Unflattering photo

[Wonmoretime]

First day of holiday with DH. UK seaside resort, walking along the front, stop for a drink outside a nice bar. It’s a bit windswept and we’re in jeans. He takes a photo of our drinks and posts to social media. We Get back to the hotel and I have lots of Facebook notifications; he’s tagged me in the picture and what I thought was a snap of our drinks shows me hunched over table looking a real state, it has elicited a lot of laughs and ‘witty’ comments. AIBU to be cross and make him delete it off FB?

Thanks @Biblionerdand @DuckonaBike. To everyone else I am a first time poster and just wanted to let off steam. No , he’s not usually a twat and no I’m not vain. I rarely bother with makeup etc but like to think I look more presentable when I make the effort. DH genuinely thought it was an okay picture but fwiw it was deleted as soon as I asked him and it’s been replaced with some I have approved !!

I'd be flattered that he must of thought you looked good, even if you feel a mess

It depends on whether just thought it was a nice ‘natural’ shot of you, the woman he loves, or whether he wanted to embarrass you.

I have one friend who is really self-conscious about photos online and goes absolutely screaming mad if she’s in anyone’s photos on social media that she hasn’t vetted. The ones she put up of herself are so heavily edited that you’d walk past her in the street without recognising her from them. We try to take photos without her in them when we’re all out together to avoid the issue but she likes to be included and always jumps in photos making silly faces as we’re all smiling … then goes mad if we want to share any of them. I think it’s a drag to be honest! You look how you look! I have a mix of photos, some posed all dressed up but mostly me without makeup running around looking bedraggled in the background of something DH was trying to photograph. It is what it is - that’s what I honestly look like so who actually cares?!

This would hack me off. No one posts a picture to FB without me seeing it first. Most look fine, but there have been a couple of awful ones, so I want to see them first.

@Pogacar

I have one friend who is really self-conscious about photos online and goes absolutely screaming mad if she’s in anyone’s photos on social media that she hasn’t vetted. The ones she put up of herself are so heavily edited that you’d walk past her in the street without recognising her from them. We try to take photos without her in them when we’re all out together to avoid the issue but she likes to be included and always jumps in photos making silly faces as we’re all smiling … then goes mad if we want to share any of them. I think it’s a drag to be honest! You look how you look! I have a mix of photos, some posed all dressed up but mostly me without makeup running around looking bedraggled in the background of something DH was trying to photograph. It is what it is - that’s what I honestly look like so who actually cares?!

This would majorly piss me off, how has no one just told her straight to get out of the photos?! 😂

With your background and context OP, it sounds as this is simply a case of DH liking a photo and you not, rather than anything malicious so that’s good, but I do know how you feel and would’ve probably reacted the same way.
I’m not a bad looking person, but I have a lazy eye which can look truly terrible in photos (imo!). DH never seems to notice it but does check with me before ever posting anything, v rare that he posts anyway but still, as he knows it upsets me a bit when it does look awful. He doesn’t care, doesn’t notice it etc but it’s how you feel yourself.
Enjoy your holiday 😊

This made me smile! My DP loves cameras and treated himself to an apparently very good one. Bloody thing takes everything in high def. I almost cried when I saw the pictures. I was under the illusion that I looked ok for my age. Passable at least. There is now irrefutable evidence that I am a wrinkled old crone with a saggy backside. My backside was always my best feature too! It looks fine in the mirror, but the pictures say otherwise

So I get it! Glad he deleted it.

If he genuinely thought it looked nice and windswept then fine.

If it made other people laugh then that seems less likely really?

I would make sure he knows that it has upset you and made you feel ridiculed for your appearance at a time when you haven't felt great for a bit.

Also consider deleting the people who were laughing at the pic.

@Pogacar

I have one friend who is really self-conscious about photos online and goes absolutely screaming mad if she’s in anyone’s photos on social media that she hasn’t vetted. The ones she put up of herself are so heavily edited that you’d walk past her in the street without recognising her from them. We try to take photos without her in them when we’re all out together to avoid the issue but she likes to be included and always jumps in photos making silly faces as we’re all smiling … then goes mad if we want to share any of them. I think it’s a drag to be honest! You look how you look! I have a mix of photos, some posed all dressed up but mostly me without makeup running around looking bedraggled in the background of something DH was trying to photograph. It is what it is - that’s what I honestly look like so who actually cares?!

How annoying!

Maybe next time you see her just say 'These photos will definitely be going on social media, so get out of them if you don't want to be because we won't be taking them down'.