How do you make life fun? Or is it just boring at age 43?

[Ssshhdog]

I miss fun! Proper fun..I’m not even sure what that looks like tbh. Do you have fun? Or does it sort of stop after your 30’s/when you have kids?( had Dd at 40, adore her and life is sort of fun, but in a very different way) it was a definite fun before this.

I’m in my 50’s now and have lots of fun but then I don’t have kids.

I’m 41 and have massive amounts of fun! But my kids are 9 & 7 so out of the drudgery years.
Last weekend we took the kids to a hotel to celebrate our anniversary and went on banana boats, kayaks etc.
Tonight we’ve booked tickets to see Fast9 at the movies for DH and I, we go out partying, hang out with friends, travelled a lot (before Covid) etc.

Fun comes back once kids get a bit older, but fun entirely depends on what you define as “fun” really.

I feel like this is less about being 43 and more about having a 3 year old

I also find life is lacking fun atm. Covid has really squeezed a lot out of life and small children are hard work. I'm trying to enjoy the little things and remind myself what I actually enjoy in life.

I'm same age - we made a conscious choice to slow down big nights out etc in the run up to starting a family, not that we were massive party-ers or anything, but we did go clubbing a bit I suppose. At any rate, we didn't want to feel kids had stopped all of that, but we did have both sets of parents nearby so we did still go out on occasion. Middle aged tiredness has mostly put paid to clubbing though, I don't think I could manage past 1am anywhere now!

We've also always liked doing cultural/historical stuff too though so that makes most of our fun now.

I’m 47 and have fun but that’s because my dses are older teens and they don’t cramp my style any more🤣🤣

I definitely think it’s having a 3 year old, I was younger when my dses were similar ages and don’t recall much fun at all. Everything that should have been fun just became a military exercise and a test in endurance.

Life is expensive with Uni age teens but so much less labor intensive and being able to go out and go away without the dses is just wonderful. I love them to bits but after 18 years, it is lovely to get your freedom back.

@Flexibleowl

It’s all pretty dull after having children tbh. I spend probably 99% of my life doing things I have no interest in, listening to boring stories from my dc, running round behind the dc, attending boring things for the dc. I think it’s having dc, not an age thing. Basically: they are joy suckers.

But why do you do this? If you spend 99% of your life "attending boring things" then just, I dunno, don't do that? Take them to one class, read a book while they're there, then leave them with their other parent and do something you want to do.

Bored people are boring. You're the one choosing to sit and moan and speak disparagingly about your kids, so why not make the difference?

Kids are older now (junior and secondary), BTW, so we're past small kids type stuff.

I’m 56, fun did not stop for me after university,

Some years were better than others, the year I lost a baby wasnt much fun, the year I split from my partner wasn’t much fun either, nor was the year I was ill and needed surgery.
If you want fun its not hard to find, just do what you are interested in.
But fun doesnt mean the same thing to everyone, I don’t like alcohol do drinking isnt much fun for me, I love my allotment, and have lots of fun there. I go to comedy shows, theatre, gigs, cinema, lots of fun.
I’m going on holiday with my son on Friday, amongst other things I will take tremendous pleasure in thrashing him at mini golf.

@Summernamechange2021 I have felt like this, when I was a single mum it often felt like being invisible, no one saw if I was doing stuff with my kids or sticking them in front of the telly, it was like existing without living, it’s hard when your partner isn’t there.
I took the plunge and posted on my local fb page along the lines of ‘any mums in the area with kids age this and this fancy a tea time play date?’ I ended up with about ten replies, formed. WhatsApp group, 6 of us who regularly met up for quick pub tea or kids tea and wine at one person’s house- through summer we’d sometimes put bubble bath and warm water in the paddling pool- bath time done! Put yourself out there, what’s the worst that can happen?

I found life with toddlers incredibly fun because I got a lot of pleasure from them experiencing things for the first time and loving them - steam train rides and steam fairs, petting zoos etc. I appreciate not everyone enjoys this stuff, but if you do make the most of it while they are young.

Since DC grew up a bit, I've had a bucket list of my own which I add to and frequently tick things off. Some things are achievements or big To Do list things like redecorating our house, but lots are just fun - stuff I want to do like going to a drive in movie or a gig by a favourite band or comedian etc. Make a long list and be proactive about ensuring at leats one good thing from it gets ticked off each month. Ideally more often.

