Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unflattering photo

86 replies

Wonmoretime · 03/07/2021 19:04

First day of holiday with DH. UK seaside resort, walking along the front, stop for a drink outside a nice bar. It’s a bit windswept and we’re in jeans. He takes a photo of our drinks and posts to social media. We Get back to the hotel and I have lots of Facebook notifications; he’s tagged me in the picture and what I thought was a snap of our drinks shows me hunched over table looking a real state, it has elicited a lot of laughs and ‘witty’ comments. AIBU to be cross and make him delete it off FB?

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 03/07/2021 19:06

That’s really mean, I’d make him take it down.

Rotten sod. What did he do that for?

Hellocatshome · 03/07/2021 19:07

Is he normally a twat?

championthewonderhorse70 · 03/07/2021 19:07

In what way do you look a state?
Just windswept or actually a state
My DH took one of me sleeping earlier and I almost cried.

Susannahmoody · 03/07/2021 19:08

Tell him to remove it

MadeForThis · 03/07/2021 19:08

I'd grab an unflattering photo of him and post it with a witty comment.

Make a joke out of it.

MrsMcTats · 03/07/2021 19:10

YANBU - I hate it when people tag me in photos. I now have it set so I have to approve the tag before it shows on my timeline, which limits the spread slightly! I find people post pics where they look great and don't care that you look like shit. I'm very considerate on the rare occasion I post, to make sure that everyone would be happy with the shot.

MouldyPotato · 03/07/2021 19:16

Why would he do that?

grapewine · 03/07/2021 19:18

That's pretty shitty.

Original poster
Wonmoretime · 03/07/2021 19:20

Hair messy, no makeup, looking a bit tired. He thought it was ‘ natural looking’ . It’s been taken down now, normally I would make a joke of it but I haven’t been feeling great recently. We’re going out for food soon and I’ll probably be dressed up a bit, just wish he’d take photos when I have made an effort.

OP posts:
Eleoura · 03/07/2021 19:21

Why would he post any personal photos on social media???

MagnoliaBeige · 03/07/2021 19:22

@Eleoura

Why would he post any personal photos on social media???
Do you not know how social media works?
iklboo · 03/07/2021 19:24

Why would he post any personal photos on social media???

Erm???

OP - Wait till he's asleep with his mouth open drooling, take a pic & post it. See how funny he finds it.

Original poster
Wonmoretime · 03/07/2021 19:24

@MrsMcTats, I have got FB set so that it doesn’t show on my timeline but even without that too many people saw it. I’m glad people don’t think I’m overreacting.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2021 19:26

I'm worse than Naomi Campbell for vetting pictures that get posted. I can look great or like a curried tomato left in the sun too long.

SilenceOfTheNaans · 03/07/2021 19:26

I hate this and would never post a photo of anyone without checking in with them first.

My Mum is so bad for this. She actually wasn't happy with me the last time I saw her because I didn't want my photo taken. I'd been out with the dog so wasn't remotely dressed up, no make up and generally wasn't feeling great about the way I looked. I mean I felt fine but not photo fine. She repeatedly asked why I didn't want my photo taken and infront of others and it really took every ounce of restraint to not just tell her to bugger off.

Tell him to get it down and to not be so inconsiderate in future.

Also those people commenting horrible things should fuck right off. Dickheads.

Daisychaincarrot · 03/07/2021 19:26

Ffs the man loves you. I hate to tel you this…but you spent the whole day looking like this unflattering photo and yet he thinks you’re beautiful and wants to share the photo. YABU

SilenceOfTheNaans · 03/07/2021 19:28

Sorry just seen its down. I'm glad he took it down for you x

girlmom21 · 03/07/2021 19:29

Did he do it in good faith, like didn't realise you wouldn't like it? I think it's nice that he made the effort to take a picture - just crap that he took one where you don't feel you look nice.

Brefugee · 03/07/2021 19:31

tell him to delete it. It is really not on to post pictures of people without their consent.

redcarbluecar · 03/07/2021 19:32

I wouldn’t like this either; I’d ask him to take it down

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/07/2021 19:32

YANBU. He should respect your wishes and insecurities.

I hate photographs. That’s why I don’t post any selfies on Instagram. I’d probably get banned for scaring everyone away. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I get no one is going to come on and say I look like just super Modelle, but I really do look like a sea monster on camera.
It doesn’t matter about angles lightening.
It doesn’t help that everyone seems to look gorgeous😩.

burnoutbabe · 03/07/2021 19:34

We post loads of pics of our food but if the other person is appearing, more than just the bottom of their top, it gets checked before uploading. Surely that's the minimum you expect from a partner?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/07/2021 19:34

What effort is there in taking a picture@girlmon21. Am I missing somethingConfused

BakedTattie · 03/07/2021 19:36

Aw he obviously thought you looked good. He loves you and wants to show you off. I doubt he was trying intentionally to embarrass you - unless he’s a total wank.

Thehenbunringsock · 03/07/2021 19:37

I don't get overly upset about this sort of thing anymore. It used to really bother me but what you think is a nice photo on SM actually looks nothing like you in real life and the people who know you in real life see you at your best, worst and unfiltered all the time so they've probably seen that 'unflattering' image of you more times than you realise.

That being said, if it's detrimental to your self esteem then YANBU to ask him to take it down and of course YANBU to be unhappy with a photo or yourself.