THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

I had an operation on my leg but had no underwear so asked a nurse who said she'd find me something. Time of operation came and nothing - I put on the gown and cap etc and off I went. Came to in recovery to slowly realise I had a pair of paper pants on my head. It was NOT a cap. What they must have thought?

And I'm loving the random words that fall out of people's mouths - it's so human. Not particularly embarrasing but I once tried to tell a friend that my music teacher had an Austrian father and instead said "Bella's got a spanish dog".

No idea why that came out. She did have a dog but I couldn't say if it was in fact spanish or not.

The flushing poo audience from a previous poster made me laugh!

Shameless placemarking

@MessedOfTimes

Here’s my latest...

Met an absolutely lovely guy through OLD. He came to pick me up for a night on the town, but we ended up talking and laughing for hours on my patio instead. Sparks flew and we fell into my bed, which (understandably irritatingly) banged against the wall I share with a neighbour...approximately 2.5 times before we got up and shifted the bed as not to disturb anyone. Lovely guy pauses a few times throughout the throes of passion insisting he hears knocking. We’d listen for a few seconds and agree it was nothing. Fast forward at least half an hour, and we both DEFINITELY hear knocking...I go to answer my front door...shared-wall neighbour is standing there in his PJs. “I just wanted to see what all the banging on the wall was about?”, he says in a smug attempt to make a point. I made sure all my bits were covered by my dressing gown and say, “I think you can guess.”
We both stare at each other with equal mortification
I couldn’t believe I’d said it! Took all of 15 minutes though before I could (and still do) laugh at myself about it, especially since he was the one who chose to spend a good 30 minutes in the cold waiting for someone to answer the door!

Weird pervy neighbour!

When my DS aged three at the time had a Frank Spencer moment in M
& S.
He had a habit of jumping off escalators when we got the top however this time he slides tries to grab on to a clothing rail to stop himself.
The clothing rail is on wheels and him the clothes ,rail then hit three mannequins and take them down as well.I am then trying to dig him out off the mess he had made luckily he was ok and M&S provided us with lunch at the cafe.

@Pregnantandfellover

See username.

So. I was massive pregnant. Huge. Going for a check up.

It had been raining and the tiles in the front of the health centre were slippy.

Being so huge my balance was all off and I slipped and landed on my behind.

A very elderly lady with a Zimmer frame came over and asked me if I was ok and tried to help me up.

I bounced up, said I was fine, and scuttled in to the doctor with a wet arse.

(Baby was fine, born a week later with no ill effects)

I did that outside the local supermarket. I had two little old ladies rushing over to try to help the (beached whale) 8 months pregnant lady get up. No zimmer frames though.

I feel asleep in an MRI machine when I was supposed to be following breathing instructions so that they could get the images they needed.

The person giving the instructions asked if I was OK, which woke me from my doze and instead of saying 'yes' I said 'I was just thinking about monkeys' in that sort of weirdly defensive way you do when you've been caught sleeping unexpectedly!

They just said 'OK, but we do need you to breathe right out now please' in the way I imagine they do with naughty children who won't cooperate. There's probably an MRI image of me cringing somewhere on my file as a result.

@HaveringWavering

I had indeed, I'd had two! It was about a year after I came back from mat leave, and I ended up having a bladder operation about a year after that. I wish I could recover from the embarrassment as well I recovered from the surgery!

[quote babbaloushka]@HaveringWavering

I had indeed, I'd had two! It was about a year after I came back from mat leave, and I ended up having a bladder operation about a year after that. I wish I could recover from the embarrassment as well I recovered from the surgery![/quote]
Oh poor you. I hope that the people who saw the incident understood it was a medical issue.

I had the loveliest driving instructor; such a calm man who seemed genuinely interested in my life so each lesson felt a bit like a therapy session as well as a driving lesson. On one occasion, as I was stopped t a junction, I had been bemoaning the fact that my parents insisted on me living at home through uni and I felt I was missing out of a lot of the social side of things. He asked if I was planning to move out in second year so I rambled on about how I really wanted to and that friends were planning to get a flat but I could foresee a huge argument with my parents if I mentioned wanting to move out and how my mum just didn't seem to accept that I was now an adult. That's all very interesting, he said, gesturing at the gear box, but I was asking if you were planning to move out in second gear. You're about to stall the car.

