Struggling. Opinions pleass

[Annie2317]

I'm a 30 Yr old single mom. I work full time (basic wage) and I'm living with my parents. My child is only a toddler & goes to nursery 4 days a week.
My mom gets them ready as I start work very early in the morning (2 hours before nursery starts) and picks them up as they finish at the same time as I do, she then looks after them on a Friday for 5 hours while I'm at work. They never look after them over night or weekends.

My parents and now asking that I pay 500pm for living at home and looking after my child, I was originally paying 300.
500 is just under half of my wage a month and after paying nursery fees swimming lessons phone bill and doing a shop for the month I'm left with next to nothing.

Does anyone else think this is wrong?

They do sound a bit controlling, you are allowed to make your own decisions on renting, benefits and looking for other jobs. Social services wouldn't take your child because you were struggling to house yourself. I'd get some independent advice on what options you may have.

You need to find out what the LHA is for a basic property in your circumstances. It seems likely you would qualify for help with housing costs, childcare and benefits under UC. Are you still paying off debt? Can you make an appointment with CAB?

You describe your job as ft but the timings suggest otherwise if you are put of the house for 7 hours max per day. Also they may not look after your dc overnight but do you not leave before he gets up, still asleep? If he could not attend nursery, are they on stand by?

you are 30 - an adult -so time for some adulting

'you have been told' you can;t claim - by who - have you actually done anything yourself? 'You have been told' you child will be taken of you - by who? again stop asking other people and start being a grown up

IF you are in the UK (which you haven't answered when asked) then of course you can claim benefits - child benefit and UC/Tax credits - which will also help pay for childcare

Children's services would not remove your child if you where homeless - plenty of families living in emergency accommodation (sadly)

stop letting other people tell you stuff and find out for yourself - but £500 a month for accommodation, after nursery care etc is not a huge amount

Still don’t understand your finances. But appreciate you may not want to divulge it all here.

If you’re on a low income you get at funded place at nursery from age 2 and then it’s funded universally after the age of 3. Are you getting that?

I am reading between the lines here but it sounds like your parents treat you like a child and you fall
Into that role x

Why do you do and listen to everything they say? You know you can just what you want without their permission? They can't take your child from you, honestly what are you thinking.

Op I mean this gently, is there a back story? I don’t understand why you’d think anyone can take your child? Have you looked for benefits and your nursery place?

Do you need someone to advocate for you if you struggle to understand?

£500 pcm for everything is a fraction of what you would pay if you rented. I’m not sure where you’re based but here a 2 bedroom house is around £600-700 a month and that’s considered cheap. You’d obviously also have to pay for all of the bills on top of that. I don’t think your parents are being unfair, they’re providing housing and also childcare.

I've also spoke about claiming homeless and I was told if I did they'd take my child from me as they wouldn't want them in that situation

Who told you this?

Are you sure they are not taking that £500 and putting all or some of it aside to give back to you at a later point (maybe as a deposit for a place of your own)?

Not that I necessarily agree with this kind of 'enforced saving', especially given your age, but it is what some parents do I believe.

You're thirty years old, live at home with your child and resent paying £500 towards rent, bills and childcare.

Where on earth do you live that you feel you could live independently, cover all those costs and be better off than you are now?

@Comedycook

I've also spoke about claiming homeless and I was told if I did they'd take my child from me as they wouldn't want them in that situation

Who told you this?

I think this means they wouldn’t wish the child living on the streets or a hostel ..,as in if she was actually homes less they’d care for her child . I can’t think of any other explanation.

Are you in the UK?

It’s £500, for which you get accommodation, no utilities, no council tax, 2 hours unsociable hours childcare 4 days a week, nursery pick ups daily, a free day of childcare every Friday…

It’s an absolute bargain, @Annie2317. You’re 30, surely you know how expensive the real world is?

@pinkyredrose

Are you in the UK?

She doesn't seem to want to answer that. I suspect she's in another country where the system is quite different. The "500" isn't clear, which is why I asked for clarification. Is it dollars, euros or whatever.

Maybe they think that at 30 years of age with a toddler you should be sorting your own housing and childcare....

£500 is fair to low I think. Are you sure you’re not entitled to any benefits etc.
What is the plan long term as 30 seems old to be living in the set up you have.

Sounds fair to me. You have a stable roof over your head and you mum is providing significant childcare. If you think you could do better move out!

I think you will be entitled to some Universal Credit, too, OP.

You won't be eligible for any help with the rent you pay your parents, because it's not a business arrangement, but I reckon you'll be entitled to at least £250 a month, plus 85% of nursery fees. That will cover the extra your parents are asking for.

If you were to move out and rent somewhere, your UC would go up by the amount of rent you pay or the local housing allowance for a 2-bed property, whichever is the lower. You might also be entitled to some help with your council tax, but each council operates its own scheme, so that varies.

Imo, the worst thing about your situation is that your child's father contributes absolutely fuck all to the cost of bringing up his child. I'd be onto the CMS in a heartbeat if I was in your shoes, and anything you get in child maintenance is ignored when it comes to benefits.