Looking better is more faff than it's worth?

[sugarcubess]

I have been feeling rubbish lately . I stopped having a fringe as I couldn't keep up with the fortnightly trims, same with gel nails far too much maintenance for hands and feet every 2/3 weeks. I grew out my natural brown hair colour as fed up of having roots within 4 weeks with a full head of highlights. Eyebrows need doing every 4-6 weeks approx . Wax my chin myself .

I don't have time to keep having these treatments but look/ feel rubbish without .

I have a toddler and pregnant with sickness & nausea still at 6 months . I also work. I will get fed up looking like crap so will book a beauty treatment which then is faff to attend and then I think great needs doing again after 2 weeks 😭

First world problems but what's the solution do I just leave it all and be natural ?

@sugarcubess

Yes they are very time consuming . Which is very I have barely bothered for the last couple of years but then I see how awful my hair looks now in it's natural state . Still I don't want to sit for 3 hours in a salon having numerous foils painted through and handing over £120 😂

I know my hair looks at "it's best" with a lighter colour and foils (£120 odd every 4 weeks) but instead I colour it a more natural shade that only needs every 8 weeks upkeep and costs £55.

Nails went post kids, as just didn't have the time for upkeep.

Eyebrows I still have done, but ended up having laser hair removal on bikini line and legs to save the bother ever again!

My eldest is 15 and just had nails done for the 1st time since he was born - but I can see I'll take a more relaxed attitude to it now - I will have them re-done in 2 and 4 weeks (events) but then take them off for a couple of months. I think sometimes you get into a very hectic but routine which can be massively pared back.

PS...you are at the "worst" bit now, pregnant, hormonal, feeling fatter than normal....it will pass.

*beauty

Face swelling will go right down after the baby is born. Everyone looks bit rough during pregnancy. Wait til the baby is born and after a few months go and get your hair done etc. I would say embrace your natural look!

I've never bothered with nails but I used to get highlights and I did look better blonde, but was forced to grow them out in covid and now I've gone back to natural colour as had it cut into a bob!

I do look better with long blonde hair but I also looked a bit mutton dressed as lamb I think.

I have had my first 'other' beauty treatment post covid which is lvl lashes and I just love those as don't need to wear mascara. I don't mind having things that reduce my daily faff! And they made a big difference to my appearance.

I do feel less pressure about all
Of this while wfh. Which says quite a lot really about expectations we put on ourselves.

OP you are pregnant!! Despite what celebrities in magazine covers would have us believe most of us do not stay slim and glowing throughout pregnancy.

You will gain weight (obviously). You will swell up in random places. You'll be knackered, sick or get spots. I don't know many women that were happy with their appearance in pregnancy, you are not alone!

I don't know what to suggest, sounds like you are very short on time. Not easy taking a toddler to a salon .

I've tried a few different things - First was finding a salon that did everything - waxing, threading and haircut. Having neat hair is more important than the colour or cut I think. I go every 6/8 weeks. The threading sorts my beard and I pluck in-between.

At a different office, I would visit a beautician and hairdressers in my lunch hour. Bit awks trying to sit at my desk after a bikini wax though 😅

I also found a girl (daughter of s colleague) who was trying to get herself qualified and she would come to my house.
N

I would recommend a really good cut and if you’re up to it a colour that comes with not being done for months on end. DS has long hair, it’s dark and she has honey low lights throughout but not from the root so she on,y ever has it done once a year and it looks great.

Neat plain nails are classy and good skin.

The only thing I can be bothered with is my hair, every eight weeks and it’s an expensive pain, but the rest? Meh.

I went for an ombré once I was pregnant because I was the same, highlights were so much upkeep. Still gave me the blonde hair I wanted without the “roots”. I found it lasted me months and months.

Waxing - you’ve got that sorted, I’m similar. A couple of times a year (usually before Xmas and a summer special occasion) I go and have some waxing, usually my tash and a tidy of my eyebrows which keeps me going.

Nails - pre baby I was like you, every 3-4weeks shellac. Obviously couldn’t during lock down but I did miss it. I’ve just discovered SNS - game changer. Had it on for 3 weeks and not a single chip. I went for a natural colour so the re growth is hardly noticeable. I do love a pedi but so expensive I just have a few a year but then make sure I pick a finger nail colour that I can paint my own toenails to match the other times. I feel a lot more put together.

