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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs in Restaurants

916 replies

IDontGetOutMuch · 04/07/2021 20:05

Took my mum out to lunch today. It was a nice enough place-£25 per head.
Have expectations changed with regard to dogs in restaurants? There were four other tables in our section and three had a dog with them.
Two of them barked at least three times during the meal. One jumped up at a waitress carrying puddings to another table, paws on her apron. One jumped up at the table wanting to be fed. One was petted by another waitress who then went straight to a table to take orders without washing hands. One was lying in the way so that I had to ask the owner to move it to allow my mother to get through with her Walker.
We had a dog when I was a child. He never went to a restaurant. What about people with allergies?
Is it okay that they do? Do I need to get over myself? I tried to compare to children. I expect my children to cause no disturbance to others at a restaurant and to stay at the table. We expected this even when they were little and actually rarely went to restaurants anyway.

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 10:28

you don't have the right to dismiss anyone's fear allergies of inconveniences

Everybody has the right to dismiss everybody's fear of anything. If we all have the right to have our fears and inconveniences respected, I will say this, @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop:

Your comments inconvenience me, so you have to respect that, and stop making them.

See how ridiculous it is? My inconvenience (or allergy or phobia or anything) doesn't put me in charge of you. Your inconvenience (or allergy or phobia or anything) doesn't put you in charge of me. So, as long as nobody is breaking any rules or laws, we're all just going to have to deal with each others irritating habits.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:29

@rantymcrantface66

So you would care that an under control dog was waiting patiently beside its human but not if it was running around you worried because it had broken loose and couldn't find it's human or you had to walk by an unattended dog?
I don't care if people's dogs go missing. That's their fault and responsibility if it happens.

I do care that other people have to tolerate allergies and phobias because some entitles loons think their fur baby has the equivalent of human rights.

I've said it before on here but I avoid crazy dog people like the plague. I find these people to despise humans and be very unpleasant in general. There's a reason they prefer sentient, slightly dumb and obedient --because they need to be fed and not because they love your sparking personality's a beings above those who push back a little.

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 10:30

Legally you are welcome to patronise establishment provided you behave reasonably and respect others. Which I'm not sure judging by your posts that you're capable of doing when it comes to your dog
Of course not, it must be a miracle that I've never once experienced any issues taking my dog with me, never had the slightest complaint, only comments about what a cute well-behaved dog I have.

You dog haters however seem to find yourself in regular conflicts. I wonder why!

rantymcrantface66 · 06/07/2021 10:32

@Lockheart

*I don't care if the restaurant says your dog can be there, I don't think they should be giving your that option. In more civilised countries, dogs are not allowed in restaurants. That's how it should be.*

That's a statement of opinion, not fact. And what options the restaurant gives you is up to the restaurant, not you. Other establishments are available if you don't like their particular policy.

What do you mean by more civilised countries? Grin- which countries do you deem more civilised? Because there are plenty incredibly civilised countries that are far more dog friendly than the UK. Friends in Germany and Sweden can take their small dogs as carry on on to a plane.
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:32

@TheFoundations

you don't have the right to dismiss anyone's fear allergies of inconveniences

Everybody has the right to dismiss everybody's fear of anything. If we all have the right to have our fears and inconveniences respected, I will say this, @FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop:

Your comments inconvenience me, so you have to respect that, and stop making them.

See how ridiculous it is? My inconvenience (or allergy or phobia or anything) doesn't put me in charge of you. Your inconvenience (or allergy or phobia or anything) doesn't put you in charge of me. So, as long as nobody is breaking any rules or laws, we're all just going to have to deal with each others irritating habits.

How very empathetic of you.

But pardon me if I don't take seriously the views of a person who thinks they have a right to dismiss someone's medical condition.

TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 10:33

I've said it before on here but I avoid crazy dog people like the plague

Problem solved! That's exactly what the dog lovers here are advising you to do. Dog in a pub? Avoid! Dog in a Post Office? Avoid!

