Do you want her to end up playing mindgames with your DS when he gets older?
I’m not sure if she would.
She gets on very well with my siblings and I haven’t seen her display this toxic behavior towards my brothers, actually she favors them. I’ve always had a bad relationship with my DF (I suspect he’s a narcissist and she is his codependent). My best friend says my DM sees me as her rival.
Your call, but don't be too sure.
With you halfway round the world, her frustration at losing control of her Whipping Girl will be significant.
At some point she may decide DS will make a great Flying Monkey, & she won't care about his psyche if she does so. Or she will use him in some form of selfish, deluded triangulation.
This is genuine concern btw, not looking to scold or lecture you. You do you - but manage any contact with DS very, very, scrupulously.
I'm so sorry you have all the frustration not just of dealing with the incessant batshittery, but the sadness of never being 'seen' as you, or taken at your word.
It's hard, managing all this deliberate misunderstanding, drama, & your own feelings of sorrow & anger, when forced to deal with ill-wishing people who focused solely on their own narrative of casting you as a villain so they can enjoy the all the thrills of another potshot at you.
I've only read this one incident re: your mother, but can see the pattern. She is dysfunctional & exhausting, & I am sorry you have had to deal with that, especially through your younger life.
Three cheers that you've put half a planet between you - stay strong, & forget about her feelings toward your son. ONLY consider his feelings in this regard.