Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask did you sleep train your child(ren)

107 replies

Tucancrossing · 01/07/2021 15:16

I'm not posting this to start a debate about sleep training, although I'm sure it will kick off anyway. But I'm genuinely interested to know roughly what proportion of parents sleep train. By sleep train I mean any method that involves baby crying for any length of time, or leaving baby in cot for any length of time unhappily (including 'gentler' methods such as pick up put down). I had a discussion with a mum friend and we had very different estimations of how common it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tucancrossing · 01/07/2021 15:17

Sorry - didn't say how to vote 🤦🏼‍♀️

YABU - I sleep trained
YANBU - I didn't

OP posts:
MorriseysGladioli · 01/07/2021 15:20

I'm not sure if it would be considered sleep training now, but I used to be in my child's room like a shot if I heard them get up.
No talk, nothing, they were just put back in bed.
So, as it wasnt worth them getting up, that only happened four or five times.

Original poster
Tucancrossing · 01/07/2021 15:23

@MorriseysGladioli yeah if you don't speak to them just put them back in bed, I reckon that counts as sleep training

OP posts:
bookh · 01/07/2021 15:23

Yabu, yes I did at 14 months and wish I had earlier. Dd2 will be earlier

mindutopia · 01/07/2021 15:27

No, I didn't sleep train either of them. They slept in with us until they decided to sleep on their own (this was around 2.5-3.5). Then they mostly just slept through in their own rooms. Neither had night feeds after 9 months and 14 months, respectively (one was ff and one was bf). They did still wake during the night, but not very much after 2. I'm lazy and took a more sleep for everyone is easiest approach, which meant not getting up during the night to put them back in their own rooms. I like my sleep, so we just did what worked until they were ready to sleep all night independently.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 01/07/2021 15:28

Yes. I was really against it before I had to, but covid meant returning to work after mat leave, with a 1 year old coworker.
Fitting in all my work around him just wasn't possible until he learned to sleep at night, so I could get some work done and sleep myself. There was no way for me or my DH to settle him without me breastfeeding, since that's what he'd always known, so it was an inevitable part of night weaning.

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 01/07/2021 15:29

YABU I sleep trained both my boys. Now 9 and 10. It was CC/ CIO (more like CIO tbh) for both around 6 months. Took a few days where we had to be super consistent but less that a week after we had kids who were more rested and so were we.

MrsKoala · 01/07/2021 15:33

I attempted to sleep train all of mine but it didn’t work. We still co sleep with them, they are almost 9, almost 7 and almost 5.

Dogsandbabies · 01/07/2021 15:36

I didn't sleep train my first and it was hellish. I sleep trained my second at 8 months using the Gentle sleep training book and it worked amazingly. He is a champion sleeper. I am certainly planning on using the same technique with my third.

Maggiesfarm · 01/07/2021 15:37

No, never even thought of it.

Camomila · 01/07/2021 15:38

No, I just put mine in bed with me.

Culturally (Italian) I think sleep training is unusual, I know a few Italian people that did the gentler methods but no one that did CC.

Granohlaa · 01/07/2021 15:39

Attempted it. It didn’t work!

Dollywilde · 01/07/2021 15:43

DD never needed sleep training at night, but we did sleep train for naps, because if I’d left it up to her she would have never napped. Seriously, I remember posting about the fact she had gone all day without a nap when she was 6 months old... she was insanely grumpy but wouldn’t fall asleep. It was the only way to get her to take to daytime naps. Took a week but it made such a difference - since she started getting proper naps she’s such a sunny little girl. She now goes down immediately 90% of the time and it’s been a game changer for us.

Legomania · 01/07/2021 15:49

Yes, we did pick up put down with both around 6 months after they started waking every 40 mins at night. Worked in about 3 days and saved our sanity.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 01/07/2021 16:08

Yes and it changed my life! I was no longer dangerously tired and emotional and irrational and comfort eating. My baby started eating in the day as previously they were getting 90pc of calories at night so weren't interested in food. everyone was just happier and calmer

Dollywilde · 01/07/2021 16:58

For those who cosleep, or did, can I ask - do/did you go to bed at the same time as DC?

We coslept when our DD was tiny, because she would sleep in the Moses basket until we went to bed at 9/10, feed then sleep in with us until morning with a couple of feeds in between. But she goes down at 7.30 now and I can’t imagine going to bed that early!! And no way would I be putting a rolling baby into an adult bed without supervision.

When DD has had unsettled nights due to teething etc we’ve put her down in her own room and then if she stirs after we go to bed we just bring her straight in with us - is that what people mean? Are you keeping kids up until ‘grown up’ bedtime? Or are you all going to bed at dinner time?

Dollywilde · 01/07/2021 16:58

*moses basket in the living room

becca3210 · 01/07/2021 17:05

Yes a gentle method at 6.5 months and it was life changing. All happier from the increased sleep.

Fernando072020 · 01/07/2021 17:14

Son is 11 months old and I never plan to sleep train. Some nights he sleeps through, some nights he's up a few times.
He sleeps with me, husband in a diff room. It won't last forever and we never have trouble at bed time etc so it works for us. I couldn't stand the thought of him lying there crying for me and me ignoring him.

Maggiesfarm · 01/07/2021 17:15

Dollywilde
For those who cosleep, or did, can I ask - do/did you go to bed at the same time as DC?
.....
No, we kept them downstairs with us and carried up, asleep, when we went to bed.

Fernando072020 · 01/07/2021 17:17

@Dollywilde before my son was 6 months old, I went to bed with him. It was hard at times cause he went through a phase of going down at 6pm so husband would bring me my dinner in bed and I'd watch some TV with headphones. This was due to SIDS risks. At around 8 months old, we got a floor bed and I now just lie down with him to put him to sleep, takes no longer than 20 minutes and then I'm back out of bed again to spend the evening with DH with the video monitor on. Sometimes I have to go back to resettle which takes 5 minutes, sometimes he carries on sleeping. I just climb back into bed with him later.

Saynotopineappleonpizza2021 · 01/07/2021 17:19

Never and would never - not for me even when DC were up 13 times a night

MattyGroves · 01/07/2021 17:19

Yes, controlled crying with both. It was beyond amazing to get some proper sleep again.

Co sleeping did not work for mine and I find the relentless pushing of it on Mumsnet very tedious. Some posters don't seem to realise it just does not work for everyone.

Fieldsoftripe9 · 01/07/2021 17:20

Sleep is developmental, training someone to sleep just isn't needed.

MattyGroves · 01/07/2021 17:22

@Fieldsoftripe9

Sleep is developmental, training someone to sleep just isn't needed.
You could say the same about learning to use the potty