How do you make life fun? Or is it just boring at age 43?

[Ssshhdog]

I miss fun! Proper fun..I’m not even sure what that looks like tbh. Do you have fun? Or does it sort of stop after your 30’s/when you have kids?( had Dd at 40, adore her and life is sort of fun, but in a very different way) it was a definite fun before this.

Usually travel, holidays & city breaks as I love exploring new places. Eating out, food & drink festivals, theatre, concerts. I also have fun hiking, watching sports, playing netball.

Take up mountain biking. So much fun & even better with a likeminded group of women

@Sugarcoatedalmond

Take up mountain biking. So much fun & even better with a likeminded group of women

Might be a bit tricky with a three year old!

Im 31 and life is no fun. I have 2 DC and DP works away Monday to Friday so between my FT job, the kids, the house and sleep I have no time to myself and no fun. I try to have fun with the kids but often Im so stressed by other things that it takes over. I tried to take the kids to the park earlier (day off) and 2yo threw a massive tantrum so we had to come home. Summer is my busiest time at work with loads of overtime needed . I want to cry about it but have to keep it in cos I dont want 7yo to see me upset. Nobody cares that I'm finding life tough at the minute. I wish someone cared about me.

38, no kids and no fun here. Other half isn’t much fun and he lives for doing practical stuff. Not one for laughing and joking (ASD). I am cheery on the outside but dying inside. Genuinely cannot see the point of existing tbh. Life is totally meh. Just chores, work, sleep. Why do we bother?

For me fun comes from the people around me. If they are lovely and funny and interested in life and in doing new things, going new places, and revisiting places we already enjoy...then we will have fun. I am lucky to have friends, family and colleagues who bring that to my life.

I can be perfectly content on my own or with DS, but we would lack sparkle and freshness without other people hauling me out of my rut.

@cornflowersandpoppies well, yes, but can the child's father or another relative not watch it for a few hours? Men carve out time for themselves all the time. You can do the same.

Women with partners shouldn't have to think they can only have hobbies where they lug the kids along. Yes, harder if you're single, but maybe there are parents, or even consider booking a childminder so you can have one day a week/fortnight/month to yourself?

@Sparrowfeeder

38, no kids and no fun here. Other half isn’t much fun and he lives for doing practical stuff. Not one for laughing and joking (ASD). I am cheery on the outside but dying inside. Genuinely cannot see the point of existing tbh. Life is totally meh. Just chores, work, sleep. Why do we bother?

You don't have kids, so why stay in the dismal relationship? Life is fun if you're out there and living it. You could have a diary of plans with friends, a calendar of events to go to. Do it now and just leave the misery guts behind :)

I have fun but a different kind of fun than in my 20s. We took the children to the fairground and had a fun time, I didn’t go on many rides but enjoyed seeing their little faces. It was great fun, having big ice creams and getting soaked on the log flume…

@cornflowersandpoppies
Might be a bit tricky with a three year old!

Leave the kid at home. No need to be a martyr. Separation will good for both the parent and the child.

Meh, it's not your age, it's the fact you have a 3 year old and that the world has been a bit crap for the last 18 months or more with Covid. It has sucked the fun and spontaneity out of everything, which toddlers also do so you have had a double whammy.

I'm 47 and generally enjoy life but it's been crap being on edge the whole time with working in a dicey industry (travel) and the kids being in-out-in-out of education etc.

Join a choir - that's my advice, it's fun and you can't think of anything else whilst you're trying to hold a part!

Not sure what you mean by "proper" fun OP.

That is very subjective.

Does in mean getting wasted on a hen night/going to Alton Towers/playing croquet/camping/taking drugs/playing poker/samba classes?

Fun means different things to different people.
I am in my late 50s, no young kids now and I have a lot of fun doing stuff I enjoy.

I'm 43 and with a 2 year old. I agree with pp covid was a major fun sucker alongside having a toddler and I'm a lone parent too. I am quite an outdoors person so we will be camping and taking some bike rides. So far the furthest I've cycled with her is 40 km in a day and she was fine as long as I have good breaks and snacks for her. It has to be a compromise. Night life fun is thoroughly on hold and I have no idea if or when that can resume!

I genuinely find I have quite a lot of fun in life but I couldn't give you reams of evidence to prove that statement. I just extract a lot of pleasure out of stuff other people would file under mundane or troublesome. Easily pleased I guess, make of that what you will

Yes you can at 43 though your DD is very young and it can feel mundane with preschoolers. I found once they hit 5 life gets much more fun.

@Summernamechange2021 that sounds really tough. I don't have any helpful advice, except to say that it I'm sure will get better as your 2yo gets older.

@cornflowersandpoppies

*Sugarcoatedalmond
Take up mountain biking. So much fun & even better with a likeminded group of women

Might be a bit tricky with a three year old*

I have a 3 year old myself. I mountain bike when she’s with her dad. We also use a Mac Ride seat (check out @macridemore on Instagram) so DC rides with us (on appropriate trails)

It’s all pretty dull after having children tbh. I spend probably 99% of my life doing things I have no interest in, listening to boring stories from my dc, running round behind the dc, attending boring things for the dc.
I think it’s having dc, not an age thing. Basically: they are joy suckers.

But that was an interest before children sugar? it would be very time consuming and expensive to invest in as a beginner with a three year old?

Has the OP even given us an idea of what "fun" means?

Otherwise it's pointless suggesting activities.

I would rather have root canal work done than go mountain biking- but each to their own.

I'm 43 with a 4 year old and think my life is definitely lacking fun right now. I was just about coping precovid but right now I have no social life at all. I miss going to work and seeing colleagues who I've worked with for a decade and am close to. I miss my weekly escape to running club. Life is no fun :-(

@cornflowersandpoppiesYes mountain biking was something I had done before DC but I’m more into it now than I was pre-DC. Yes it costs money so I guess not an option if money very tight.

@speakout totally agree. I guess I’m just making the point that you can be middle aged and have kids & still have proper fun. I also ride horses which I think is fun but again not everyone would . On the other hand some people think getting pissed is fun, I don’t!

Well I've tried to have affairs and sleep with various men but they don't seem to want to know. So instead I've started gardening (unsuccessfully) and selling stuff on marketplace

I'm 41, married and have 8 and 10 y old dc. We don't have a lot of money but we have fun by going on short holidays, daytrips and walks. We have special meals at home such as barbecues and family buffets. We are silly together and dance and sing about the house. We play tricks on each other and tease each other. We watch daft videos on YouTube. We have shared and separate hobbies.

I think life feeling grey can sometimes be an indicator of struggling with current challenges - eg having little time, money, too much ‘drudge’ - and/or MH low points.

Good point Dozer, almost all of these apply too me plus exacerbated by relationship issues (heading off to therapy soon). I have a pre-schooler plus older children at school...as much as I love the puddle splashing etc. I have done it 3 times over now and I want a bit of time back for me (staying up late to reclaim a bit of me time doesn't help the situation either). I am hoping to work (low key) self employed eventually doing something I enjoy. Youngest heads off to pre-school in Sept. and I want to make the most of the hours I will have alone during the day...doing things for me for once (long overdue as not much support in real life).

I want to expand my social network when lockdown eases too, I do very little outside of the home (partially due to m/h but in the process of getting help). I've also decided I'm not going to funnel my time into something I don't find fun/therapeutic.