I was also exclusively buy black/white/nude underwear so I always wearing a matching “colour”. Not necessarily a “set” but again I feel better. Also bought some really solid bras post breastfeeding (fave is non underwired wonderbra, amazing way to keep the girls up and good support).

It’s the small things that make the difference!

I think you like to have these things done but just want to have a rest from it. Give yourself a month or 2 off then when you go back to it it'll be a real treat!

Oh and those sheet masks. Ahhh I love those! And I don’t need to get dressed

Ifs it more money that affecting your decision you can learn to do a lot of the things you listed at home. I look so much better as a blonde but can't afford the upkeep- I learned how to bleach my hair and spent a bit of money on treatments to keep it looking and feeling good. I use a little tool for plucking facial hair or use a facial shaver. Tint my eyebrows using eyelure £5. I have a Lumea for hair growth. It is a faff initially but then after a month you realise you haven't needed shaving for a few weeks. I prefer doing it all at home as it's much quicker and cheaper. I hate the whole faff of trying to book an appointment then waiting etc. I'm trying to decide on polygel but can't decide if I'm able to (terrible at painting nails)

I’m 66, never been one for make up. Always have hair dyed, nails done very occasionally. Eyebrows threaded when they need doing.

Being dark haired though my beard and moustache were the bane of my life so the best thing I’ve done is to invest in a course of electrolysis. I’ve not had to shave for about 3 months now and all that’s left are a few tiny wispy hairs which can only be seen through a magnifier, couple more sessions and it will be completely gone 😊😊.

Getting rid of the beard has done more for my confidence than anything else 😃

As a PP said it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I do have highlights because I'm quite grey (but not all over so won't be embracing it). I don't do my nails but keep them clean and kind of in shape. The full highlights are twice yearly with a T section twice. Make up is concealer, draw on my eyebrows which are sparse. Job done.

I adopt a DIY approach.
Cutting fringe, plucking eyebrows and painting toenails take minutes.
Slap on night cream before bed - in fact keep a little pot of am/pm treatments, vitamins and medications and take it into the bathroom with you so you don't have to think about it.
There's nothing classier than clean mid length nails with clear polish or a French manicure.
Concentrate on polishing your natural look which can be done at home.
See if a friend would help you colour your hair if you want to do that, and return the favour.
A good number of very beautiful and stylish women adopt the ' less is more, and don't look like you try too hard' approach.
When I bother to wear make up I always think "Damn, you look hot, woman" but I cannot be bothered to do it every day, I don't think it's good for my skin, and I hate all the dragging around of my eyes when I remove it. I just keep it in my armoury for special occasions, if I want a boost or the extra confidence it gives me, or I want to employ my feminine charms. That way it doesn't become mundane or a chore.

I think balayage or going a proper dark colour with a good cut is the way to go if blonde is too high maintenance. That's probably the only thing you need to get done professionally imo.
Over lockdown I learned how to wax my own eyebrows, although I used to get threaded at Superdrug, which was fab and I would still do that if I was out and about like I used to be. It takes 5 minutes and the result is great and much cheaper than when I used to get them waxed at a beauty counter in a dept store.
I buy eyelure dybrow to tint my own brows - it's really easy. I also have a UV lamp to do my own nails. Blue sky gel varnishes from Amazon are cheap and good. Got an epilator for my legs tache . Honestly, there's a lot you can do without needing expensive or time consuming salon appointments.

I gave up highlights in favour of brown box dye...i look much better and save ££££. My hair is in better condition too.

It's tough being a parent and taking time out @sugarcubess

How about you set up some 'me time' for pampering and pick which of those beauty treatments you enjoy the most or you feel make you look better the most and just do 1 or 2 of them.

Get yourself a really good haircut that will grow out well, get a box dye similar to your natural colour but richer/cooler just an improvement but not too far from its natural color. Get a good nail file (the glass ones are the best) and buy a nice tinted polish like Dior nail glow or Orly. You don't need a face full of make up to look good, how about a CC cream, clear mascara for lashes and brows and something like Benetint for lips and cheeks (Body Shop do their own cheeper version) if you make these small changes than I think you'll start to feel good again. It's all in the mind. I'm sure you look gorgeous but sometimes to feel it you need to invest a bit of time in yourself.