Oh wow I juat remembered a good one. Not my embarrassment but I still cringe for him.

My colleague and I were interviewing a fairly young guy for a job at my company and my colleague asked him "tell us something about you that your current team dont know" with which he proceeded to tell us about how once when he was on a train in to work he decided to have a wank in toilet and the automatic doors opened midway revealing the act to the other commuters.

Half way through the story I could tell he realised it was the worst example in the world but he couldn't figure out how to backtrack and my colleague and I just sat open mouthed

I don't even know who was supposed to be the embarassed one in this scenario but when I was working as a manufacturing chemist in a small biotech company, one of my tasks was co-hosting visiting speakers, a task I shared with one of my research chemist colleagues (let's call him Brian). Once we had in an extremely esteemed and venerable professor who also, as far as fairly widespread rumour held, was gay. We took him for lunch and then I drove him back to the train station, and on the way, we passed my colleague Brian's wife's workplace. "Is this not where your wife works, Brian?" I asked. The prof turned to me and said "My dear, my name is not Brian, and I do not have a wife." There was the longest 20 seconds' silence I've ever lived through and then my colleague's voice, really quietly from the back seat: "eh... I think she was talking to me, Professor." Can you imagine? He'd 1) assumed I was talking to him, and then 2) forgotten my colleague's name was Brian, and finally 3) accepted that I must have mistaken his sexuality, invented him a wife, and invented her a career as more likely than there being any other explanation for what I had just said. If I'd been him I would have been absolutely mortified. He was fine! I was mortified. I decided then and there that there were too many pompous old men in chemistry and I had to get out, and I did. Into banking. You know, maybe it's just chemistry and banking. Or maybe pompous old men are just part of life.

@DysmalRadius I'm lmao at this!

I interrupted a video call with the whole company (100+ people) where we were discussing the new process of managing documents. I had only been there a week or so. I said “sorry to interrupt-but can I just go out on a limb here and say that I definitely prefer paedophiles”. Deafening silence. Eventually some said said “excuse me” and I carried on with something like “I know it’s not how you normally do it here but it’s a lot easier and less tedious for admin”. I meant to say pdf files. People were confused/shocked for a good minute and I struggled to laugh it off.

My most embarrassing moment has just happened to me. Sat in busy waiting room at hospital and open a bottle of lucozade and it explodes everywhere. I try and secure to stop it getting worse and it jumps out my hand and starts spinning round the floor while squirting everywhere now I have to sit here until I’m called and the poor man on reception cleans it up. I want the ground to swallow me up

singlehun that genuinely made me laugh out loud I can just picture it.

(The interview, that is!!! )

Also took my dog to the vet once and they said can you just turn him around for me. For some reason I tackled my massive dog onto his back and pinned him on the floor, thinking she wanted to examine his stomach. She was quite surprised considering she just wanted to look at the other side of his head.

Ok so mine isn't actually funny... but very embarrassing and a lesson to us all! A few years ago I commented on a celebrity's instagram... The singer who sings the songs 'Smile' and 'The Fear'... Ok it's L*y Aen... I am scared to actually write her name out of fear she will see this lol!!! ( I know.. highly unlikely!!!)

She had put a post about something I thought was trivial and attention seeking and so I wrote something like 'Get over yourself'. I forgot i'd even done it and then was getting 1,000's and I mean 1,000's of friends requests because she had found a pic of mine on instagram, edited it so I looked less attractive and told the world I was a troll in an instagram post to her millions of followers! I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing and I was worried my face would be all over the papers for being a horrible person! I nearly had a heart attack and after hours of reporting it to instagram and freaking out.. the post eventually disappeared the next day.

Note to us all.... BE KIND! Although to be fair, her reaction was equally as mean as she knew I was going to get trolled in return! Needless to say.. i've never said anything remotely negative to anyone ever again!!!

I really think my story trumps everyone's, but if I gave the full details I'd have to name change!

I basically went to to toilet when a builder had his head in the main pipe for some maintenance work. All the flats had been told but we'd forgotten.

