Unflattering photo

[Wonmoretime]

First day of holiday with DH. UK seaside resort, walking along the front, stop for a drink outside a nice bar. It’s a bit windswept and we’re in jeans. He takes a photo of our drinks and posts to social media. We Get back to the hotel and I have lots of Facebook notifications; he’s tagged me in the picture and what I thought was a snap of our drinks shows me hunched over table looking a real state, it has elicited a lot of laughs and ‘witty’ comments. AIBU to be cross and make him delete it off FB?

Would like people to have a better understanding that there is a difference between vanity and confidence.

I thought you wanted people to piss off?
You actually want posters to agree with you and are disputing other POV

It's a bit mean. Ask him to remove it. Someone i know does this kind of thing - they take deliberately unflattering shots and then show them off to family members for giggles, bitching and oneupmanship.

But deliberately taking an unflattering photo isn’t this scenario
Purposefully posting an unflattering photo taken to elicit derision is mean
The op partner didn’t do that. He took a spontaneous photo during a meal
It’s not her sans towel stepping out shower or her jet lagged in bed

RamItBunty

I would like people to not disregard the OPs valid feelings as "being vain". And yes to piss off with the assumptions and put downs that's she's vain.

You’ve reiterated that you want people to piss off. What does that actually add to the thread.?Saying it once was sufficient, it doesn’t need reinforcement

Dp and I don't post photos of ourselves or of each other on social media but if we did, we'd definitely check that the other one was happy with the picture first. I've deleted photos off my phone that dp didn't like and nobody would have even seen those apart from ourselves and our dd.

It was very thoughtless of your dh to post and tag you without checking first and unkind of your friends to make mean "jokey" comments.

I think the tagging thing should stop. Nobody should post another person's photo without their permission.

RamItBunty

You asked hth

I Asked what? Silence

I hate this too, I’m not a big picture poster anyway, my friend insisted on posting awful pictures of me, eyes shut or mouth open next to a good shot of her. When I told her off, she said I looked fine and was overreacting .I Don’t allow her to take any now which really annoys her.

I thought you wanted people to piss off?

I answered you're question. Anyway not the point of the thread so will leave this there. I've said all I had to say on the matter.

Your friend purposefully chose unflattering picture in comparison to her looking hot. That’s a purposeful act and meanspirited . It bears no relation to a partner posting a spontaneous picture from a meal
It’s markedly different One photo is set up with an agenda
The other photo is spontaneous no agenda

@girlmom21 I agree about men never taking pictures as I'm always complaining to my OH that I'm the only one whoever takes the pictures. It is nice her husband took a picture as my OH would never have thought to do so. Just unfortunate that he posted on social media before checking with op first.

My DH once put up a photo of me asleep with a drool patch thought it was really funny apparently. He now just doesn't put up photos "as it's not worth the hassle" because it takes ages to get one I approve

Colleague partner sent a photo of her immediately post labour to all her workmates
That was obviously a big mistake. In his defence He was so excited and just wanted to share the moment

Just ask him to take a photo this evening when you're sparkling and made up, and post that one.

OP is it possible that he thinks you look nice when you’re a bit wind blown with no make up? I think it’s good that he’s happy to share a natural shot rather than a posed artificial looking one.

And it’s nice to share a pic where you’re on holiday having fun. Life isn’t all about looking glamorous (fortunately).

@ZombeaArthur

I had a friend who only posted the most carefully selected, heavily edited photos of herself, but would happily post incredibly unflattering pictures of someone else. They’d have a mouthful of food or eyes half closed, just really bad photos that looked nothing like them. I think she was completely blind to how others appeared in photos, which is weird considering how particular she was about herself.

I think you're very naive if you think she wasn't aware of that.

I have my FB set so I have to approve any tagged photos before they can appear on my timeline.

On the other hand, you probably didn't want that posting on his own page either.

[quote Wonmoretime]@MrsMcTats, I have got FB set so that it doesn’t show on my timeline but even without that too many people saw it. I’m glad people don’t think I’m overreacting.[/quote]
only if they were friends of your husband too though ?

I'm fed up with seeing pictures of people looking "perfect" instead of natural - everyone has their "selfie face with a smile that won't crack the make-up" so everyone looks exactly the same in every picture - the only thing that changes is the background.

I do hate it when that happens to me (which is all the time when I'm at a running event, I'm a very overweight runner and the club pics are a disgrace), so I understand where you're coming from. However, is there a chance he wouldn't have realised you felt like you looked a state? Because he loves you, and through eyes you're just you! He isn't judging you by sleep or make up, to him this is just a photo of the woman he loves.

@Biblionerd

I do hate it when that happens to me (which is all the time when I'm at a running event, I'm a very overweight runner and the club pics are a disgrace), so I understand where you're coming from. However, is there a chance he wouldn't have realised you felt like you looked a state? Because he loves you, and through eyes you're just you! He isn't judging you by sleep or make up, to him this is just a photo of the woman he loves.

This is what I was trying to say, but Biblionerd puts it much better! It’s just a photo of the woman he loves.

If he realised you wouldn't like it then that's mean.

But if he genuinely didn't even think about it then I wouldn't take it to heart too much.

My DP in every single picture of me will say 'I love that photo of you' even when I know I look like shite. So he's either being nice or generally means it. Either way, he doesn't have SM so can't post them! .