Looking better is more faff than it's worth?

[sugarcubess]

I have been feeling rubbish lately . I stopped having a fringe as I couldn't keep up with the fortnightly trims, same with gel nails far too much maintenance for hands and feet every 2/3 weeks. I grew out my natural brown hair colour as fed up of having roots within 4 weeks with a full head of highlights. Eyebrows need doing every 4-6 weeks approx . Wax my chin myself .

I don't have time to keep having these treatments but look/ feel rubbish without .

I have a toddler and pregnant with sickness & nausea still at 6 months . I also work. I will get fed up looking like crap so will book a beauty treatment which then is faff to attend and then I think great needs doing again after 2 weeks 😭

First world problems but what's the solution do I just leave it all and be natural ?

I feel better if I do some basic grooming routines at home. Waxing face takes minutes and is essential to me. Eyebrows I do monthly a 5 minute job.
Shaving legs, trimming down below, I do weekly in the shower.
At the weekend I like to put an Olaplex treatment on my hair and a peel off face mask while I wait (the sort that clears your pores).

I do my own gel nails at home or acrylic dip powder, not essential but they’re brittle without a coating of something and snag on things. If they were strong I’d just let them grow and manicure with a file as needed.

I only get my hair cut about twice a year, and I henna it at home to blend in the greys.

Make up; I find it takes 5 mins in the morning and makes me feel more ‘dressed’ to have primer, foundation and neutral eyeshadow, lip stain and a tinted balm.

I wonder what makes us have a different approach to grooming and why some women feel they need it and some don’t.

I think its a variety of factors: upbringing and the emphasis your parents (and particularly your mother) placed on it is a big thing I think.

I was lucky enough to have a mother who didn't criticise my appearance or weight all the time, wasn't constantly on diets and didn't spend a lot of her disposable on pointless beauty treatments. I do think sending a signal that tweaking your appearance will improve your life is a bad message to deliver to female children in particular and I'm quite judgmental of women who do that.

I went through a phase of spending a lot of time and money on "grooming" after my marriage broke down and looking back it was probably a sign of low self-esteem. None of it made much difference in the final analysis.

That said I think all of these things are tools which can be helpful in certain scenarios: boosting your mood if you're feeling low (as long as it doesn't become addictive), helping you look more put together for professional situations etc. It's feeling in control of it rather than having it be something you feel obliged to do before leaving the house.

As a general rule, the happier people are with themselves, the less willing they are to throw cash away on dubious things which aren't guaranteed to make them look or feel any better. Caring enough about your appearance to put your best foot forward is good. Spending all your spare cash on things which make a very marginal difference to how you look and feeling you need them in order to be able to go out, not good.

Just do what works for you. I do my brows & nails myself. I use moisturiser religously tho. Foundation, lip balm & blusher. Dye my eyelashes. I actually did a box dye for first time ever & it looks great. I remembered what my first ever salon hilights were, Clairol Baby Blonde & they do that colour still, so I took the risk!

When it's really we done, expensive grooming makes people look better,but the vast a mority of people, who do it a lot, would look better with less IMO

I have a haircut, eyebrow shape and lash and brow tint every six weeks. Keep my nails short and clean and epilate my legs myself. That's it and I think I look well presented, if not glamorous.

Following with interest as I'm feeling really down about my appearance at the mo. I'm also torn because, as a feminist, I'm also aware of how much of this feeds into patriarchal standards of beauty. I've never been all that bothered before (didn't get nails, tan or professional makeup on my wedding day), so not sure why I care now.