Shortly afterwards I opened a ring at the door to find a furious builder with no top on asking if I'd just used the toilet!

I’m right in the middle of a mortifying situation! I’m 35 weeks pregnant, it’s boiling here today and I’ve treated myself to get a hair treatment and cut at the hairdressers! I never do things like this for myself! Thought I’d have a chilled afternoon without my toddler! Instead I am so sweaty that the hairdresser commented on the condensation down my back and I’ve just noticed that I have trickles of sweat gathering inside the plastic cover they have put over me!! I’m dreading standing up as I have a dress on and my bare legs on the seat! I know there will be wet patches! I feel gross but especially gross in front of the glam hairdresser!!

My dress is wet through!

@PenelopeP1tstop

One from me. Was sat having my hair done at a salon in the city centre. The hairdresser was chatting away. She said ' do you park in the centre?' to which I spent a good five minutes explaining how I didn't like the centre car park, it wasn't ideally placed and I usually use a car park blah blah so dull etc. On and on I went about the parking in the city

She said ' err ok! So do you PART your HAIR in the centre?!!'

I've done very similar. Having my legs waxed, oddly the beautician asked me "so do you get migraines?". How did she know, I'd just got over an awful one, so I said "I've only had about 5 in my life, but I had a terrible one this week, lasted 2 days and I still feel a bit sick".

Confused silence. Eventually I played it back in my head and realised she'd actually said "so do you get INGROWNS" i.e. ingrown hairs.

We moved swiftly on . . .

I lost a lot of weight quickly, and underestimated the effect on my dress size. One occasion, I stepped off the tube onto the platform and my skirt fell down to my ankles. I was carrying a small suitcase and box with a cake in, so couldn't rescue my skirt before it dropped fully. I was so embarrassed - it was at the tube station by work and there were colleagues around.

Second time I reached up to get something off the top shelf in Asda and my denim shorts made a bid for freedom. Managed to save my dignity there though as nobody else in the aisle.

The one time that haunts me though is something I thought I had got away with until a couple of years ago. Me and DH got frisky at an event we were working at, in the dead of night with nobody else around (it was 3am early hours of Sunday morning, in an outdoor venue, we were on a stage doing security, and thought it would be fine to, erm, perform). I didn't know that there was a CCTV camera on a nearby building that focuses on the stage, which was a fully built one with a backstage area, roof etc. I definitely didn't know that a friend who worked in the city centre control room was on CCTV that night, and was bored, so was scrolling through the camera feeds. I didn't know she saw us on the stage, nor that her colleagues were alerted to the show by her giggling, and they all watched us for the entirety. She mentioned it a few years later as a funny anecdote, and I wanted to disappear.

Two -
Arriving late for Leonard cohen front row. Actually walked in (crouching) during Suzanne. Awful.

Another l Cohen at Albert hall group of us were asked by surrounding to calm down and be quiet. Awful. Embarrassing. Alcohol related.
Indian train loo - lost my passport money belt down the open hole onto track. Was in middle of heavy period. White trousers. Arrived at very very lovely smart hotel in Cochin stained and desperate. What a mess. Dp says I was brilliant and dealt with it all really well but I didn’t feel it.

@MrsXx4 Where are you?? It's not boiling here.

Can you ask them to just stop for a bit and take the plastic cover off to let you cool down for a bit?

@MrsXx4

I’m right in the middle of a mortifying situation! I’m 35 weeks pregnant, it’s boiling here today and I’ve treated myself to get a hair treatment and cut at the hairdressers! I never do things like this for myself! Thought I’d have a chilled afternoon without my toddler! Instead I am so sweaty that the hairdresser commented on the condensation down my back and I’ve just noticed that I have trickles of sweat gathering inside the plastic cover they have put over me!! I’m dreading standing up as I have a dress on and my bare legs on the seat! I know there will be wet patches! I feel gross but especially gross in front of the glam hairdresser!!

My dress is wet through!

Oh I’ve been in a boiling hairdressers too. My forehead was covered in sweat and the poor girl had to touch it when she trimmed my fringe. And the more embarrassed you get the worse the sweat is!