To think table manners are on the decline

[RankManners]

inspired by current thread on table manners...
I work in a primary school and am shocked by the lack of table manners. Thinking that year 3 or 4 (age 8/9) is a suitable age to be able to use cutlery properly, I'd say about 2 children in each class do this. I'm talking eating sweetcorn (and pretty much everything) with fingers, putting a chicken breast on a fork and eating it like a lolly, eating a jacket potato by scraping the insides off on bottom teeth etc.

Similarly in a restaurant, you'll see parents with decent table manners and then kids eating like animals - how can parents not notice this??

(I'm your average WC parent, nothing posh here, but was bought up with standards!)
So AIBU it's the way things are going
YANBU manners separate us from animals

This drives me nuts. My partner's 8 year old has horrendous table manners to the extent that I have to leave the room when she's eating certain things. Like meat for example. She chews the meat, pulls it out of her mouth, takes a good look and puts it back in

He seems oblivious. What's wrong with people's standards?

@RankManners

inspired by current thread on table manners... I work in a primary school and am shocked by the lack of table manners. Thinking that year 3 or 4 (age 8/9) is a suitable age to be able to use cutlery properly, I'd say about 2 children in each class do this. I'm talking eating sweetcorn (and pretty much everything) with fingers, putting a chicken breast on a fork and eating it like a lolly, eating a jacket potato by scraping the insides off on bottom teeth etc. Similarly in a restaurant, you'll see parents with decent table manners and then kids eating like animals - how can parents not notice this?? (I'm your average WC parent, nothing posh here, but was bought up with standards!) So AIBU it's the way things are going YANBU manners separate us from animals

To be honest, the way some adults hold their cutlery and then use is beyond me. Kids don't stand a chance

Re chopsticks, my girls wanted to learn how to use them from around five, which was great. I'd only learned in adulthood (my uncle sent me to eat in the kitchen once, because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks!) Very few of their friends, and an awful lot of adults don't know how to eat with them - which is absolutely fine, but I find it tedious when some adults seem to think it's a virtue not to be able to do so - weird!)

We had a friend of our daughter's come to a sleepover, and she'd never eaten with a knife and fork - it was wonderful how the kids were absolutely fine with that, and they all pitched in to show her how, when she decided she wanted to give it the old college try. (We were absolutely fine with her eating whatever she wanted, how she wanted.)

@Heneage

It's how the Americans are shown as eating especially in cartoons

I was about to post something similar.

It's another encroachment of American behaviour, picked up from TV and cartoons, sadly.

And yet that awful American behavior is about more sensible manners. Perhaps you're the sad one.

Every mealtime ends up in an argument with my 10 year old. He insists on having his knife and fork the wrong way round, we make his swap them
And then he’ll swap them back the wrong way when we’re not watching. All 3 of them do the chicken lollipop thing. Am fed up of hearing myself tell them to chop pieces off, not hold up the whole thing and nibble it. Eating with their hands…it’s hard to know how much to push it, and with just trying to get them to actually eat what’s on their plate, mealtimes can get quite stressful. We try and eat with them at weekends to set an example but frankly I much prefer eating separately so I can actually enjoy my food!

@choli

And yet that awful American behavior is about more sensible manners. Perhaps you're the sad one.

Err... que?

He insists on having his knife and fork the wrong way round, we make his swap them

Why?? It's adding completely unnecessary stress. It's like forcing left handed people to use their right hand to write. If he's comfier with them in the other hands then how is it affecting anybody else?

@Pigeonpocket

He insists on having his knife and fork the wrong way round, we make his swap them

Why?? It's adding completely unnecessary stress. It's like forcing left handed people to use their right hand to write. If he's comfier with them in the other hands then how is it affecting anybody else?

This. Why does it matter which way around they hold the knife and fork??

People saying "does it matter?"
Did you read the story about the junior solicitor being sent home because she was embarrassing the senior partner? Good social skills are part and parcel of being an adult.
That will have affected her career, it's fine for a toddler, not for an adult.

I’d be more inclined to vote if the OP’s phrasing of the choices weren’t so loaded.

@Sillyduckseverywhere

People saying "does it matter?" Did you read the story about the junior solicitor being sent home because she was embarrassing the senior partner? Good social skills are part and parcel of being an adult. That will have affected her career, it's fine for a toddler, not for an adult.

It depends on the table manners being discussed doesn't it? There are different levels of table manners.

Throwing food, chewing with your mouth open so everyone can see, spitting things out, being messy and unnecessarily noisy are obviously going to put other people off eating with you and children should be taught not to do those things.

Whereas eating with the knife and fork the wrong way round, using the fork the wrong way up, putting your knife down and only using a fork, using a spoon instead of a fork etc are all "bad manners" that make no logical sense and I fail to see how doing those things is embarrassing or impolite.

@letsgotrilobite I agree with this. My children are being taught the kind of table manners that mean they can eat politely in company. DS is a leftie, so I'm certainly not going to insist that he eats in a manner that is "wrong" for him - any more than I'd insist he writes with his right hand. I have an extremely mild "disability" (it's not a disability but it does mean I have reduced movement on one side of my body) so my parents never forced me to use the fork consistently in that hand because if I do have to do that, my manners deteriorate because it means I practically have to drop my face into my plate to reach my mouth.

I don't care if people have their index finger in exactly the right place etc.

But I DO care if my children can't cut food, eat with their mouths open or generally behave in a way that is unpleasant for anyone else to watch. They aren't allowed to grab food etc.

ok i know this thread is couple of months old but came across it and didn't want to just read and run. the poster who said that her ds's friend was spitting food everywhere including onto ds plate shouting, etc absolutely no way i would have that child back certainly not for a meal. and most of the other things mentioned in this thread i would certainly not be encouraging such as food fighting and generally pissing about at the table but to get worked up over which way to hold a knife and fork? is it really that big a deal? there is a fine line between letting dc get into disgusting table habits and going all ott and victorian. i don't see what's wrong with asking to help clear things away but obviously i wouldn't get up and just do it without asking if i could.