Looking better is more faff than it's worth?

[sugarcubess]

I have been feeling rubbish lately . I stopped having a fringe as I couldn't keep up with the fortnightly trims, same with gel nails far too much maintenance for hands and feet every 2/3 weeks. I grew out my natural brown hair colour as fed up of having roots within 4 weeks with a full head of highlights. Eyebrows need doing every 4-6 weeks approx . Wax my chin myself .

I don't have time to keep having these treatments but look/ feel rubbish without .

I have a toddler and pregnant with sickness & nausea still at 6 months . I also work. I will get fed up looking like crap so will book a beauty treatment which then is faff to attend and then I think great needs doing again after 2 weeks 😭

First world problems but what's the solution do I just leave it all and be natural ?

I don't think you have to make an absolute decision one way or another. You can do whatever suits you today and then change your mind tomorrow if you want.

When the new baby comes, you might decide you want your nails done again to have a place to go to get out of the house. Or you may not.

I don't think it has to be a forever decision at any point.

Thanks @PleasantBirthday . I have just booked full head of highlights for august after seeing how much better I looked 2 years ago on Facebook memories. At the same time I know I will not want the £120 upkeep and roots within 4 weeks .

You do or don't do whatever suits you.

I've never bothered with any of those things, and never will. I have never been arsed with makeup either.

Other people love those things you mention, but they are time consuming. There are many of us who don't bother with them.

Yes they are very time consuming . Which is very I have barely bothered for the last couple of years but then I see how awful my hair looks now in it's natural state . Still I don't want to sit for 3 hours in a salon having numerous foils painted through and handing over £120 😂

Part of it is money. Part is time.

I earn 10k less per year due to part time salary. I also work on the days my son has nursery. So the only days I could do these appointments is weekend ( when partner is here with son) but I would rather have family time !

Evenings are out of the question because I'm too tired these days.

After spending years getting highlights I stopped and everyone said I looked better, so that was a waste of money!

I use some serums and creams at home for skincare but that's the extent of my beauty regime. I've never been waxed anywhere, had gel nails or eyebrows done etc and I think I look fine as I am. None of those things are a necessity, it's pretty easy to keep yourself looking nice and presentable without having any treatments, it sounds like more of an issue with confidence in how you look rather than how you actually look

@Royalbloo yes I had them for years too. I did have a negative comment saying cant believe how much you have changed , so different without your blonde hair but I spose your a number now I was like 🤨 wtf is that supposed to mean. No one else has said anything like that . But I just seen old pics and how blonde I was and think I did look better. I am still growing out old colour so currently down to my ear is my natural brown and the rest is a little patchy

I literally have a. Full beard if I don't wax thank goodness for jolen £1 wax strips . I don't have much confidence / self esteem and find it painful to sit and have someone do treatments on me . I always think now I have declined in my looks I never feel they do as good a job as they think I look frumpy / mess anyway.

@Royalbloo sorry that was meant to say they said " I spose your a mum now" not number !

I was like you in the past.
Dyed my hair blonde, gel nails, tanning session every 2 weeks, lots and lots of makeup.

I now decided to love my natural auburn color, do my own nails, use SPF religiously and only use a bit of makeup.

I don’t think I look worse or better now, just more natural and more ‘me’.

@musthavebeenlove I think part of my low self esteem and thinking I look worse without the treatments is my weight gain. I really struggle in pregnancy with body image. I'm not super slim anyway but never bigger than 10 stone which is healthy for my 5 foot 8 frame and makes me a size 10-12. However in this pregnancy I'm already 11 stone 9 and my face looks rounded and swollen so that with the no waist and colour growing out and fringe growing out I feel awful but at the same time don't want to go to a salon and go through all the process again.

I think buffed and possibly clear-varnished fingernails look great and this is what I do. Much less high maintenance. If I'm really rushed I just massage almond oil into them.

Well conditioned and trimmed hair always looks good. Dior nail glow is brilliant for making nails look tidy and groomed in 5 minutes. Their Lip glow is fab too. Eyebrows worth getting done professionally but that's the least time consuming/expensive job.

if it helps I don't do anything apart from showers/baths, shaving legs & armpits, wash my hair and use Vaseline body lotions (especially on my hands & face).

I just don't do beauty treatments. my skin is not amazing but not awful either. I have some wrinkles but look younger than my age. I'm greying but I don't mind.
never had/tried fake anything, never even owned any foundation stuff, never had my eyebrows done (they are naturally nice, so don't need it)

I have some lipsticks and black mascara I use occasionally and sometimes I paint my nails. I had my eyelashes dyed for my wedding.
only had my hair dyed briefly when I was 19 (model for a hairdresser) then again for 6m when I was 21 (had a crew cut and had it dyed steel black as a very late act of rebellion🤣).
And I've cut my own hair for the last 12 years and it looks fine.

that's about it.
It's not a money or planet saving mission, there is no weird philosophy to refuse beauty treatments and certainly don't think I'm better than those who like or need those routines.
I'm not really concerned with what others do anyway!
I just don't feel the need & couldn't be arsed.

so I get that you are fed up and want to wind it down. I never had the headspace for it!

