To be annoyed that the class parents' Xmas party is 'Mums Only' as one of the Dads has been having an affair with one of the Mums!

[quandry]

So.... because two parents are behaving badly, 40 other Dads are not invited to the Xmas bash?

The PTA organiser said she thought it would be a bit 'insensitive' - WTF?

Message withdrawn

TMMJ - no, not that bothered, but there are lots of Dads who are involved in the school / drop offs/ pick -ups etc, so all know each other etc.
I just think it's a bizarre decision, that's all .
Yes - I think the Mum having the affair IS going btw..

We try to make ours mums only but some people still insist on bringing their other halves.

They are usually the people who have one glass of water and a salad and query the bill.

Message withdrawn

Then you need to gang up on her at the party and shove her face in the jelly. Am chuckling at PTA as guardian of parental morals..

My dh would rather lose his nadgers in a trouser press than go to a pta do.

I think all schools should ban all parents from PTA Christmas dos .

Why would you 'try' to make it Mums only Buda?

A lot of the other parents are our friends and so it would otherwise be a fairly jolly night out. As it is, having to spend it just with the Mums becomes more of a chore really.

It is the only Year group in the whole school that is doing this (Mums only) btw, so it appears very odd anyway.

We generally do 'Mums night out' ... trouble with doing M&D things is then you need a babysitter. Once one of the Dads wrote 'wot about Dads' on the sign up sheet to which the response was 'ORGANIZE YOUR OWN'. Which they did, and you dont want to hear the rumours of what they got up to (my DH didn't go, I doubt he'd have survived...)

TMMJ - yes - 2 marriages broken up over it, house moves imminent

alittleone2 - yes - that's what I mean about the skewed logic?
Surely it would have been better to let everyone come and let the two people involved decide whether they want to show their face or not?

Our class rep decided to make the night out this term as a "mums only" thing this year too. Was for both parents last year, was good fun and loads went. This year hardly anyone went. I didn't bother.

Your PTA could extend the invite to "faithful mums and dads"?

You should ask the PTA why they are victimizing the woman doing the cheating and siding with her as they are only allowing mums, and criminalizing the dads as they are punishing them all.

In all fairness, all mums and dads should be invited, the cheating parties should have tact enough to stay away.

This is giving out such horrible messages. It is ok for women to cheat, but not men.

What if two mums were having an affair with eachother, would they only invite dads?

Hmm - that's also what I mean, Hulababy. There are usually enough work/ clubs parties for just Mum or Dad at this time of year as it is. If it's 'Mums Only' then it's another £40 spent at Xmas when you can least afford it.

DH actually quite enjoys these things - they are the same Dads as he sees at the rugby club or swimming or whatever.

I much prefer a mums night out rather than one of those awfully coupley evenings

Oh god that's sick...and heterosexist

oops, meant that in response to the op!

Are PTA really mums only? And then we moan about fathers not taking on their share of childcare? I'm actually amazed that no one seems to mind the fact that any pta only targets mums.

Is it a faith school? Is there a reason why the PTA are being judgemental?

Buda have just read your post - it raised a wry smile

I don't know the answers to all those questions!

I just think it's been badly thought through...

• even if Dads were invited, not all of them would come, so it's not as if there would just be 'one single mum' there
• doubt the affected parties will come anyway - it's still all rather 'raw' by all accounts.

Just seems a pointless discussion - perhaps well-meant orginally, but pointless. Not least because everyone in the school is saying 'Why is the Year 2 evening out just for Mums?'

I would be very suprised if any of the involved parties went to the do no matter what the invite says.
I also think it is none of the PTA's business what has gone on and they shouldn't be a) discussing it (even under the guise of 'sensitivity') and b) be tailoring their Xmas do around it