I'm going to a rave in September I'm 42! Cannot wait.

I don't think age is a barrier for having fun. Kids can definitely be joy suckers sometimes but my DS generally adds to the fun in the house most of the time. Fun things we do as a family: tickle fights, playing Mario Kart, board games, pulling wellies on and splashing in puddles, running around with the dog when she has the zoomies, days out, baking, film nights etc...
Fun as a couple: making cocktails together and playing our favorite songs, watching our fave tv shows, going out for drinks and dinner (back when we had easy access to grandparents or babysitters!), meeting up with friends, gigs or comedy shows, (pre COVID obviously)
Fun alone: reading curled up under blankets, solo trips out, staying in pjs all day and watching junk, cooking something new...
Not everyone's idea of fun but if something gives you joy or makes you happy then you should factor time in to do it.

@disculpe See I love all those, but the majority I can’t do with a toddler 🙈even having time out to curl up under a blanket a read would be a treat 🤣
It’s definitely the toddler thing..oh and covid!

I have lots of fun with Dd, but I guess I meant the sort of fun I had before-Pre Dd and pre covid-lots of exciting travel and weekends away, festivals, drinking wine on sunset beaches..that type of fun, I’m thinking it will be a long while before that ever returns!

What do you do when your 3 year old is watching tv? When my 3 year old is watching tv, that’s when I read/paint/do Pilates. If your 3 year old isn’t allowed tv, I’d look to change that as of tomorrow 😂

@Terrazzo No way could I concentrate on reading when she’s watching tv 🙈if I were to paint, she’d be all up in it. I’m generally making dinner or tidying crap up when she’s watching tv

S & M?

[quote Ssshhdog]@disculpe See I love all those, but the majority I can’t do with a toddler 🙈even having time out to curl up under a blanket a read would be a treat 🤣
It’s definitely the toddler thing..oh and covid!

I have lots of fun with Dd, but I guess I meant the sort of fun I had before-Pre Dd and pre covid-lots of exciting travel and weekends away, festivals, drinking wine on sunset beaches..that type of fun, I’m thinking it will be a long while before that ever returns![/quote]
Do them with the kid.

I took my little ones to Sicily, Milan, Amsterdam and Bilbao, pre-Covid. Cheap flights, lovely apartment - also cheap. They ate pasta, went to the beach. Rode a cable car. Saw beautiful ruins, walked through villages and cities. Boat rides. They were well-behaved in art galleries and on country walks. If I want to see a city I just go, kids love the adventure.

Drinking wine in the sunset, OK, sounds like a weekend away? Do they have grandparents? Arrange it. Book it in the calendar. No need to ponder wistfully - book things! :)

All the most fun stuff has been shut for over a year.

Try something new that’s open. I did goape recently, the zipwire was fun. Maybe horse riding.

Mostly I’m not having fun either tbh, the stuff I used to enjoy is either closed or has become dull. Need new activities. And new friends!

I don't think it's an age thing- I'm 10 years younger and my life definitely isn't fun. I think it's about working out what you enjoy and trying to build in some fun times.

It's been super hard to have fun recently no??

Otherwise go to London op... Find streets paved with gold and people wanting to have a good time m

@DDIJ

All fun and enjoyment stops the day you finish university and then it is just drudgery and misery until you retire when you can do something fun.

Well that’s depressing! I’ve not long left university

Covid stops fun anyway so enjoy your child and by the time the world can have fun again you’ll be more ready!

Yeah I don’t think it’s an age thing either. I’m 23 and have been early 20s throughout the pandemic- my life has been boring as fuck

I’m enjoying going out more but eating out gets boring the 12th weekend in a row! And the booking system puts a dampener on spontaneous plans

I think we’ll all feel better once restrictions ease further, we’re not quite back to normal yet. It would be fun to go out to a concert/club/theatre etc instead or even go on holiday !

I'm 43 and have a 3yr old and a 7yr old. And a part time job and a dh who works long hours. However I've been doing couch 2 5k in the evenings once 3yr old in bed and it's really perked me up. My dh tends to cook for us so he does that whilst Im out. I've then challenged myself to do 10k steps a day. I know it's not hugely fun but it's improved my mood and given me head space.