To put my autistic child in a special school?

[Bowlofcereal]

I have an 8 year old autistic child. He's ahead academically and the teachers tell me he behaves well in class.
We don't have school refusal issues, he doesn't seem to have any real problems at school but I worry about his mental health particularly as he's getting older and all the other kids seem to be making a big social jump.
I know he will be very successful academically but socially he's so far behind.
So my question is has anyone ever moved their autistic child to a special school principally to benefit from the integrated social skills lessons and for them to feel like they fit in by being surrounded by other autistic children?!

You don’t need to be academically behind to go to a SEN school. My sons specialist school offers a full range of GCSE options and my son is streamed into a class with children who are on his level academically.

If you have the option available to you and you can afford it then yes, I definitely would. My sons social skills have definitely improved.

It’s also important to remember that a child coping in mainstream primary won’t necessarily cope in mainstream secondary.

I'm in a similar situation I've decided to leave him in mainstream he is excellent at maths he still has issues listening and social issues the support has been outstanding.
It really depends on his needs. I don't think an asd unit would bring him on socially.
It can be erratic, my friend an sna in a unit has been bruised and had her hair pulled on a couple of occasions.

I am amazed at the difference between my ds age 8 and now (age 13 at high school). My ds fits into mainstream high school so much better than mainstream primary. He still does not like having a best friend, he goes between different groups of friends or hangs about by himself. He is happy.

I had wanted him to be in a more specialised setting but he didn't want to.

He does go to a weekly football class for autistic children and enjoys that.

I think visit the special schools and see OP.

Your gut feeling will tell you whether your making the right decision or not. There are Autistic units attached to mainstream secondaries. But don't know enough about them to tell you how they are re.

The problem at mainstream secondary, and I work in one, is that a lot of focus is put on academic skills and kids passing their GCSE's. The children who need support in communication, interaction and language are push to the side- so to speak. That's the risk. You may end up with a very bright DS when he enters secondary but once he spends year 7,8,9... and his social needs are not addressed, he is at risk of developing mental health needs and your bright DS becomes not so bright anymore. This is the worst case scenario and does not happen to every Autistic child who are in mainstream. But time and time again, you hear of parents that their Autistic children are fine throughout primary, year 7 works out ok but when it does up to year 8-9, their children suddenly cannot cope anymore.

Also, some schools, especially the private ones don't admit new children once they reach year 9!

You can get DS support in his mainstream school via getting an EHCP.

@Bowlofcereal

The school have offered to do a weekly social group but so far it's happened 3 times because of covid. But it's so little time (20mins once a week) that I feel it's neither here nor there! He does do football which has been great as he plays football every lunchtime. I guess he likes it because it follows rules because he does this rather than play with his "best friends" (using the term loosely!).

For those saying he wouldn't get a place, he would because we'd pay for it at an independent special school near us. Most students have an EHCP but you can just pay privately if they agree he's suitable. They have read his diagnosis and said he can do a week trial and they will decide if he's a good fit or not. But I don't want to let him try it if we aren't sure it would be the right decision. He doesn't have (and wouldn't be awarded) an EHCP because he doesn't need any adjustments made for him in mainstream.

I just worry so much that he might feel different or that he will be bullied because I can see he can't keep up socially.

Thank you for the ASD social group idea. I've never heard of it so don't think we have them locally but I will search and if not set one up!

Woah, that's the wrong way of thinking OP. The EHCP lasts until they're 25. Just because he's not having issues yet, that may change if he goes to a mainstream comp. Mine went to a mainstream primary but there was no way as time went on he would have coped moving into a mainstream senior school.

Year 6 was when issues cropped up and I got that EHCP by the skin of my teeth. Schools aren't really forthcoming for them because of the financial hit it gives them.

We’re in a similar boat OP, and we’ve been told by our school SENCO that our DS (autistic, academically average, just about copes in mainstream but finds it very stressful) wouldn’t stand a chance of getting into a special school, or even getting an ehcp, so although he struggles a lot socially/emotionally he has no formalised help and apparently never will. The threshold for that sort of thing seems to be ridiculously high, depressingly. We’ve decided our best bet is to use his DLA money to enrol him in a couple of slightly quirkier clubs/activities outside school (we’ve gone for Woodcraft Folk and drama, which suit his interests) so that his social circle doesn’t only depend on school (I think this will become even more important the older he gets).

