To put my autistic child in a special school?

[Bowlofcereal]

I have an 8 year old autistic child. He's ahead academically and the teachers tell me he behaves well in class.
We don't have school refusal issues, he doesn't seem to have any real problems at school but I worry about his mental health particularly as he's getting older and all the other kids seem to be making a big social jump.
I know he will be very successful academically but socially he's so far behind.
So my question is has anyone ever moved their autistic child to a special school principally to benefit from the integrated social skills lessons and for them to feel like they fit in by being surrounded by other autistic children?!

@secular39 thanks for making me feel thoroughly depressed about my dd future !

Ds struggled at school academically Dyslexia and ADHD. But the “special school” in our area was more for children who would never live independently and it wouldn’t have suited Ds.
I asked and asked everyone I knew including the counties education department was there a school that was for those in between mainstream education and schools for children who needed 24 hour per day supervision and was told there wasn’t any such school. I said it didn’t matter how far away it was I would have moved or got him to the school if one existed but they were adamant there wasn’t anything in between.
In the end I HE Ds who is now in his late teens
Dd during lockdown took on a job as a floating TA and was sent to work at a non mainstream school. A senior school that was exactly the type of school that I had described and told didn’t exist.
It was for those with ADHD and those that would find mainstream school too hard but weren’t suitable for the special school route
The school taught at a slower pace and in a more gentler way. They even allowed those with ADHD to take a break from the class room and go for a wander or a run around if they felt the need.
It would have been the ideal school for Ds. If we had known about it.
I feel really pissed off with the Education department who were adamant that this type of school didn’t exist

Really really do your research as these type of schools do exist but no one will tell you about them.

Generally speaking, more able autistic learners will go to a mainstream school. Many comprehensives have specialist provision within: a 'unit', for want of a better word, or classroom for those with ASD and other communication/ social difficulties..

I don't think you should have rose-tinted spectacles about social skills provision within special schools. A programme may be designed by specialists, but delivered by members of staff who don't have high-level training: it may include small group card games, and the like, which would be delivered in a very similar way within mainstream.

I think it would be better to give your child a chance at mainstream, and see how things go. ASD children differ in how much social skills deficits impact them and you can't really predict how much he will need to be shielded from mainstream peer group interactions.

Increasingly, autism isn't being viewed as a special need. The co-existing difficulties, such as learning difficulties, or mental health difficulties are those which determine how much support and provision is made available.I think most special schools will tailor their provision to those with learning difficulties.

There are some private schools which tend to serve highly functioning young people with autism.

I think you need to visit the school you are looking at on your own to see how the children are.

Dd has worked in special schools where the children are predominantly non verbal and will never have the capacity for speech.

There are several types of special schools. I would say most wouldn’t be suitable for your Ds it is about finding the one that is

I don't think you should have rose-tinted spectacles about social skills provision within special schools. A programme may be designed by specialists, but delivered by members of staff who don't have high-level training: it may include small group card games, and the like, which would be delivered in a very similar way within mainstream

Depends and why is why a super tight EHCP is worth it's gold. More of the independent specialist schools have onsite speech and language and occupational therapists. They usually run the intervention programmes and social skills groups. If you also have an EHCP that states "X needs social skills to develop on X skills, for 45 minutes a week, with no more than 5 peers in a group, delivered by a SLT". You u would get this.

An EHCP can also state what type of training the staff/specialists need to have to run these groups. Please do not put down social skills as something like playing table top games. They would work on conversational skills (which has so many levels) social communication, regulation etc etc.

I agree about the poster who says that independent specialist schools are very selective in their criteria of children that they take and they are expensive.

FYI- mainstream secondary is about pushing exam results and Ofsted. Therefore, SEN children usually get left behind. I've heard of many bright children with ASD and learning disabilities in Adult care services or mental health facilities who have broken down due to the fact that their needs were not supported in the earlier years. Please do not be swayed by the things mainstream or specialist schools have to offer. If you are armament to have your child in mainstream, apply for an EHCP, commission independent specialists and get a water tight EHCP.

If you like a specialist provision, but are worried about academic and grades. Opt for an extended day provision where the LA can pay for 1:1 tuition and place your child, part time, in GCSE facilities of some kind.

I wouldn't. My brother is HFA and has always been in mainstream independent schools. Whilst he acknowledges that he himself had HFA he struggles to identify with other that do. He just doesn't like other children.

The best thing to do, if he is bored with his schooling, is to push him academically. Extra classes after school etc. At first he may be opposed due to the change in routine/new places, but after the adjustment period he might thrive.

