AIBU - Falling asleep on sofa?

[GetDownWithTheCygent]

So my OH has just had a massive go at me for falling asleep on the sofa, shouting and swearing. I think a complete over reaction but for context, we have a 3 year old DD and I’m 13 weeks pregnant with second child. I wake up early with DD each day, today at 8am, me and DD was out most of the day visiting family and only got home around 5pm. We was also stuck in traffic for an hour which made me more tired and DD did not want to sleep tonight and finally fell asleep about 10. So after coming down from upstairs at 10, I said to my OH that I was really tired today and he said to go to sleep. I felt guilty for going to sleep as we hadn’t seen each other all day or had any time on own together so I suggest watching a TV programme before bed. Anyways towards the end of the programme, I nodded off and he lost his temper and started swearing and shouting at me saying that I was a A hole etc and he had told me go to bed. He also thinks I fell asleep because it was a programme he had chosen and I wouldn’t have fallen asleep if I had chosen something I wanted to watch. AIBU? I just tried to spend sometime with him and it’s ended up in a massive row

He sounds like an absolute arsehole.

Sorry to tell you, but your dh is abusive. What boundaries are you willing to let him step Over. It’s unacceptable to swear and call your partner names. But you know that. Trust yourself

Your OH is a dickhead.

Sounds like a massive over reaction on his part - does he normally speak to you like that?
In my second pregnancy I always used to fall asleep on the sofa each evening as I was knackered looking after a toddler all day. In fact it’s not uncommon for me still not nod off while watching tv - it’s a standing joke in my house

What a disrespectful dick. Does he normally talk to you like that? If yes run for the hills.

No he doesn't usually speak to me like that. He was normal and then out of nowhere he just lost his temper and went mad at me. I didn't think I had done anything wrong but from the way he reacted, I wanted some others advice

You're pregnant and tired. Of course you'll fall asleep.

You havent done anything wrong. His behaviour is appalling. It's normal to fall asleep when youre tired.

He should be ashamed of himself, shouting and swearing at your pregnant partner is totally unacceptable.

That's outright abuse.

Are you seriously questioning whether falling asleep on the sofa warrants being shouted at and called an arsehole?

Is he normally respectful and understanding with you?

Ewwww

I think he needs to tell you what's eating him, because you didn't do anything wrong

He is a nasty person

YABU for even asking. Of course it’s not ok. Do something about it. What’s the consequence for him treating you like shit?

Maybe if he had actually got off his arse and helped with bedtime you might not have been so exhausted. What a dick.

He was absolutely wrong. You’re tired, you’re pregnant, your DD went to bed very late, you were trying to spend time with him.

Even if none of that was the case but you were tired, it’s your sofa too, you sleep on when you fucking want to.

DH and I used to often nod off on the sofa watching tv, it’s lovely. Took him ages to get used to doing it as his ex used to go nuts when he ever nodded off and would scream and shout at him if he did it. She was abusive too.

Obvious question alert:
Is it always you getting up with DD in the morning and putting her to bed at night? If so why?
Sounds as if you're not getting enough rest, and you need it more than ever when you're pregnant.
Difficult to comment on his reaction without more context about whether this is a one off or not, but on the face of it it's not good.
Maybe get this thread moved to relationships or start a new thread there. AIBU isn't the best for nuance when it comes to relationship advice!

If it’s out of character ask him in the morning and see if something is bothering him. He certainly should be apologetic though to you.

He's abusive you need to leave.

@Nextchapterofmybook

YABU for even asking. Of course it’s not ok. Do something about it. What’s the consequence for him treating you like shit?

You don’t think there’s a chance her asking indicates it’s not a good relationship? You don’t think being woken up by someone shouting abuse at you when you’re on your knees exhausted might be incredibly unsettling and make you feel like you’re going a bit mad?

It’s not her fault she’s upset and confused and asking for opinions.

Exh used to do this when I was exhausted and pregnant. Notice I said EX.

Every time I sat down in my first trimester I fell asleep it was utterly exhausting never mind with another dc to look after!

Completely reprehensible behaviour from your partner. If it was a one off then he needs to apologise and mean it. If it’s a regular occurrence then you need to make some hard choices about whether this is the right relationship for you to raise your children in.

It’s really nasty behaviour from him. Whatever was his problem he should not behave like this.

I suppose 2% who clicked that YABU did it by mistake.

My dh used to roll his eyes at me cos in my first few weeks of being pregnant l was in bed by 8pm every night but rolling your eyes in just is a different kettle of fish to swearing and shouting.
Op please don't tolerate this shit from him.

Places I've fallen asleep during first trimester of pregnancy

• the sofa
• the nursery floor
• curled up on the living room floor
• the bath (for a second and then I realised & got out!)
• car journeys at any time of day

Only comments from DH were to ask whether I wanted him to wake me to relocate to the bed in most instances and ask me to not risk baths for a while. Shouting at you and calling you an asshole just reflects on him. Pregnancy is so exhausting and instead of being sympathetic he thinks you did it on purpose to spite him? He's a dick.

and what the fuck had he been doing all day?

Pregnant or not, busy or not. You're a grown adult, if you want a sleep you should be able to have one