AIBU to ask if you remove friends who have died from Facebook?

[BatFaceGirly]

I've realised that I'm still friends with 3 friends on Facebook who have very sadly died and it got me thinking about why I've not unfriended them.

Their profiles aren't 'memorial' type pages now or anything and I can't work out whether to just leave it be or delete. I think I'd find it a bit painful to remove them but I also find it painful knowing they're there. No idea why this is.

What would or do you do?

I'd keep them because because don't see a reason to delete but there is a way of removing notifications so that you don't get reminded of shared memories on an annual basis of you don't want to.

I’ve still got 2 friends profiles on Facebook that have died (sadly too young) I was purging my friends list and just couldn’t bring myself to I friend them. I would lose pictures of theirs I’m tagged in and they’re precious memories

I keep mine there. One was my BFF and we used to message all the time. I like to look back over the messages from time to time. Her DH moved on about a year after she died, with a new girlfriend, and I think they will get married soon. She left him a VERY rich widower. Obviously I didn’t expect him to sit around and mope forever, but he was internet dating literally months after she had died.

I understand what you mean, my friends mum died several years ago but i cannot bring myself to remove her from my Facebook friends list.

I keep mine. Only one friend, but I love it when it would have been her birthday and she pops up. Always with the photo of the last time we got together. Lots of mutual friends post on her timeline still from time to time too just to say they are thinking of her.

Oh blimey, good question!

Don't what I would do actually as this has never happened. No-one close to me has died since I have had facebook (Well, 2 elderly relatives died 4 and 6 years ago, but they never had facebook.)

Sometimes the family turns the facebook page into a memorial page, so if it was a friend, (like in your case,) I would just keep the deceased person there. For a couple of years at least. If it upsets you, maybe just unfollow? So the person is still there, but nothing comes onto your feed.

I have two and it's always felt wrong to remove them - even though I wasn't particularly close to either of them (one is a friend from school and the other one I used to work with).

Well I've removed two. One was an old school friend but he was someone I didn't interact with from one year to the next so it feels .... odd for him to still be there? And the other was someone I 'met' years ago online - he was an online buddy but we hadn't messaged for a good year or so

The third I can't remove. One of my best friends. Just find it a bit painful her being there sometimes

I leave mine but I know what you mean, it’s a bit of a strange feeling.

When dbro died I wanted to remove his Facebook page. His friends asked me not to do I didn't and it's still there 5 years later.

I never look at it but dh has him as a friend still and says people post on his birthday etc. He was never a prolific poster tbh and I don't see the harm but I also don't love that it's there.

I deleted them. I use it to keep on touch with people so..🤷🏻‍♀️

My friend died and his wife deleted his fb as she didn't want birthday notifications etc. He pops up though in my fb memories which is lovely. I still have texts he sent as well.

It's also worth thinking about what you want to do with your own page, in the event of your own death. You can nominate one of your FB friends to act as your legacy contact, so they can access things you've posted.

It's in 'settings' (under your profile) and called Memorialisation settings.

A school friend of mine died, she had 4 young children. Every so often her husband or parents of her children’s friend tag her photos which then pop up on my timeline. It’s really lovely seeing her children group up, one really is a mini version of my friend.

I am about to have my late father's Facebook deleted. I really don't want people randomly posting stuff on it on his birthday or the anniversary of his death.

For the most part, I've "de-friended" friends who have died.

There are a couple who I cannot bring myself to lose though so they remain

Could you hide them on FB? That could be a good halfway measure between deleting or keeping, I think. Not sure if it will also hide birthday notifications, I imagine so.

I have lots on my Facebook that have died. My dad, my mother in law, a few friends, my husband.... I like to see the memories.

No I don’t delete. That just feels awful. Isn’t it nice to be able to go back and look at photos of a person you cared about. It’s an online scrapbook of their life.

Shocked when I got a message from dead relative. Then found out their partner had taken over the FB account.

I have 2.

Both died far too young of cancer.

Cant explain why I won't delete but I just cannot and don't want to.

I have my Dad. Every now and then I look and a friend or former colleague of his has left a message or tagged him in something, other family members tag him in photos. I can go back and look at things he posted (not much as he died more than a decade ago). I’d hate to delete him.

One face of DILs father pops up occasionally I smile and think of him. Bitter sweet he won't get to see his grandchildren grow up

You must do what you feel is best for you. I assume if you unfriend you can't refriend them? The closest I have to this is when my Nana died I took her number from my phone because I got such a jolt when I saw it after she had been gone a bit. Later I put it back in then took it out again as realised I was being daft.

No and I can’t bring myself to delete them from my phone either. I like them popping up occasionally.