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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is just ridiculous?

116 replies

findingsgone · 23/06/2021 19:59

A child at the local primary school has a sibling a few years below.

Found out from the mum today that because she was born in December, they celebrate her birthday twice. Presents and party in July and then a normal birthday with family in December. She sends out birthday invites saying 'Please come to my 7th birthday party!' The child isn't 7 until December.

AIBU to think this is entitled and ridiculous?

OP posts:
Trike1 · 23/06/2021 21:32

I wouldn’t begrudge a ~7 year old their birthday party. It sounds like a great idea!

Shiftdust · 23/06/2021 21:37

Having a December child - this is the first year we have considered doing this - it is very hard for her as she gets a ton of presents at one time of year and nothing spread out, she is very close to Xmas which makes it weird also as me and her father are separated so as she sees our respective families she basically gets presents everyday for a week! That is what is mental! She feels super overwhelmed and can't enjoy the presents as she has more to open.

She also doesn't get to see anyone really on her birthday either as it is always in holidays and people have plans and traffic is always rubbish due to weather.

We haven't yet but I am definitely considering doing this as it makes a lot of sense. (Presents spread throughout the year, less stress in run up to Christmas for me, nicer weather for parties, she will get to have friends and family over too.) I think she'd love it - I don't see the harm to move it (agree with other posts that she shouldn't have 2 birthdays)

gwenneh · 23/06/2021 21:39

YABU. It's easier to have a nice, lovely outdoor celebration.

Velvian · 23/06/2021 21:41

My 2 eldest DC have winter birthdays. We always gave Ds1 and then DD a good present at Easter as well. DS2's birthday is in the summer and 6 months to the day from DD's birthday, so they have 1 half birthday gift on each others birthday.

I think it's really nice, but they should probably go with explaining it's a half birthday, rather than an actual birthday.

Figgygal · 23/06/2021 21:42

My ds birthday is 22nd December
It makes December even more bloody stress, he’s always off school as holidays have already started so he doesn’t see his friends but we’ve always managed to have well attended bday parties for him the weekend before his bday

My parents tend to buy him his bday presents in the summer especially if he needs something like a new bike to split it up a bit as the gifts at that time of year are absolutely overwhelming

I would be upfront though that it was a half bday because of when his actual one falls

Happylittlethoughts · 23/06/2021 21:45

Def heard of half birthdays before. It's not a new "entitled " thing. Some parents dont want a glut of presents within a week or 2 so have a half birthday in June. It's not 2 birthdays worth.

Cocomarine · 23/06/2021 21:46

My brother always did this for my niece - 23rd December. She celebrated with school friends on 23rd June, and everyone was well aware she was 7 1/2 not 7!
She and her friends loved it.
She’s 28 now, and feels her real birthday is December… but her friends all still expect a night out with her in June!

Don’t be such a misery OP!

Rno3gfr · 23/06/2021 21:48

Ds has a December birthday and celebrating it in the summer would feel weird. Each to their own though...

Rno3gfr · 23/06/2021 21:51

Actually- f*ck it, he’ll probably be my only child and life is short. From next summer I’ll be hosting a half year party in June with family.

Mamascoven · 23/06/2021 21:52

My DD's birthday is 28th Dec and we like to buy some "presents" in summer like garden toys etc that she cannot use in winter. But I wouldnt actually have a proper party for her in the summer and send out invites but each to their own.

Womencanlift · 23/06/2021 21:52

My dad has a Christmas Eve birthday so always treats Fathers Day as his “official” birthday. We had a lovely cake to celebrate last Sunday

PiuVinoPerFavore · 23/06/2021 21:56

@Womencanlift

My dad has a Christmas Eve birthday so always treats Fathers Day as his “official” birthday. We had a lovely cake to celebrate last Sunday
That's a lovely tradition
weegiemum · 23/06/2021 21:57

I have a December birthday always celebrated in December. My parents were always good at keeping birthday and Christmas separate.

Now in my wee family we always do a meal out for our birthdays but mid December is full of Christmas nights out and set menus. So I choose to celebrate my meal out in January/February when it's gloomy and dark and everyone needs a pick me up. We still have a nice family meal, cake and presents in December.

ChickenNugget11 · 23/06/2021 22:04

Once had a colleague born on New year's Eve. She used to have a half birthday party at the end of June. Even as an adult. As trying to get everyone together on her birthday every year was difficult. But she 'advertised' it as her half birthday and we all understood the reasoning.

Mumwithapub · 23/06/2021 22:13

My daughter was born between Xmas and new year but conceived at Easter so I plan to celebrate her conception when she starts school.

Lagomtransplant · 23/06/2021 22:16

One of my two best friends was born on Boxing day. She does half-birthdays too, due to Christmas effect. I'd say it's perfectly reasonable, everyone deserves a bit of uninterrupted birthday fuss.

Torvean · 23/06/2021 22:17

If your birthday is in December (like mine). There's always a Carol concert or a kids nativity or a work Christmas night out. And my birthday is nearer the start of December.

When I was a kid it never bothered me.

Using Christmas cards/ wrapping paper for my birthday does.

Peoniesandpeaches · 23/06/2021 22:18

Given that their actual birthday is Christmas Eve then I see absolutely no harm in them having a mid year celebration. Nobody is coming to a birthday party on that day and they would otherwise miss out on birthday cards and presents. My birthday is similarly close to Xmas and I’d always get people just tagging a birthday message onto my Xmas present or sending an Xmas card instead of a birthday card. It was really upsetting and made me feel less loved than my siblings who had actual birthday parties and received 2 presents from family (yes, yes I know how materialistic). As for calling it a 7th birthday I would imagine that’s just easier than explaining it all. We once tried having a non-birthday party for me at a later date but I guess because my mum told everyone it was just a party nobody dressed up and almost nobody brought cards or presents. I remember it as a pitiful affair and being worse than having no birthday at all.

NameyNameyNameChangey · 23/06/2021 22:19

It's fine and I've heard of it before.
Nobody can come to a birthday party in the Christmas week, for example. The weather is shit and everybody is skint.

Stichintime · 23/06/2021 22:29

I loved having a Christmas birthday as a kid. As an adult I don't celebrate my birthday because no one remembers, it's all set menus and Christmas dos in pubs etc.

Sally872 · 23/06/2021 22:32

They are celebrating her 7th birthday in July even though she isn't turning 7 then. Makes sense to me.

TentTalk · 23/06/2021 22:34

We have DSs birthday party on his half birthday. His birthday is new year's Day. Its shit. Nothing is open, most relatives are tired and hungover, no nursery or school friends want to come over. He gets really sad about it. So we have a small family tea party with family gifts on his actual birthday then a party with his school friends etc on his half birthday. We don't expect presents, but as none of them remember his actual birthday, they usually buy him something. We didn't do it last year because of covid, but did it the year before which he adored, and this year.

EmpressSuiko · 23/06/2021 22:40

YABU winter birthday are rubbish! It’s cold, wet and dark, everyone is always too focused on Christmas and no one has any time or money to do anything brothers related.
It’s perfectly reasonable to have a half birthday in the warmer months as it gives you more options for parties/days out etc and the weather is much nicer!

N4ish · 23/06/2021 22:42

Lots of people do this. Can be tough for Christmas babies as birthday parties aren’t really possible at that time of year.

headintheproverbial · 23/06/2021 22:42

YABU. I think this is pretty common for children with birthdays near Christmas. No one comes to parties as there is too
much on, they get 'joint' presents, their birthday is down graded by the general merriment and it's a LONG time to wait a year.

Honestly what possible harm does it so??