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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you do this for your DH?

313 replies

LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 11:30

My DH has managed to get 9 points on his drivers license for speeding offences, I however in my 36 years have never managed any.

He asked me if I would have the next set of points put on my drivers license otherwise he will lose his license (in other words say it was me driving). I told him to f off and to learn how to stick to the speed limit- I can managed it so why can't he?

AIBU about this, he reckons 3 points on my license wont make much difference but I am in the process of having a CRB check done (applied to study nursing) and don't want any criminal offences although I know they don't take driving offences too seriously, but still.

He is in a major mood with me atm. AIBU about not wanting someone elses points on my license? especially as I haven't been the one speeding.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 23/11/2007 11:41

This is a hypothetical situation, I take it?

Tell him NO - he will just have to be super extra careful until some or all of his points expire.

If push came to shove and the situation was real and current, and if it was going to seriously impact your household income, then I might be tempted to back down...

OrmIrian · 23/11/2007 11:44

OK. Stand corrected then. Just something that 'someone at work' told me so quite prepared to be wrong

Your DH really needs to address the main issue which is that he needs to stick to the speed limit!

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 11:44

How long do the points take to expire? anyone know?

OP posts:
claricebeansmum · 23/11/2007 11:45

3 years

SoupDragon · 23/11/2007 11:48

"I told him to f off and to learn how to stick to the speed limit"

That would have been my response too!

Is that speeding ad online, the one where the little girl is lying by tree, dead and they rewind the film with her voice saying "at 30mph there's an 80% chance I'll survive". Show him that and tell him to imagine it's your child lying there.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 23/11/2007 11:49

Honestly LittleGoldfish, get him one of these.

They are marketed as something very dodgy, outwit-the-police-heh-heh, but actually they are dead good for making you aware of exactly how fast you are going and what the limit is. And because they warn you when there's a camera or a possible camera site ahead, they can make sure that you always, always slow down when there might be a camera.

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 11:50

yes SoupDragon - I know the advert, very distressing. Next time it is on I will make him watch it.

Thanks for your replies- I guess IANBU?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 23/11/2007 11:50

"They can make sure that you always, always slow down when there might be a camera"

But that kind of misses the point. he'll still think it's perfectly OK to speed where there isn't a camera.

EmsMum · 23/11/2007 11:51

Absolutely YANBU!
and you've now got the perfect xmas gift for him sorted.

EmilyDavidson · 23/11/2007 11:54

I would do anything for my husband. Luckily for me he's not the kind of guy who would ask! So yes and no.

I've got an elderly relative who regularly asks family members to pick up her penalty points. Everyone says no.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 23/11/2007 11:54

He will know when he is speeding, because there'll be a voice that goes 'Attention! Reduce speed now!' Obviously if he ignores it that's his lookout and I agree it has to be in concert with him getting the point about speeding being Dangerous and Not OK.
But if he's already got 3 sets of points, he's clearly got into such a rut of speeding all the time that he is going to need constant reminders to make him break out of it.

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 11:54

Kathyis - where can I buy the device you described? I might get one for DH for Christmas.

OP posts:
Camillathechicken · 23/11/2007 11:56

DH has a road angel

Kathyis6incheshigh · 23/11/2007 11:57

Amazon, or loads of online sites selling them - google Talex or speed camera detector.
You might have to shop around a bit to find a cheap one - looks like the one we had is discontinued and replaced by a more expensive model.

MamaMaiasaura · 23/11/2007 12:00

yanbu - i would have said the same thing. What a cheeky git! but also lol at his cheek

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 12:00

Thanks Kathyis and Camilla - I will defo buy one for him.

OP posts:
flowerybeaker · 23/11/2007 12:01

I got 3 points a few years ago I didn't ask but DH said at the time if I got more he would take them because he wouldn't want to pay extra on the insurance for the car. I told him no way, if I am stupid enough to get points I will take them myself and forego some shoes or something to pay the extra on the insurance.

I didn't get more points and now I have a clean licence.

and at 'the next set of points'! YANBU

Kathyis6incheshigh · 23/11/2007 12:03

You could get him one of these as well

katwith3kittens · 23/11/2007 12:06

I know 2 people who have taken their husbands points.

They were made to go on a training awareness course as it was supposedly their first offences. The room was full of middle aged housewife types who looked like they'd have difficulty getting into 5th gear never mind breaking the limit.

They both paid the fine, spent 2hrs listening to a nice police officer and avoided any points as this was the first time they had been 'caught'.

Not saying this is right, but this is what has happened amongst my circle of otherwise professional friends.

crokky · 23/11/2007 12:06

Be careful of the consequences for yourself and your kids if he loses his licence - my dad lost his when we were at school - my mum had to get 4 kids and herself up an hour earlier every day for 3 months so that we could chauffeur him to work as he wasn't allowed to drive.

Having said that, if you do take points for him, request the photographs FIRST because as some posters have pointed out, some of these photos clearly identify the driver as well as the vehicle. But then some of them - you would have no idea who was driving so it would be "OK" to take them in that case.

But YANBU - he is a total prat thinking he can just go ahead and get more and you'll take them. What if he actually gets PHYSICALLY stopped by a policeman for speeding - WILL HE SAY "MY INVISIBLE WIFE WAS DRIVING???????"

LazyLinePainterJane · 23/11/2007 12:11

I would have thought that at 9 points and with the potential to lose his DL, he would have learned his lesson. Obviously not. Would you think anything would change if you took the hit for him?

What bothers me the most is that he says the next set of points, like it is inevitable that he will get them. If you can manage so long without getting any, then so can he.

Soph73 · 23/11/2007 12:17

YANBU - he needs to grow up and accept responsibility for his actions. Is he aware how many people (including children) are killed each year by drivers who speed?

Original poster
LittleGoldfish · 23/11/2007 12:28

I have emailed this thread to him at work. Hopefully after reading it he will realise HE is the one being unreasonable not me.

OP posts:
casbie · 23/11/2007 12:28

suggests he might like a bike for christmas?!

honestly, some people.

SoupDragon · 23/11/2007 12:30

"Be careful of the consequences for yourself and your kids if he loses his licence"

They're probably less than the consequences of him having an accident/killing someone through speeding.

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