How do you make life fun? Or is it just boring at age 43?

[Ssshhdog]

I miss fun! Proper fun..I’m not even sure what that looks like tbh. Do you have fun? Or does it sort of stop after your 30’s/when you have kids?( had Dd at 40, adore her and life is sort of fun, but in a very different way) it was a definite fun before this.

@Panaesthesia I agree. Take the child!

I took my child to the beach in the evening to drink a small glass of wine. Or a bottle, if my husband drove.

Take the kid to play in the sea/sand. Take a little car shower, pyjamas and a buggy. Eat fish and chips, settle tired kid down, drink the wine!

I took my kid abroad. Cheap and not so cheap trips. We climbed mountains, we swam in lakes, we ate in street markets, we looked at temples. Ok, it’s different, but it’s still ace, and when they hit 5, the kids clubs are a great option!

Don’t martyr yourself. Most children have another parent? Share the load and each have time away.

Cam Yes, I know what you mean. I need to find a couple of new groups of friends who actually want to socialise. As another poster mentioned, I could do with knowing some people who have energy about them and who are instigators of good fun. I have known people like this in the past but they seem fairly rare (they now live abroad). I have m/h issues which I'm trying to resolve and I think a couple of groups of lovely friends would be a real tonic. There are many activities I enjoy doing alone such as gardening and reading but I am definitely missing the social aspect and I think I need to be in contact with people more (obviously when covid permits).

Loving all the great tips on this thread. Mine is just to try to make friendly connections wherever- not always ‘fun’ but usually worthwhile emotionally in some way and then I’ll hopefully have a wider circle to call on for doing fun things again when the time comes. My difficulty on the ‘fun’ is not drinking alcohol and a lot of fun stuff still revolves around booze it seems.. anyway this is a useful note to self to pencil in some more fun things.

@IvorHughJarrs

For those of you holding up retirement as great future hope - don't! My experience, and that of friends of similar age is that men become very "settled" and set in their ways. They are happy to walk the distance required to play golf and a sandwich afterwards but suggest a walk in a city with lunch out and the shock is as though you've suggested slaughtering their firstborn! If your life is dull now I promise you it will be duller when they retire The one positive for friends and I over Covid is that we have resolved to plan days out and weekends away for ourselves instead of wasting energy trying to cajole our other halves into them

We don't all have male partners, or partners at all!

I'm 44 and have loads of fun but I don't have children, and got divorced a few years ago.

I found new friends through meetup.com and I am out almost every evening in normal times. Even now, my weekend plans have been cancelled due to covid but I've re-arranged and I'm wild swimming tomorrow evening, hiking on Saturday and going for lunch on Sunday.

It was an effort to make new friends and start up new hobbies, but it was worth every second.

@IvorHughJarrs

Not everyone has a partner, male or otherwise, so just as I can now, I’ll be doing what I want in retirement.

I do agree however, if you think that your life is dull now, when you have relative youth, probably health and an income, you will probably find retirement duller.
My life is not dull now, at least to me, there is no reason for it to be duller when I am free from work.

OP without doubt the very happiest day of my entire life was at a music festival with DC (no mood enhancers were taken ) watching my favourite band sing a song we all adored. DC were maybe 8 and 9 at the time.
We have had happy nights on holiday in Italy and France, drinking wine topped up with lots of sparkling water while we played cards with DC as the sun goes down, after brilliant days on the beach or exploring cities. The art of enjoying life after DC is to stop mourning life pre-Dc and find new ways to have fun with them not despite them. Real fun, not compromise. You'll find a way.

Also when DC were very young I was in a babysitting circle that partied so hard it kept having to recruit new members so the old ones could keep going out together. We went abroad and one weekends away too (without DC or DHs several times - things I'd never have dared even suggest to DH or DC without their persuasion.) If you really want to have fun in the old pre-DC way, maybe find a similar set up locally of women who have DC and understand your commitments but also are intent on going out and having fun too.