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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

463 replies

CityMumma78 · 30/06/2021 23:50

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 01/07/2021 08:29

People going on about the game and how important it is, and how terrible to miss it, it was only decided 2 days ago.

But the dates for the 1/4 finals have been set for a much longer time. It would have been perfectly easy to say Friday or Saturday is no good can we do Sunday

Tulipomania · 01/07/2021 08:30

Does anyone know, if England win on Saturday, when is their next match?

Ostryga · 01/07/2021 08:31

@Tulipomania

Does anyone know, if England win on Saturday, when is their next match?
Next Wednesday at 8pm I believe.
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 01/07/2021 08:31

@Ostryga

Yeah tbh I would probably go and have dinner and avoid the match because we’ll be doing our usual of going out on penalties.

At least there’s only a year till the World Cup and more disappointment!

Oh great.....a year until we get the inevitable "England have made it through to the semi finals but it's at the same time as our wedding" threads.

I've missed those!

redfairy · 01/07/2021 08:32

I think you've probably already ruined it for them tbh. They certainly know where they lay in your priorities now.

ThatWasCrazy · 01/07/2021 08:32

What's a special meal at 7pm will still be a special meal at 6.30pm! Hmm

looptheloopinahulahoop · 01/07/2021 08:32

@Ostryga

Yeah tbh I would probably go and have dinner and avoid the match because we’ll be doing our usual of going out on penalties.

At least there’s only a year till the World Cup and more disappointment!

Well quite. I think the parents are being stubborn not to move it to 6.30 and the OP's DH is being childish saying he won't go at all. You can easily watch it on iplayer.

I agree it's difficult to avoid the result - I went out for a run on Tuesday for the second half and as I got close to home I could hear enthusiastic happy singing from my local pub, so I kind of knew England had done ok.

if England win, you can watch the match knowing that it all came right in the end, and if they lose, well you can take a view!

And if I thought the restaurant would be screening the match I wouldn't go. There are plenty of pubs you can go to if you don't want to watch the match at home. Not everyone likes football, and even if you do, you may not want to torture yourself watching England.

TidyDancer · 01/07/2021 08:32

What did they say when you asked if you could switch the time? I can understand them taking offence tbh, but it depends how it was phrased (from you and them).

I would mostly be fine with someone switching times on me (providing it didn't massively inconvenience me) but if I was frequently treated as an afterthought by the person then that would cloud my view I think. I'm not saying that's how you're seeing your parents, but it may be how they are feeling (reasonable of them or not).

NoSquirrels · 01/07/2021 08:33

I think I’m feeling over sensitive about this as this year ought to be my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Which my mum would have totally planned for a chain restaurant in order to include all the fussy eater grandchildren and make sure we had a great time. And if my DH threw his toys out of the pram over football I’d be deeply unimpressed. (Wouldn’t happen, as he and my mum actually bonded over shared love of their football team.)

But she died last year, shortly after their 49th wedding anniversary. So we can’t ever have this dilemma and it hurts.

Celebrate graciously, OP. England will win or lose regardless of whether you watch it in real time. There will be other matches.

WouldBeGood · 01/07/2021 08:33

I’d assumed the description of the restaurant etc was to demonstrate that this wasn’t a special booking that couldn’t be replicated at another time, rather than snotty.

ForeverAintEnough3 · 01/07/2021 08:33

YABU it’s not about them not wanting to move it 30 mins earlier. It’s how before it was going to be family spending the evening together and celebrating a special occasion for your parents. Now you want it to be meet early, throw some food into you and rush off ASAP go watch a football match.

And you can’t see why your parents aren’t happy with this ‘lovely’ plan for their anniversary.

TurdCrapley · 01/07/2021 08:33

YABU. They're probably refusing to change the time because they're hurt that a football game is changing their plans. People saying we've had 18 months of misery so we need this joy of England playing, well OP's parents have probably missed their family over the last 18 months and want to spend a special evening with them. Family (if you're close, everything's all good etc) is the most important thing in life. It's just a bloody game🤷‍♀️

Go to the meal, record it or watch on iPlayer when you're home. Do not rush through the meal either!

BarbaraofSeville · 01/07/2021 08:34

Not everyone has lots of money you know. Special anniversary meals can be in other places than posh hotels or upscale restaurants

But chain restaurants are rarely a cheap option, especially on Saturday nights when you can't use vouchers.