@Zparks

We’re in a similar boat OP, and we’ve been told by our school SENCO that our DS (autistic, academically average, just about copes in mainstream but finds it very stressful) wouldn’t stand a chance of getting into a special school, or even getting an ehcp, so although he struggles a lot socially/emotionally he has no formalised help and apparently never will. The threshold for that sort of thing seems to be ridiculously high, depressingly. We’ve decided our best bet is to use his DLA money to enrol him in a couple of slightly quirkier clubs/activities outside school (we’ve gone for Woodcraft Folk and drama, which suit his interests) so that his social circle doesn’t only depend on school (I think this will become even more important the older he gets).

Course they have. They don't want to fork out the cost.

Don't allow yourself to be fobbed off, you can formally ask them to start the process or your can start it yourself.

Do you know the Secondary school that your child will likely attend if not in a SEN school?

My dd is awaiting assesment for ASD. She is moving up to secondary school in september. She is staying mainstream.

However, she has been assesed by the speach and language team who are based at the school. She has had additional integration sessions to prepare her for the move. When she starts she will be having additional sessions to help with her social and communication skills. Her teachers have also been informed, she is so well behaved that she could be over-looked. That is what they are hoping to prevent.

It might be worth seeing if this is something that can be offered where you are.

FWIW my autistic child is doing really well at an academically selective school. His social skills have improved enormously and the school have put in place lots of support for him. He did have a rocky start but he's doing his GCSEs now and thriving.

Reading this as we're further behind you with a reception age DC who is very academic but behind with social skills and sensory issues. He loves his state primary at the moment but we'll keep it under review.

We are looking at private therapies to give social skills training and OT therapies as we are hoping early intervention will help him stay happily at a mainstream school.

Could you try to find some private social skills classes in the local area to provide what school are failing to do? It might help him get some similar friends to practice with out of class too.

If other pupils at the special school have social difficulties (very likely) it's hard to see how their problems would help your son's social development.

12 to 13 (or even later) is a tricky age. In children who don't have autism, there's a pretty wide variation in physical. sexual, emotional and social development and they don't go hand in hand . It goes in fits and starts as any parents of teens finds out.

 Your son has plenty of time to  mature and catch up.

@RickiTarr

There are schools that cater to high achieving autists, as I’m sure OP knows, but they can be pricey.

Have you identified any possible schools OP? I don’t think it’s outlandish although I can’t say it’s quite what we did. Similar.

Hi @RickiTarr is there an easy way of finding a list of these types of private schools in England?

I wouldn't. We did have issues with mainstream education, missed lots of school by secondary but the alternative was terrible - I visited the school they suggested and GCSEs were not high on the agenda, with most kids only doing a few - my dd got 12 at mainstream school all at a or a*. A unit at a mainstream school would have been better but unfortunately they only started one after she left (we helped the consultation process)

I have 3 children with SEND, two with ASD. I think you would be better placed looking more towards suitable secondary provision. I certainly would not be looking to move a child who is happy and making progress. Once you have found what you feel is suitable for secondary, then look towards getting him an EHCP. If money is no issue, look at hiring your own independent professionals.

My son is now 22. He was diagnosed with Asperger's at 11. He had a very difficult time at primary and missed practically all of year 6 and year 7, with just a few hours of tutoring at home provided by the LEA. He started in a special school in year 8. He's very able academically, but his social and behavioural needs did impede his progress. The school were fantastic with him, and he came out of there with 5 GCSEs, something I'm sure he wouldn't have achieved in mainstream. He went on to study computing at college, and it was a case of square peg square hole, he loved it and did brilliantly. From there he went on to uni, left home in his second year, got a 1st, and now at 22 is working for the Councils IT department on 35k a year. I honestly believe special school was the best option for him. He needed the supportive environment over the academic one.

