To not check the prices of my DDs birthday presents?

[PassionFruitJaffaCake]

AIBU to think no-one does this or am I odd?
My DD recently had a birthday.

She’s still young enough to not care how much something costs.

My mum insisted on going through every present with her and then googling it to see how much someone may or may not have spent, and then ranking that on how much the person likes DD. Obviously anyone from her family who spent a small amount (her opinion of a small amount is £20 or under) is struggling for money but anyone from my dad’s family (they’re not together) who spent a small amount doesn’t like DD very much.

So my mums sister and BIL spending £15 were struggling financially, whereas my dad’s sister and BIL spending £12 meant they don’t like DD very much – it didn’t matter to her that DD loved both presents and ended up playing with the toys given together (both got her a doll like a Barbie but not Barbie they each got her a different brand, both ended up in DDs Barbie house and she now couldn’t tell you which aunt got her which doll).

I honestly don’t care what anyone spends on me or DD for Birthdays or Christmas, someones taken time out of their day to choose a present and spent their money whether they’ve spent £1 or £100. When choosing presents especially for family I think less about how much it costs and more about whether the recipient will like it, I am sure my family on both sides think the same.

Mum says everyone checks the prices of presents nowadays and forms an opinion of someone based on how much they spend. She seemed to think I was the odd one.

AIBU to think no-one does this? Or am I really strange in not doing this?

Your mum sounds incredibly mercenary

Not nice

Was your mum like that when you were growing up?
Perhaps ask her when she started thinking this is normal. Maybe she got a false impression from social media, or feels insecure about her family's financial position compared to your in-laws.
Clearly this is not normal behaviour, but if you understand her reasoning it might help you show her that it isn't normal so she doesn't do it anymore.

That is batshit. No one is doing that apart from very grabby people.

Sorry I know it's your mum, but that's terrible behaviour.

There's a quote somewhere....'some people are so poor, all they have is money. '

That is seriously weird behaviour by your mother. She sounds awful.

Well done for not being like her, OP!!

You’re asking the wrong question OP.

No, no one does this. You’re mum doesn’t even care about the price of the gifts - it’s a manipulation tactic to turn your DD against your dad’s side of the family.

I can’t believe you sat back and allowed your mum to do that to your daughter.

I'm a pushover when it comes to my mum, I feel very guilty so I just let her do things and sort out the consequences later.

Good luck sorting out the consequences once your mum sees you as a threat to your DD’s affections and starts turning her against you.

I'm a pushover when it comes to my mum, I feel very guilty so I just let her do things and sort out the consequences later

You’re failing your daughter. Grow up and deal with it OP

Because she'd do it anyway as all presents from her family go via her, and she asks what it is. She also asks DD what Auntie X from my dads family got her.
Then just be vague. "Oh, Auntie X got Olivia a doll. What kind? Well, you know they're all the same to me but she's very pleased with it..."

Gosh, your Mum is horrible! I have a limit of £10 for children’s birthday parties and that includes the gift bag and card. There’s no way I’d spend more than this, it’s ridiculous especially when they were younger and got invited to parties every other week.

I'd look up the cost of gifts but only because i would be worried that a person had spent far too much on the gift. Not to gauge how much they cared.

Please protect your daughter. Your mum will destroy her sef confidence. When we have children they should take priority.

Your mum is for want of a better phrase utterly bat shit.

As for giving your dd the idea that liking people and money are linked she's round the twist. My best friend does not have much spare cash but still makes me lovely food if I go to her for lunch... I sometimes buy her a meal out. Does the fact that the lovely home made bread and soup she gave me which probably cost £2-3 overall mean that she likes me less than I like her because I spent £25 on a meal in a pub for us both?

If your dd learns to value things by money rather than action she's on a bad path and I'd tell your mum exactly that.

Your mum is definitely the odd one.some of the things kids love best cost the least and are the most valued gifts.

Your mum's behaviour is highly unusual and just straight-up lame.