I feel you (pregnant with a toddler and working full time, and I also really struggle with the loss of my size 10 body).

Re the hair, why not go for balayage rather than highlights so that the upkeep is (far far) less?

Other than that, I would say be kind to yourself, and maybe recognise that while you don't have to put yourself under pressure to have the treatments, you do feel better when you have "done" nails/brows/hair etc, and come up with a compromise that makes you feel good without too much time/effort/money cost? I found a pedicure a really nice treat late in my last pregnancy, and you can get that in your lunch break if you have a salon near enough.

I have put dior nail glow on my birthday list!

My rule is nothing that needs 'upkeep'.

So I will have my brows threaded or tinted for an occasion or just because.. because it doesn't mean I need to go back in a certain time.
I will not have my hair dyed because that does require roots to be done regularly and looks worse grown out than it does natural.
I don't get my finger nails done, because chipped polish looks worse than none, but I go get gel on my toes because it lasts well enough and I can easily cover them if it grows out.

This is all attitude, the way your brain sees it, self esteem.

I have these things done occasionally. Highlights twice a year. Eyebrows and eyelashes dyed a couple or 3 times a year. Nails on occasion/for a party - quick £5 paint, which they do my cuticles and file them.

It doesn't need to be all or nothing. Change your mindset.

A good haircut and go back to your natural colour.
You could use a box colour to enhance and enrich your natural colour.

Natual buffed nails look great.
De hair at home via shaving or cream.

Have you thought of looking at an IPL machine for permanent hair removal for your face?

Well worth looking into.
Hair on the face is hormonal.
I was stunned to find a few wiry hairs from my chin a few years ago.
I pull them now but I would definitely buy a home removal gadget if I had a lot of facial hair.

I’ve always had a more natural look, I’ve never been arsed with beauty treatments. I shave everywhere rather than wax, paint my own nails and don’t wear very much make up. My eyebrows are natural because I quite like them, my Nan has always said I look like a young Brooke Shields mostly due to the eyebrows. I don’t look like her but I’ll take the compliment . Haven’t had my hair professionally done for years, it’s my natural colour which suits me best and I generally trim it myself. I’m fairly low maintenance I guess but not scruffy or anything! I’ve just never been very ‘girly’ and never felt the need to have long eyelashes and nails.

How about you spend this money on a hair stylist who'll do just a haircut for you, but a great one? You can say you're about to become a mum so you need something good but easy to maintain.
You can also try getting a nice maternity outfit that will make you feel beautiful. Your bump is only temporary, so embrace it. And you can find something nice and cheap in a charity shop.

And maybe think of doing a colour analysis with a stylist. They will tell you what colours suit you best and that can make a huge difference while it doesn't need much effort from you.

And remember, you are beautiful.

I don’t wear make up, get my nails done or colour my hair. I get a trim every few months and keep myself clean and tidy. Moistures once or twice a day. Shave when I feel like it.

I don’t look like shit at all - it’s all in your own head………

[quote sugarcubess]@musthavebeenlove I think part of my low self esteem and thinking I look worse without the treatments is my weight gain. I really struggle in pregnancy with body image. I'm not super slim anyway but never bigger than 10 stone which is healthy for my 5 foot 8 frame and makes me a size 10-12. However in this pregnancy I'm already 11 stone 9 and my face looks rounded and swollen so that with the no waist and colour growing out and fringe growing out I feel awful but at the same time don't want to go to a salon and go through all the process again. [/quote]
I’m sorry to hear that @sugarcubess .

I understand how you feel because my past obsession to look perfect also had a lot to do with low self esteem and trying to ‘compensate’ if that makes any sense. It feels like you’re doing the exact same thing.

I have no advice really other then try to focus on the positive things that you like about yourself and be kind : you’re growing a baby, it’s temporary and I’m sure you still look lovely and you’re judging yourself much more harshly then anyone else does.

Fringes do not need cutting every 2 weeks!
You can do your roots at home in between hairdresser visits.
Manicure once a month and use a clear gloss in between

You don't have to do all this stuff if you don't want to of course, but you do not need to carry on at the level you are doing if you don't want to.

The solution is to build on your self esteem and enjoy what you see.

The only period in my life when I wore make up were my teenage years when I was Goth! I’m 42 now. Don’t wear make up, just a Vit E spf 50 fave cream. I don’t style my hair. I wash it and let it dry naturally. I wear no nail polish. Tbh, people think I am younger than my age. I often wonder whether it’s because I don’t place artificial products on me. I’m also a feminist so want my DD and DS growing up is owing you don’t have to wear products to be considered beautiful.