My ds is now 15. He struggled from day 1 in mainstream primary but despite his teacher suggesting that he needed extra help we were fobbed off by senco, paediatrician, Ed psych etc for years and told that he would never get an echp or support. His needs were all social/emotional, it was clear he was very academically capable (just wouldn’t do the work). Eventually (after a loooong fight) he got his diagnoses of asd (pda) and adhd, an ehcp and a place in a brilliant private special school (funded by LA).
He did really well there and is academically capable so we took a risk at end of primary he went to a mainstream secondary with an autism unit. Mainly because he wouldn’t have been able to get a full range of gcse at special school. It has overall been great for him. Stressful at times and very challenging but the right decision I think. The support he gets from the unit has been absolutely vital.

The choice for everyone depends I think entirely on the particular school and your child’s particular needs, regardless of whether it is special/mainstream/private/local authority.
But, you can get an echp due to social/emotional needs/delays regardless of academic progress. Many professionals are totally ignorant of sen code of practice (or trying to put parents off).

You can foster a positive autistic identity and encourage him to socialise with other autistic kids without going to a specialist school. In most autism specific settings there is a lot of behavioural problems which could impact on your DS too. I wouldn’t rule it out but I’d be very cautious.

My daughter started on at a specialist ASD school a couple of months ago. Places there are like gold dust and your child needs to have significant problems that would mean mainstream is impossible for them. Something else to think about is that we visited several schools for our daughter. And all of them had limited GCSEs to take. At the school my daughter now attends they will study a maximum of 5 subjects. That's math, English, science, art and r.e. If your son is academic then it would be a shame to limit his abilities.

Also, there are always plenty of other kids with autism (and other SN), some diagnosed and some not, in every mainstream school. They will never be the only one.

He wouldn’t necessarily ‘fit in’ any better in a special school, because not all autistic people are the same - and being among other people who struggle socially might not necessarily help him with his social skills. My eldest is in year 5, autistic (still awaiting assessment but I’m pretty certain, it runs in the family, I’m autistic too) and we’ve applied to a small, nurturing mainstream private school for secondary. She’s academically capable but socially awkward and easily overwhelmed by crowds and noise - for her it feels like the right thing to do, though it’s going to be a huge stretch financially and we’d never thought we’d be the private education types. She wouldn’t cope in the huge local secondaries, I know that for sure, but also I know she needs more academic challenge, more extracurricular activities and friends who are more like her, than she’d find in a special school. It’s a really difficult choice. In your position if he’s happy at the moment I’d leave him where he is, but start doing some research into all the options for secondary (including grammar/private).

If you want him to learn how to live in the neurotypical world then support in Mainstream is your best option if he is acdemically able.
Have you considered an independent mainstream school that has good pastoral support and small classes?
I have a child with autism in a special school and it is 100% the right placement for him as he has severe learning disabilities too.

A standard special school will not accept a child who is at age expected academic levels. They would not be able to meet his needs not provide him with peers at his level. The alternative would be an ASD specialist school as these often have children on different levels and may be able to offer a reduced in breadth but age appropriate curriculum in some subjects. Most of these are independent. It would be a struggle to achieve funding as you would need to prove that his school could not and are not meeting his emotional and social needs.

I wouldn't move him if he's happy where he is - if he doesn't settle at the new school then will he be able to easily go back to the old school?

Is your son happy currently. I think you need to be very clear about any factors that might be having an impact on him and whether he is doing as well as he would if further accommodations were made. He’s already getting some extra funding because he will be on the SEN register and to justify an EHCP they would have to show why that funding is not adequate and what is already being done to support him. You might know all of this. Many schools say no and many local authorities reject the initial application but if you think he requires more support then you can start that process and appeal it if initially turned down (legal council here would be good if feasible for you financially). If he goes to mainstream secondary keep a very close relationship with the pastoral support side of things. Secondary school is such a challenge and more so when you’re seen as different. A super selective grammar might have its fair share of quirky children though so definitely get a feel for all options.

I worry if you put him into an environment where he won’t be academically challenged you may risk making issues worse for him, if he is bored will that effect his behaviour?

Ds is starting mainstream secondary in September, he is academically able but socially miles behind, he has full time 1-1 and will do at secondary. I considered specialist school but none of them could offer what he needed academically and the environment wouldn’t have worked at all for DS.

Now obviously some areas have much better special needs provision but if your son doesn’t qualify for an ehcp (I would apply for one yourself don’t rely on school) then it may not be the right environment for him