Pregnant immediately after abortion

[Badsituations]

I feel like an absolute idiot.
Had abortion mid may. Yet to have a period, just tested positive so I guess that’s why.
Not much else to say really. I’m devastated. Have been on the pill the whole time. Not sure even how far along i am, as I’ve had sex a couple of times a week up until last week since two weeks post abortion.
I’ve already called the abortion provider for another consultation and they were lovely and non judgemental but I feel so embarrassed and disgusted in myself. Has anyone else been through this? How did you feel? I am hoping they’ll be able to post the tablets out to me again but as I can’t pinpoint my gestation I feel they might want me to go in to their clinic
Thank you

@Ohhyeahright

What are the odds of the pill failing twice?

Higher than you'd think

I speak from experience!!!

Wow, that's bad luck. Thank goodness you live somewhere you can easily get an abortion.
I've got a mirena coil, which I find fantastic (no more period pain AT ALL is such a bonus), and would highly recommend if you're considering a different method of contraception for the future.

I went through the same thing.

Didn't want to wait weeks for an appointment so ordered online from Medside24. I received the pills within a few days.

You are not an idiot, the pill just doesn’t work for some people. It doesn’t work for me and I previously have had 2 abortions within 3 months of each other whilst on the pill.

I would recommend looking at a different contraception method. I went on to the injection for a few years which worked for me. Now we use condoms.

@Ohhyeahright

What are the odds of the pill failing twice?

Well if it fails once, surely it's more likely to fail again, than not? As it obviously doesn't work for OP.

Or were you insinuating something else @Ohhyeahright?

You are not an idiot in the slightest OP, just unlucky. Sending

not an idiot the pill just doesnt work for you

Just reading all of your kind replies. You have all made me feel so much better as I haven’t told anyone in real life. Not going to tell DH as not much point putting both of us through it and I feel embarrassed.. just took last night to snuggle with my babies and de-stress. I am going to try and relax for the next week or so until my consultation and once that’s over I can start to feel relief knowing that it will soon be over again.

@xxxemzyxxx how did you feel when this happened to you? I actually didn’t have any feelings for my first abortion, just pure relief and hadn’t really thought about it since. It wasn’t traumatic in the slightest as some of my friends who have had abortions have described.. I had three painless clots and then it was over and I slept through the whole thing pretty much. Hoping I can have a repeat of that

Not going to tell DH as not much point putting both of us through it and I feel embarrassed..

Absolutely no judgement on you at all, but please rethink telling your DH. He’s 50% responsible and you both need to have a proper conversation about contraception- if you’re sure your family is complete perhaps he needs to think about a vasectomy? It’s not all on you to prevent pregnancy. Plus, he’s your life partner and you’re having a shitty, emotional time. You need his support.

@Badsituations I was exactly the same, my first one I felt nothing and was content with my decision, I was only 18 at the time and was preparing to go off to uni later that year. The 2nd time I was really upset as I couldn't believe I had to do it again when I took the pill religiously, and was a bit scared until my doctor told me that the pill just sometimes doesn't work for some.

My 2nd was very much the same as the first, I don't recall being in any more pain or discomfort than I would than being on my period. To this day I have never regretted either one and am happy with how my life has turned out and never once got emotionally impacted.

I think your reaction and feelings about it are very dependant on how content you are with your decision. I knew both times I was in no way ready to be a mum and actually at that point I wasn't even sure I wanted children in the furture (FYI I am now 32 and have had my first little one 9 months ago ), so to me there was no decision to make, I knew that if I had a positive test that I wouldn't be keeping the baby. Abortions are really hard on some people mentally and physically, we all have our different views on it, and how you see it very much impacts your mentality in my opinion.

Did you get judged at all when you went in did they let you have the termination. I need this nightmare over. 😫 @Badsituations

@Zaraboo123455 this is an old thread. Highly recommend you start a fresh one. Best wishes

OP,

They have no business judging you.

That is not part of their job.

The very best of luck.

Mind yourself.

@lavenderYellow

Zara, please please just pick up the phone. You will not be judged.

Do you have real life support?

Zara, at the top of the page, you should see a drop down menu which will allow you to create a new thread

Please ignore people saying that it's not your fault SINCE you were using birth control. That 100% doesn't matter. There is no "fault" to assign. Having an abortion is a legal, safe, and morally neutral way to ensure you don't give birth.

Birth control never agreed with me even when I remembered to take it, and I had to have my IUD removed since I was one of the unlucky few who get much worse menstrual cramps and bleeding with it than without it. So my "birth control" with my husband is vaguely tracking my period, asking him to pull out when I think it might be risky, keeping a big box of cheap pregnancy tests, and knowing I have access to abortion if I need it. I've had two medical abortions is 20 years and it's been fine. Abortion is, by definition, birth control. The other stuff is conception control (pills, condoms, etc). Have an abortion if you need it. Don't feel guilty. Feel fucking delighted and go out for a drink once it's done to celebrate that you live somewhere that it's safe and legal when so many women don't. That's what I did.

@Badsituations

Thank you everyone for your kindness. I’m booked in for the end of next week so will see what they say. Just hoping I don’t have to go to the clinic. I wouldn’t mind so much being comfortable at home as last time I didn’t experience any pain or extreme bleeding. It’s just a nightmare that it’s happened again

Our mum got 'sterilised' as Dad refused to get a vasectomy.. it did mean that she didn't have to worry, but I do think it was really selfish of him not to have the snip.

Edit..should have said Mum had to have a termination, which she followed with being sterilise..Three children and in her Forties, she didn't want any more.