean they puff up into smoke the second I'm nearby so not sure why you think o wouldn't have experienced them in restaurants.

You're probably the manager from that restaurants who told his waitress off as I helped her nurse a bloody nose after she tripped on a bolting dogs lead.

LST · 06/07/2021 13:45

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop But my dog lying under the table isn't disruptive either. But if I started playing fetch with him I kinda think it would be. Your example doesn't make any sense.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:46

I'm certainly not bothered enough to start a campaign. I just vote with my feet and wallet. But I would object to a dog being on spaces that people NEED to be in like shop Italy and surgeries (assistance dogs exempt of course)

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 13:46

Toddlers are humans and can't just sit under the table and be fed a dentastix, the restaurants serves human food and is actually for humans, including small ones. Sometimes kids are loud. We would all have been loud as children. We have to co-exist with children because they are human beings. Our tolerance levels SHOULD be high. IME I shouldn't have to co-exist with other people's animals on confined spaces
So bottom line, the disturbance parents cause by misbehaving toddlers has to be tolerated whilst well behaved dogs don't. I don't care that toddlers are humans beings, they sadly often behaved like feral animals. I accept them not because I think they have a right to disturb me but because I accept that my disturbances are my issues.

I am not self-centered believing the world revolves around my needs and what is important to me. I've been taught to tolerate differences.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:47

[quote LST]@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop But my dog lying under the table isn't disruptive either. But if I started playing fetch with him I kinda think it would be. Your example doesn't make any sense. [/quote]
Until it gets bored and starts bothering people or bolts out for some random reason like the dog I saw so meaning the poor waitress went flying. That dog had just been sitting under the table too until then.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:49

@vivainsomnia

Toddlers are humans and can't just sit under the table and be fed a dentastix, the restaurants serves human food and is actually for humans, including small ones. Sometimes kids are loud. We would all have been loud as children. We have to co-exist with children because they are human beings. Our tolerance levels SHOULD be high. IME I shouldn't have to co-exist with other people's animals on confined spaces So bottom line, the disturbance parents cause by misbehaving toddlers has to be tolerated whilst well behaved dogs don't. I don't care that toddlers are humans beings, they sadly often behaved like feral animals. I accept them not because I think they have a right to disturb me but because I accept that my disturbances are my issues.

I am not self-centered believing the world revolves around my needs and what is important to me. I've been taught to tolerate differences.

You don't "accept" toddlers because you're not higher than them in the pecking order of who should be in a restaurant.

Humans are higher in the pecking order than dogs.

I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen toddlers be 'feral' and I'm mindful it could be because of SEN. It could also be shitty parenting but it rarely amounts to more than a bit of noise which is annoying, but meh that's life.

And I have heard pf people being told to control their children in restaurants.

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 13:50

Disliking dogs doesn't mean they puff up into smoke the second I'm nearby so not sure why you think o wouldn't have experienced them in restaurants
So you don't like dogs in restaurants but you choose to go and eat in them often enough to have a reliable view on how badly behaved dogs are Grin

And no, I'm certain not the manager of a restaurant. Just the owner of a well behaved dog that has as much her place in a dog friendly restaurant as anyone else.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:51

I am not self-centered believing the world revolves around my needs and what is important to me. I've been taught to tolerate differences.

Lol at this. You've spent dozens of posts talking about how your dogs rights are more important than anyone else's and if other people don't like it then your dog trumps them.

You've also been alarmingly dismissive of people with fears, allergies, and small children.

Very tolerant indeed 🤣🤣

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 13:52

@vivainsomnia

Disliking dogs doesn't mean they puff up into smoke the second I'm nearby so not sure why you think o wouldn't have experienced them in restaurants So you don't like dogs in restaurants but you choose to go and eat in them often enough to have a reliable view on how badly behaved dogs are Grin

And no, I'm certain not the manager of a restaurant. Just the owner of a well behaved dog that has as much her place in a dog friendly restaurant as anyone else.

As stated earlier, i would avoid a dog friendly place like the plague - but any occasion I've ended up eating in one it's been because I wasn't aware and either loads of u were turning up or dogs turned up half way through the meal.

Not that I should have to explain that as it's quite clear and obvious

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 13:52

Humans are higher in the pecking order than dogs
And who is higher than you on tou pecking order? Do you systematically make way for them, just because they are higher there?