To feel uncomfortable with celebrity surrogacy?

[Username91]

After reading about Amber Herd having a baby girl via surrogate it just got me thinking about the amount of famous people who have children this way. I have nothing against surrogacy, it just seems to me that a lot of rich women choose to have children this way and I’m not convinced they ALL have problems carrying children themselves. I find it a bit disturbing and wondered if I’m alone in thinking this?

Once again I’d like to point out I’m not surrogacy bashing here. I just don’t think it should be something that is used by women with money as they don’t like the idea of carrying their own babies, of course it’s very different for women who struggle to conceive/carry themselves.

Let's be real, they do not want to have their body changed by a pregnancy so they are getting a poorer woman to have their child.

They get the baby and to keep their slim bodies which doesn't have stretch marks, incontinence and all the other stuff we risk when we get pregnant and give birth.

What it does it create a class system where women who have given birth are seen as lesser and undesirable.

[quote Moorelewis]@PurpleDaisies your decision. As it was my cousins decision to be a surrogate for her sister.[/quote]
You totally missed the point of my post these.

I can totally understand the desire for a baby. But I do worry about the exploitative side of commercial surrogacy.
I don't think you should be able to buy someone to gestate a child to order.

@Comedycook I'm talking about your patronising phrase 'I'm lost for words', because someone disagrees with your opinion.

I feel uncomfortable about it. I understand if someone cannot carry a child, that they may prefer surrogacy to adoption. But I do find it weird when someone who is perfectly able to carry a child chooses to use a surrogate.

[quote Moorelewis]@Comedycook I'm talking about your patronising phrase 'I'm lost for words', because someone disagrees with your opinion.[/quote]
Because I'm baffled that anyone would think paying a doctor to perform ivf is the same as paying a woman to use her womb.

Really not seeing that equivalence either

I was on the fence about surrogacy but reading about it and listening to stories of people who’ve been surrogates has been eye opening.

I don’t think the effects on the children are considered. We’ve learned a lot about the damaging effects of adoption. And our views as a society reflect this (eg it’s not acceptable to kidnap dc of minority ethnic groups or sell the dc of of unmarried women) yet we embrace surrogacy. Celebrity endorsement helps drive that acceptance.

I was listening to an interview with a woman who had been a surrogate four times, and was very positive about her choices, but it was a heart breaking listen. She wasn’t criticising the companies she worked with but her story was very unsettling. At one point she availed of psychiatric support and then went on to have more babies to ease the burden of guilt and failure she carried. I suspect that an independent psychiatrist, who wasn’t being paid by a surrogacy company, might have explored those feelings further.

I don't know how I feel about the rights and wrongs of surrogacy but I don't see a difference between a rich celebrity doing it and anyone else.

Because I'm baffled that anyone would think paying a doctor to perform ivf is the same as paying a woman to use her womb.

Exactly. All the risk and pain of ivf was mine. Totally different.

@Comedycook I don't understand how someone considers it morally right to 'pay' for IVF, when it involves the use of another woman's eggs. Eggs that you will not be biologically related to. Often the egg donor receives compensation for this, and may have not considered egg donation if they weren't financially poor. Yet a family or close friend offering to be a surrogate for someone who has no way of having children, is wrong.

@PurpleDaisies because you had that option! Not everyone has the option of IVF.

There is no acceptable price on a human life.

It's absolutely revolting.

Moorelewis

@Comedycook I'm talking about your patronising phrase 'I'm lost for words', because someone disagrees with your opinion.

Yes, because telling someone to ‘get off their high horse isn’t patronising at all is it?
Hypocrite.

@Beefcurtains79 have I touched a nerve?

At what point does it become trafficking to pay for a child?
Six months? One year?

[quote Moorelewis]@PurpleDaisies because you had that option! Not everyone has the option of IVF.[/quote]
I had that option on the NHS. I didn’t pay. My own eggs.

How on earth is that same as surrogacy?

No, what does that even mean?
I don’t have a surrogate or a high horse!

you are not involved in their lives.
why do you even care?

YABVU

[quote Moorelewis]@Comedycook I don't understand how someone considers it morally right to 'pay' for IVF, when it involves the use of another woman's eggs. Eggs that you will not be biologically related to. Often the egg donor receives compensation for this, and may have not considered egg donation if they weren't financially poor. Yet a family or close friend offering to be a surrogate for someone who has no way of having children, is wrong.[/quote]
I do not agree with buying another woman's eggs either.

And yes, I'm against all surrogacy including altruistic surrogacy

@Moorelewis

All the people saying surrogacy is essentially 'buying a baby', then what is IVF?

I’m not against surrogacy but have some ethical qualms about current systems. The difference I’d say though is that IVF is buying the opportunity to be pregnant with a child. You are essentially taking personal responsibility for the risks involved with carrying a child.

@Comedycook well that's your opinion. If someone close to me ever found themselves in the situation where they couldn't carry their own children, I would offer to be a surrogate for them. I couldn't care less what anyone thinks about that.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

you are not involved in their lives. why do you even care?

YABVU

By that logic no-one would be bothered about human trafficking or modern slavery.

We all should be concerned about the exploitation of other people. I am concerned about women being exploited in surrogacy arrangements.

YANBU to be uncomfortable with surrogacy.
YABVU to speculate about whether or not any woman may have fertility problems, it is incredibly common. I have more than one or two friends/acquaintances/family members who have struggled.

I’m opposed to surrogacy. The fact that it is AH makes no difference to me.