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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you do this for your DH?

313 replies

LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 11:30

My DH has managed to get 9 points on his drivers license for speeding offences, I however in my 36 years have never managed any.

He asked me if I would have the next set of points put on my drivers license otherwise he will lose his license (in other words say it was me driving). I told him to f off and to learn how to stick to the speed limit- I can managed it so why can't he?

AIBU about this, he reckons 3 points on my license wont make much difference but I am in the process of having a CRB check done (applied to study nursing) and don't want any criminal offences although I know they don't take driving offences too seriously, but still.

He is in a major mood with me atm. AIBU about not wanting someone elses points on my license? especially as I haven't been the one speeding.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 23/11/2007 12:33

YANBU. He needs to learn to slow down.

moljam · 23/11/2007 12:37

yanbu,he is being more than unreasonable!!what a cheek!dont do it,why should you cover for his stupidity!he should sulk all he wants untill he learns how to avoid points-dont ask you to have them-slow down!!!!!!!
he needs to realise he needs to stop speeding before he kills somebody!

RibenaBerry · 23/11/2007 12:50

I would reiterate what others have said. It is a much more serious criminal offence to knowingly take someone else's points than to speed (assuming you're not going massively over the limit/causing an accident, etc).

YANBU.

I know that a lot of people do it and a lot of people get away with it, but I wouldn't want to be the person where they double checked. As others have said, there was a very prominent case recently where someone went to prison...

It's not necessarily just the photo either. What if you took points at a time/place when you could not possibly have been driving the car? If the police are suspicous then, even if the photo is blurred, they can check up on these things. IMO they are looking to make a bit of an example of this at the moment.

jelliebelly · 23/11/2007 12:56

YANBU. Speed kills - he should learn to drive safely.

harleyd · 23/11/2007 12:58

yanbu

tell him to grow up

nametaken · 23/11/2007 14:20

YANBU - it is a crime to do this and people have gone to prison for this before so please please please don't do it.

Your husband has the following options to choose from.

  1. Take public transport to work
  2. Pay for someone to drive him around
  3. Change his job to one where he won't need to drive to do his job
  4. Ignore the ban and drive anyway (but will go to prison if caught)

I'd have thought one of the first two options was workable.

Good luck and take no notice whatsoever of his sulking - he is just trying to force you to do his will.

Slouchy · 23/11/2007 14:27

My Dh has just served a 6mo ban for speeding. It was VERY difficult - he runs his own business as a developer and needs to get to/from various sites in a 20mile radius of home, not to mention meetings etc which can be further afield. But we managed it (I drove him a lot, he has a bike and some taxi journeys). Losing licence temporarily is NOT the end of the world.

Killing a pedestrian becuaes of reckless speeding IS.

You should not take any future points cos he needs to learn before he makes a really fatal error. Also you can be charged with perverting the course of justice if you are discovered to have lied.

Don't do it.

Nbg · 23/11/2007 14:32

YANBU!!!!!!

And am I right in thinking that the points are to be put up to 6 if you are caught speeding now?

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 14:35

Slouchy - I haven't taken any points from him.

Nbg - He has 9 points already on his licence - he asked me to have the other 3, in other words when he gets the full 12 points he looses his licence so wants me to take the next 3 like should there be a next 3? I told him no anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 14:36

nbg - sorry get what you mean now. I am not too sure tbh.

OP posts:
Blu · 23/11/2007 15:00

so basically, he is planning on continuing to speed, and each new set of points will go on your license, and he will continue paying the family's money in fines, until you are both close to getting banned, and both your insurance goes up?

Some people shouldn't be allowed on the road at all.

juicychops · 23/11/2007 15:01

he is being very unreasonable. my sister did this for her boyfriend. He was speeding in her car so she accepted the points as he had no licence!!

i told her what an idiot she was!!

i would never do it for dp. Never ever. his mess, he sorts it

bunnyhunny · 23/11/2007 15:06

and what if he speeds 3 times and you take each set of points? then you both have 12 point.
I would hope that he would learn, from the fact he has 12 points and could lose his licence, to slow down. Even if it's just til his last set of points run out.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 23/11/2007 15:07

Eh - NEXT set? Is this hypothetical - ie he is assuming he will get another set, or has he actually received a letter???

LilRedWG · 23/11/2007 15:09

I wouldn't do it.

sweetcat · 23/11/2007 15:12

LG, has he read this thread yet, if so what did he say?

ivykaty44 · 23/11/2007 15:16

Sorry havn't read the rest of the thread - but wanted to point out if you try to pervert the course of justice, and get found out i.e. take on your dh points for speeding and they have a clear photograph of dh this will give you a criminal record and you will fail a CRB check then you will not be in a position to do nursing.

nanninurse · 23/11/2007 15:23

My friends dh did this for her, as she would have lost her job.. (community nurse)

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/11/2007 15:24

My SIL did this for my BIL as he needs to drive for a living.

He drives slower these days!

geekymummy · 23/11/2007 15:27

YANBU. He's out of order.

TheBlonde · 23/11/2007 15:46

YANBU
I would not do that for my DH

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 17:05

ivykaty - I am no way going to get points on my licence for anybody, and too be honest I was annoyed he even asked me as he knows how important a career in nursing is to me, and I would undoubtedly fail the CRB check if i went ahead with it.

sweetcat - no he hasn't read the thread at all yet he said he is too busy .

Thanks for your replies everyone.

OP posts:
hifi · 23/11/2007 17:28

he obviously has no intention of changing his behaviour if he is talking about his next set of points. teach him a lesson if he does lose his licence, somehow he will have to cope and the roads will be safer.

clam · 23/11/2007 17:38

It's the fact that he's talking about the "next set of points" like it's an inevitable event foisted on him by some random fluke that would annoy me. He is able to control these circumstances perfectly well. If it was a one-off and he'd learnt a lesson it might (but not necessarily) be different, but he clearly has no intention of changing his ways and expects dw to carry the can for it. Let's just hope that he doesn't knock down and kill some poor child next time.

alicet · 23/11/2007 20:25

Only read OP...

Be careful about this. If on the photo they can see its not you you will both get in serious shit.

You can say that you are unsure who was driving and request the photo so you can tell - then if its unclear pretend its you if you choose. Don't think YABU to not do this. Think I would though but strictly as a one off (although with us it would have been the other way round!!!!)

It will make absolutely NO difference to your CRB check by the way - I have to have this too and I have had 9 points on my liscense before. This is not relevant

I do think that its not unreasonalbe of your dh to ask but it is very unreasonable if he gets pissed off if you say no