Drinks are usually more expensive than independents of similar quality, eg Pizza Express vs independent Italian will be around 20/30% cheaper and likely better food.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/07/2021 08:36

YANBU, I think your parents could shift it 30 minutes!

We’ve rearranged dinner with a few friends sat night to a different day. One couple weren’t impressed but 🤷🏼‍♀️

HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/07/2021 08:36

YANBU. The meal has only been booked for a week. I'd still leave in time to get home for the second half.

We don't get very far very often, it's nice to enjoy it! It's not the 80s anymore, it's not easy to avoid the result.

PixieKitten · 01/07/2021 08:37

It's your parent's special wedding anniversary and you want to rush back to watch England play

I wouldn't be surprised if your parent's feel a bit miffed and that football is now more important than their anniversary

I think you've got your priorities wrong. I'd just watch the highlights and maybe try not to know the score

AlternativePerspective · 01/07/2021 08:37

@ sweeneytoddsrazor ah, the point I was trying to make was that people are going on about how this anniversary meal was only organised a week ago so it’s not important, so the point I was trying to make was that the match was only decided 2 days ago, so in fact after the anniversary, so is equally not important, especially given the OP, if she was genuinely a football fan which clearly she isn’t, would have known that it clashed with a quarter final game and that England could potentially be in it.

I am no football fan by any stretch of the imagination. I take a passing interest in the England games but I couldn’t tell you who any of the players are etc, but even I knew there was a match on Saturday, because when my DP suggested going into town for dinner I said no on the basis that there’s a quarter final game on and the pubs etc will be heaving either with England fans cheering on the team, or England fans booing the Germans and crying in to their beer.

Itsprobablynotcominghome · 01/07/2021 08:38

Just clear your diary for the semi final, final, and victory parades.

Summerfun54321 · 01/07/2021 08:39

I’d hate for my parents to be this precious. Mine would bring the dinner forward and watch the game with us. Are they invited to watch the game with you?

careerchangeperhaps · 01/07/2021 08:39

YABU to expect a football match to trump your parents' special occasion.

That said, it's highly likely that the low-key chain pub will have the match on the telly and the resulting atmosphere will not lend itself to a nice quiet family celebration.

I would speak again to your parents, gently suggesting that rather than sit amongst the footie fans slurping their Stella and cheering loudly, it might be nicer to rebook for Sunday lunch.

AlternativePerspective · 01/07/2021 08:39

I’m surprised there isn’t a petition yet to request that we be given a bank holiday if England win, now that they’ve beaten Germany. Grin

Zilla1 · 01/07/2021 08:41

How selfish of them. And they dare to think of themselves as close family. Will no one think of the children?

Does anyone know when the semi final is due if and when England win as I might need to reschedule my combined wedding and life-saving surgery for which I've been waiting several years.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 01/07/2021 08:43

Did you wait until a week before to book it in the expectation that England would have lost against Germany and be safely out of it all by now?

Is it their 60th anniversary, and they're extra peeved now because they've never forgotten that the same thing happened for their 5th? Grin

I agree with others, though: they now know/suspect that you'll be itching and/or looking at your phones throughout, and they and their anniversary will just be getting in your way.

We're not at all interested in football - not even if England are playing because we're not interested in football and England playing is still football but I can sort of understand by reference to Eurovision. We wouldn't arrange anything at all to clash with that, but then we would always check out the dates in advance and arrange in accordance; plus it's only about eight hours in total, over three evenings, and doesn't take over the telly schedules for weeks and weeks for entire afternoons/evenings at a time.

H1Drangea · 01/07/2021 08:43

I think your patents are being very unreasonable , it’s their anniversary , doesn’t have anything to do with your DH ( or you and your DB really )
I’m guessing it’s not a big special anniversary , I think they’re being daft and a bit selfish
Let your DH stay home and watch it , he can text you the updates 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Beanybob · 01/07/2021 08:49

You've asked them, and they've said no. Are they being unreasonable? Maybe, but that's what they've decided, and it is for THEIR anniversary, so no point having a strop about it.

So now you either suck it up, or don't go. Decide which is the priority for you.

The score will be the same whether you watch or not, and you can watch highlights later (for days, if we win). If we don't win you've saved yourself several tedious hours and had a nice meal with your family instead.