Struggling. Opinions pleass

[Annie2317]

I'm a 30 Yr old single mom. I work full time (basic wage) and I'm living with my parents. My child is only a toddler & goes to nursery 4 days a week.
My mom gets them ready as I start work very early in the morning (2 hours before nursery starts) and picks them up as they finish at the same time as I do, she then looks after them on a Friday for 5 hours while I'm at work. They never look after them over night or weekends.

My parents and now asking that I pay 500pm for living at home and looking after my child, I was originally paying 300.
500 is just under half of my wage a month and after paying nursery fees swimming lessons phone bill and doing a shop for the month I'm left with next to nothing.

Does anyone else think this is wrong?

I don’t think it’s wrong at all. It’s far more in line with what you would have to pay if you lived alone with your child. I would suggest you start looking at other jobs or training so you can improve your earning potential. Plus swimming lessons are optional. Living costs aren’t.

Op there's so many variables does that 500 give you and your child one room or 2? Does it I clue bills? Have your parents a mortgage?

To be honest your an adult who chose to have a child and its not your parents responsibility to take care of their adult child and grandchild. They have to share their house which is quite unfair plus by the sounds of it you do t have any plans to move out so to be honest it sounds like you who's being unfair

I think it’s a reasonable amount, assuming you don’t pay other bills as well? Like council tax etc.

I think you are directing your annoyance at the wrong place- where is the child’s father, and what is he contributing?

You could always move out, then you wouldn't have to pay them anything!

YABU.

doing a shop for the month

So you pay for the household food too or just your own?

I think 500 per month sounds fair btw.

Are you claiming all the benefits you can? Is your LO eligible for free nursery hours yet? Can you cut back anyehere (cheaper phone, stop swimming lessons)?

I think it's a tough one because they obviously do a lot for you regarding childcare and £500 is more like a rent you would pay if you lived by yourself. Could they meet in the middle at £400?

YABU. I think your parents have been very generous and it’s time for you to move out and become more independent.

I think it's quite fair, their doing a lot for you.

You’re 30 years old, of course you should pay a proper amount for living costs and childcare. £500 is pretty fair. If you’re unhappy with it move out or pay for proper childcare instead of using your parents.

Where do you live? Is it £, $ or €?
What's your parents' situation, are they retired?

I think it's fair.

Are you planning to move out into your own place?
Do you get child support from the DC's father?
Have you checked that you're getting all the benefits you're entitled to?

Yabu. You have a pretty good deal. Try living by yourself without the on tap childcare and all the bills being paid for you...you'll find yourself much worse off, trust me!

Why do you feel they should subsidise you? Are you entitled to any help with nursery fees?

It is a fraction of what you would pay without their support. It seems reasonable and is still a big help.

First of all. I have no issue paying money, the issue is, I'm trying to save every penny I can but how can I save when I have no money to save.
I moved out (rented) and due to the area I lived in it was to expensive (hence why I moved back wifh parents). They also told me that renting is the worse thing I could do because it's dead money. So I couldn't win.
I work unsociable hours. Yes I know I should look for another job but it's a lot easier said then done to walk into another job with hours I can work around my child.
I've been told I'm not entitled to any benefits. My money is solely what I earn.
We have a bedroom between us.
Yes I buy a monthly food shop to help towards that.
They own there house so no there isn't a mortgage to pay for.
Also I'm not using my parents at all. They offered to look after my child while I worked, because in their words 'Its better then being on benefits' when in reality I'd probably be better off working a lesser paid job and claiming benefits.

Look again at benefits as I you are on a 'basic wage' (minimum wage ?) you should be entitled to a fair amount

yes i think to charge your own daughter500pcm is ridiculous..unless they are seeing it as a revenue maker(like a lot of people seem to on mumsnet)..u do for family as far as im concerned. We arent talking about a stranger renting a room ffs!

If you want to claim benefits and rent somewhere you don't need your parents permission.

Is your child’s father paying any maintenance?
And I agree with pp - at 30 years old you are free to make your own decisions about renting etc ..

No I’m sorry you’re thirty and you have personal responsibility.

If you don’t like the set up claim benefits and apply for council housing, have your parents say they are evicting you. And then deal with yout own child care.

Everyone's fault but your own?

You only take home 1k p/m and you work 5 days
Of course you’re entitled to some benefits

What's the market rate for renting a room and bills etc where you are? Could you move somewhere that would be cheaper?

You are 30 op. Your mum getting your child ready in the morning and doing drop off is a huge help already. Then the other stuff, you should be grateful instead of asking if this is fair. Your DC is a toddler and you are living with your parents, what was your living situation before that. If you want to save And move out maybe ask them to reduce it to a little less, explain how you are not saving anything etc and maybe they will compromise?

Maybe do a comparison of how much you can save if you moved out vs if you stay and pay them more?