@amylou8

My son is now 22. He was diagnosed with Asperger's at 11. He had a very difficult time at primary and missed practically all of year 6 and year 7, with just a few hours of tutoring at home provided by the LEA. He started in a special school in year 8. He's very able academically, but his social and behavioural needs did impede his progress. The school were fantastic with him, and he came out of there with 5 GCSEs, something I'm sure he wouldn't have achieved in mainstream. He went on to study computing at college, and it was a case of square peg square hole, he loved it and did brilliantly. From there he went on to uni, left home in his second year, got a 1st, and now at 22 is working for the Councils IT department on 35k a year. I honestly believe special school was the best option for him. He needed the supportive environment over the academic one.

This is exactly what we hope for DS.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that, with the benefit of hindsight, I would start the preparations to move him in that direction.

These things can take years to put into place. You will need an EHCP so start thinking now about all of his difficulties. Any signs of anxiety, social difficulties etc. Join local charities and groups that can help you with filling the form in. Fill it in ready to go for when you think you might need it (mine was 12,000 words long) so took a long time to write.

Get really familiar with the relevant legislation and the SEND code of practice.

Apply for an EHCP mid year 4. The process is supposed to take 20 weeks. The reality is very different. Nearly two years on we should hopefully get my child where we want them to be. Unfortunately, that child had a breakdown during the process (aged 11) so you're right to start thinking of protecting your child's mental health now.

We're a year behind for my second child aged 10 who has been unable to attend school for the last term due to anxiety.

Both children have a high IQ and we're "fine" in school. They are not fine. My view is that I'd rather they got 5 good GCSEs than 10 rubbish ones or no GCSE's. They are going to need longer to grow up than other kids and so we need to be realistic about that.

I don't think that mainstream school is the right place for many autistic children.

Oh and take what the school says with a pinch of salt. Don't rely on them to assist you. You will be able to do this with the help and support of other parents who've been through this.

I think Flipperty makes a very salient point, too. It's taking a lot to get this going and our son has serious issues rooted in his autism now.

My other worry in this case would be that paying for a private special school yourself is going to be very expensive, all the extras and therapies and things will have to be added on. I know the only private specialist school locally can easily hit £50,000 plus a year for the right package for the child.

I really do think you need to consider applying for an EHCP so at least you have his need to access whatever he needs written and in a legally binding document. If you don’t have one and go for this school I would worry it may have a negative impact if other students all have them as he may miss out on what he needs.

I would look at his high school options as lots of schools especially some grammars provide good support

When I looked into social groups for my autistic, gifted, but socially behind child it was clear it was not a place that would work for her. The co-morbidities constrained the way they could address social skills. Everything was just so slow. I believe participating even that few hours a week would have been harmful.

What she really needs is what we have tried to do one our own instead. Someone to state the unwritten rules of life explicitly. We state it. She asks why. Sometimes we have an explanation, sometimes we discuss how the rule might have come about, sometimes we all agree it’s silly but it’s just one of those things we all have to do. Then she does it going forward because she really only needs to be told once or twice that the convention exists.

My sons at a special school ( he's on the severe end of the spectrum) and although it's great for him I wouldn't consider it for a child who's academically able x
Your son needs peers to learn from and he wouldn't get that in a special needs setting,also they have very strict criteria of who's eligible for a place x
Maybe look into a setting that as an asd unit attached so he gets mainstream interaction but also a base if needed x

My DS is in a special school, he has asd, adhd and mild learning disability. So he's a couple of years behind his age group, basically.

As an ex teacher I knew he would need special school from the get go, so he's never been in mainstream. Every single autistic child I taught the gap got wider and the struggles got more intense as they got older and older. For me it was so important that my DS was with peers of similar thinking and ability to him. He's thriving there and delighted to go to school every day. He has swimming once a week, forest school, sensory room and soft play (there are three soft play rooms in his school!). There's a huge sensory garden and adventure playground outside for the kids to explore and he adores it. NHS services are also based in his building, so he is monitored by the SALT team and they advise his teachers and TAs.

I fought incredibly hard for his place in this school, we filed tribunal paperwork. Worth it.

I think it’s highly dependent on your son. I have one dd who is autistic and she’s just finishing mainstream primary. Our local mainstream secondary is huge plus very academic. We felt she could struggle. So have gone with a school that is for children who are as academically able as those in mainstream but who struggle with the environment. Her younger sister is 8 and also autistic but has much more severe issues. She’s in a complex needs specialist school which wouldn’t at all suit her older sister. My huge concern for my older daughter was her mental health. I would rather she got a handful of GCSEs and had decent mental health rather than come apart in a mainstream secondary. Whether we’re making the right choice or not I don’t know. I felt with our local mainstream secondary there was a huge push for conforming even with an ehcp they didn’t want to make adjustments even though by law they’d need to.

Thank you to everyone who has offered their insight. Ive just spent the evening taking notes and will be doing further research on the relevant points in the coming week. Much appreciated! Xx