It's good to see you've taken it on board. I thought you were never going to get it.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:34

@vivainsomnia

Legally you are welcome to patronise establishment provided you behave reasonably and respect others. Which I'm not sure judging by your posts that you're capable of doing when it comes to your dog Of course not, it must be a miracle that I've never once experienced any issues taking my dog with me, never had the slightest complaint, only comments about what a cute well-behaved dog I have.

You dog haters however seem to find yourself in regular conflicts. I wonder why!

Because of people like you who think their tiny henchman have the rights above humans to do anything. We get pissed of with it because it's unreasonable.

This thread really does prove my earlier point that these kind of entitled "dog people" are pretty awful as humans

TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 10:35

If you're talking about empathy, you need to look to yourself first. You are ranting and ranting about how people shouldn't be doing perfectly normal things that are allowed, how they need to be considering you more.

You are not considering them.

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 10:35

in the same breath I can say I don't like your dog, I'm entitled to be in the PO as a paying customer and you don't have the right to dismiss anyone's fear allergies of inconveniences. Therefore my rights trump yours.
You have the sane right to be there, absolutely. You have no right to expect me to leave because if you. Why is this so hard to understand? If you don't want to be there whilst I am, then wait. Or ask me kindly to wait if you really can't.

And please no more of that crap about having an allergy attack being there 10 minutes after my non shedding dog has been when no-one has confirmed that they'd expect the farmer with his coat full of dog hair not to step in the shop either!

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:36

@TheFoundations

I've said it before on here but I avoid crazy dog people like the plague

Problem solved! That's exactly what the dog lovers here are advising you to do. Dog in a pub? Avoid! Dog in a Post Office? Avoid!

It's good to see you've taken it on board. I thought you were never going to get it.

Let me clarify - though I thought it was obvious. I avoid dog people to be my friends and acquaintances. I avoid dog friendly pubs and restaurants because I don't want to be round dogs when I eat out. There are other places I can go to.

I should not have to avoid places where I have to be and there's no alternative - ie shops and post offices, doctors surgeries etc. Because frankly my rights should always come above any animals. As should the rights of us all.

People who can't see this should seriously not make friends with other humans, they don't have the empathetic capacity to have those kind of healthy relationships

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:37

YOU are the one bringing a dog into places. Not me. You are the one thinking you're special so the onus is on YOU to remove your dog if it makes others your impinging on unhappy.

I'm only bringing myself.

Simple isn't it

TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 10:37

their tiny henchman

This is hilarious! Grin Grin

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:38

@vivainsomnia as I said I used to work in A&E and server allergy reactions area thing. Sorry if that's inconvenient to you. And as people have said, it's not the fur that's the issue.

HTH

claralara42 · 06/07/2021 10:39

Isn't it interesting that when you say you don't like dogs, the dog people turn that into "dog haters" every time? As if dislike is the same thing as hate? The hyperbole is insane.
We don't care about you and your dogs enough to hate them. We just want you all to go away.

vivainsomnia · 06/07/2021 10:39

This thread really does prove my earlier point that these kind of entitled "dog people" are pretty awful as humans
And I think the exact opposite and this thread proves it.

I did say that if I was ask kindly I would go out but oh no, it's not good enough. My dog has to be left outside at risk of being stollen just because someone isn't prepared to smile and ask something pleasantly.

As said, my experience in real life is thankfully nothing like here. People are usually nice and don't need so much drama in their life.

claralara42 · 06/07/2021 10:41

People are usually nice and don't need so much drama in their life

Yes, they are very nice, so they don't tell you how uncomfortable you have made them. But you don't consider that people may be too nice to say it to you, because you are not very nice.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:41

@claralara42

Isn't it interesting that when you say you don't like dogs, the dog people turn that into "dog haters" every time? As if dislike is the same thing as hate? The hyperbole is insane. We don't care about you and your dogs enough to hate them. We just want you all to go away.
Precisely
rantymcrantface66 · 06/07/2021 10:41

The dog friendly people are happy though that there is provision for all, that there is a balance of dog friendly and non dog friendly places so everyone can be catered for. I have sympathy with those with severe allergies and phobias and glad there are plenty dog free places they can go. It's only a small number of dog haters that want the entire world to be adjusted to suit their personal opinions or fears and you think we are the ones who are entitled and unreasonable?....

TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 10:42

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

YOU are the one bringing a dog into places. Not me. You are the one thinking you're special so the onus is on YOU to remove your dog if it makes others your impinging on unhappy.

I'm only bringing myself.

Simple isn't it

It really is. I am the one respecting the rules of the establishment. You are the one who thinks they have the right to over ride those rules.

You do not have the right to over ride them. If you think you do, approach the management with your list of conditions. Don't start having a go at people who are respecting the rules.

That's the question, really: Why do you think you have the right to re-write the rules that a business owner has made regarding who they are happy to accept onto their private premises?

rantymcrantface66 · 06/07/2021 10:43

We don't care about you and your dogs enough to hate them. We just want you all to go away

Because indifferent people wound just ignore dogs, this sounds very much like active hatred. And laughing at saying that is hyperbole when people have been comparing dogs to bears, crocodiles and vermin on this thread 🤣

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:43

@vivainsomnia

This thread really does prove my earlier point that these kind of entitled "dog people" are pretty awful as humans And I think the exact opposite and this thread proves it.

I did say that if I was ask kindly I would go out but oh no, it's not good enough. My dog has to be left outside at risk of being stollen just because someone isn't prepared to smile and ask something pleasantly.

As said, my experience in real life is thankfully nothing like here. People are usually nice and don't need so much drama in their life.

Drama is not wanting to be around dogs you fear or are allergic to Confused

And no given your sense of entitlement - and proxy entitlement on behalf of your dog - I don't believe for a minute you'd leave. You've said several times that your dog's right to be there's trumps anyone else's and if they don't like it tough.

Although it is Interesting that you say you would leave providing someone asked in basically a way that's begging and pleading with you. Speaks volumes about your entitlement and how you elevate yourself above others

claralara42 · 06/07/2021 10:44

All I can see here is "blah blah blah my dog is more important, I want my doggy in the shops with me, fuck you".

Luckily most people with dogs are not doggy-crazy weirdos and wouldn't dream of bringing their dogs everywhere.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:44

It really is. I am the one respecting the rules of the establishment. You are the one who thinks they have the right to over ride those rules.

Lol the rule is not "bring a dog". The rule is - like with humans - "dogs welcome as long as they are well behaved, respect others, don't cause grief" etc. And as I am a HUMAN yes my rights always trump that of an animal.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 06/07/2021 10:46

@claralara42

All I can see here is "blah blah blah my dog is more important, I want my doggy in the shops with me, fuck you".

Luckily most people with dogs are not doggy-crazy weirdos and wouldn't dream of bringing their dogs everywhere.

It's the assumption that their dog has human rights that makes me laugh. That they think a place being "dog friendly" means the dog's rights trumps a human's.

These threads really truly always enforce my belief that crazy animal people, who prefer animals over humans, shouldn't be trusted

TheFoundations · 06/07/2021 10:47

@claralara42

People are usually nice and don't need so much drama in their life

Yes, they are very nice, so they don't tell you how uncomfortable you have made them. But you don't consider that people may be too nice to say it to you, because you are not very nice.

Nice people do actually respectfully make their feelings known.

Passive aggressive, repressed people don't say how they feel, and feel like victims to circumstance, as a result.

Perfectly demonstrated on this thread, by people who think that the world owes them a dog free existence, despite the fact that they live in a society where many people own dogs, and many more love dogs, and this is completely normal, as the human race has been doing this for well over 10000 years.