'The only thing I can be bothered with is my hair, every eight weeks and it’s an expensive pain, but the rest? Meh.' Completely agree.

I stopped having highlights about 4 years ago because I didn’t have time for the upkeep (and didn’t like how it was going lighter and lighter). I do get it dyed close to my natural colour to cover the grey but I can easily get away with only getting it done every 10-12 weeks.

If I was you I would get a decent amount cut off to get rid of the rest of the blond ends and see how you feel about it then. I went from boob length hair to just below chin last summer and it now hovers between there and shoulder length depending on how often I get it cut. I think a decent bob looks great. I was reluctant at first, I was worried it would look frumpy, but I actually find it so much easier to look well out together (plus found I was always just tying long hair back with a small baby anyway).

I also used to get gel polish every two weeks. Religiously. I just never went back to it post baby 2 (helped by lockdown). I now just do normal polish myself. I’m not the best at applying it but I’ve bought a selection of colours so always have something I’m in the mood for. And I just do them whenever sat in front of the tv (keeping everything crossed baby doesn’t wake!).

I also invested in a few really good hand creams and cuticle oils so I feel better about not having the actual manicure part. Plus you’ll need that with the constant hand washing that having a newborn seems to require.

The one thing I do recommend to Mum friends is getting eyelashes done if it enables you to feel well put together without any make up on. An hour every 3 weeks saves so much time every day if you would otherwise be doing make up. Unfortunately I developed a reaction fo the glue so can’t have them anymore. Gutted.

@TedMullins

I use some serums and creams at home for skincare but that's the extent of my beauty regime. I've never been waxed anywhere, had gel nails or eyebrows done etc and I think I look fine as I am. None of those things are a necessity, it's pretty easy to keep yourself looking nice and presentable without having any treatments, it sounds like more of an issue with confidence in how you look rather than how you actually look

This. I take good care of my skin but have never had any beauty treatments. I use red box dye on my hair but I still think it looks good. Just pluck my own eye eyes when I remember. My nails are shit due to constant housework but who's really looking at them anyway?

@Oblomov21

This is all attitude, the way your brain sees it, self esteem.

I have these things done occasionally. Highlights twice a year. Eyebrows and eyelashes dyed a couple or 3 times a year. Nails on occasion/for a party - quick £5 paint, which they do my cuticles and file them.

It doesn't need to be all or nothing. Change your mindset.

Similar here. I have my hair coloured twice a year (balayage style so the root re-growth doesn't matter). I do have my eyebrows microbladed once every 18 months or so, which is expensive but manageable at that frequency and really helps the way I feel as I ruined them in the 90's by over plucking.

I've never had my nails done (apart from my wedding day) as I dislike long, coloured nails so keep them short-ish and paint them myself if I feel like it.

I also had a fringe years ago and although growing it out was a nightmare, I'm so glad I did. Much prefer it and only go to the hairdressers every 8 weeks or so now for a trim.

I think do as many beauty treatments as you want to/can afford but don't feel like you have to do 'all or nothing'.

You can look lovely without spending loads !! Go for a hair colour with low maintenance a balayage do your own brows and nails !! X

Pick your battles!
I don’t do nails. Clean and trimmed but that’s it. If once a year or so I fancy it great. But o don’t have time for doing them every 2/3 weeks.
Have a short easy hairstyle - shower and go- but do go to hairdressers religiously every 6-7 weeks. Takes about 90 min for cut and dye to cover grey. Book next apt while I am there so no faff and I know hair always looks good so I always look reasonably put together. I figure no blow drying etc means the 90min every couple of months evens out.
Wax lip and chin myself. Tidy eyebrows myself.
Slap of foundation & blusher.
Clean clothes.
Smile.
And let go!

Yes, just simplify your routine. It will happen naturally.

Lower maintenance hair - so maybe just one colour, or a balayage?

Laser the chin hair if you can afford to?

If it makes you feel better you should make the effort. I’ve been getting a mobile hairdresser to come to the house, which is much cheaper and handier time wise.

I’ve also bought a nail lamp and been doing my own gel nails.

I find it really improves my mood, as well as my appearance.