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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is just ridiculous?

116 replies

findingsgone · 23/06/2021 19:59

A child at the local primary school has a sibling a few years below.

Found out from the mum today that because she was born in December, they celebrate her birthday twice. Presents and party in July and then a normal birthday with family in December. She sends out birthday invites saying 'Please come to my 7th birthday party!' The child isn't 7 until December.

AIBU to think this is entitled and ridiculous?

OP posts:
Terrazzo · 23/06/2021 20:15

I know of someone who does this. I’d definitely consider it if I had a December born. Must be so sad to wait all year to get all your presents over with at once, and summer is much nicer for birthday presents! Not entitled as not asking for double presents.

Terrazzo · 23/06/2021 20:15

*birthday parties

HeddaGarbled · 23/06/2021 20:15

I suppose not being upfront about it not being her actual birthday is a slightly odd decision, but everything else, I think is quite sweet.

icelollycraving · 23/06/2021 20:16

Don’t be so joyless. Birthdays should be epic when you’re 7. I have a January birthday and it’s shit.

MsSquiz · 23/06/2021 20:16

How is it entitled if she only gets 1 birthday party with friends and 1 lot of gifts?

My nephew's birthday is the 22nd December and the year my SIL was due twins around his birthday he had a birthday bbq with his friends and family & gifts. The on his actual birthday (twins arrived the week before) we just had a family lunch with cake and candles.

lilyofthewasteland · 23/06/2021 20:17

@Cheeseandlobster

Depends when in December it is. If its between say 20th and 28th then not at all. You can guarantee a child born then will miss out on some things due to thoughtless joint Xmas and birthday presents, and also people are generally busy so less availability to attend parties. They are not asking you for extra presents if the Dec party is family only so yabu and a bit mean actually
Exactly. People are too busy in December to ferry their children to birthday parties as well, plus children tend to be so over-excited by it all at that time of year that it just ends up stressy with kids in tears.

Sounds like she's come up with a solution that hurts absolutely nobody and enables her child to have relaxed and enjoyable birthday parties like her peers.

I don't know why you are being nasty about it.

MiddlesexGirl · 23/06/2021 20:17

@MissKeithsNeice

I know a family who do this with their dc born on Xmas day. I think its a really good idea. Having a birthday near Xmas sucks.
My birthday is near Christmas. It doesn't suck at all. Actually I quite like it .... and always have.
QuillBill · 23/06/2021 20:18

I know someone who does exactly this. Family party in December and school party in June. As the holder of a December birthday myself, I think it's a good idea.

People are busy in December.

CassandraTrotter · 23/06/2021 20:20

I know a few Christmas Eve / Christmas day / boxing day birthdays. Three of them have had half birthday parties with their friends in June. But it is after the actual birthday, so eg they turned 11 in dec and had a party when 11 and a half.

What's the problem?

Peach01 · 23/06/2021 20:22

Don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Better weather, could have something outside, everyone wouldn't be obsessed/skint with Christmas and more children could be available. Not to mention a birthday party when the house is full of Christmas decorations.

Peach01 · 23/06/2021 20:22

Isn't full of Christmas decorations

Pinkclarko · 23/06/2021 20:23

Mine is a week before Christmas. No birthday parties as Christmas nights out and thus fewer presents but as it’s Christmas, you’re still expected to swap Christmas presents…then you have to get friends a birthday present later in the year so potentially getting half the presents that you buy. I know you shouldn’t give to receive but c’mon! 🤣

TheVolturi · 23/06/2021 20:23

My sons both have birthdays just after Xmas. This sounds like a good idea!

Taoneusa · 23/06/2021 20:26

We have three friends with Christmas birthdates that celebrate their birthdays in June! It’s fairly common I think, to choose your own celebration day, if the actual date isn’t desirable/ convenient.

DoingItMyself · 23/06/2021 20:28

Great idea.

Spunout · 23/06/2021 20:28

What a brilliant idea,I bet my cousin who's birthday is boxing day wishes his parents had thought of this 45 years ago Smile

PinkArt · 23/06/2021 20:29

Early January baby here whose parents did this as a kid. Although the summer after, not before.
No-one ever wants to do anything so soon after Xmas and the party options were pretty much just cinema or ice skating when it's so cold out. A summer party was much more fun and no-one wraps your presents in Xmas paper because 'its all they had in'.

feb2022 · 23/06/2021 20:29

My boys birthdays are December 23rd and Xmas day, we don't have a party as such but in summer we will have a bbq and friends round maybe hire a bouncy castle (obviously can't do that near/on Christmas Day) I always feel like they get left out... some family and friends still do the one gift for Christmas and birthday thing and it winds me up, don't get me wrong I'm grateful they received anything at all times are hard but I do feel terribly sorry for them sometimes which is why they get an extra celebration

aggathapanthus · 23/06/2021 20:32

Possibly/possibly not.
Our two were both born in early February. It’s about as bleak as you can get (in normal times let alone Covid) in terms of activities being open. So, we always had a July party. Neither were told it was for their birthdays but they got to invite their friends and had a lot of fun.

Youdoyoutoday · 23/06/2021 20:33

I have an Xmas baby and do the same, I don't expect presents for both celebrations, or either in fact. The July party is simply a party for my son to have with his friends from school, proper birthday is just us, his presents from us and a cake.

Why should that bother you?

tootiredtospeak · 23/06/2021 20:34

My DDs Birthday is December and her brothers July she loves hers as it's close to Xmas but is sad sometimes she cant have a summer party.

TheBullfinch · 23/06/2021 20:35

It's a brilliant idea.

My birthday is in the first week of January. Nobody would ever come to my party because, a) it was snowing/icy/cold/dark, b) everyone was depressed after xmas/new year, c) Nobody had any money after xmas/new year, d) Everyone was exhausted from partying at xmas/new year.

I used to get one joint present for xmas & birthday.

I wish my parents had given me a summer birthday!

squiglet111 · 23/06/2021 20:35

This is good idea! Means they get Xmas presents on/around their bday then presents again mid year. Much better than one day of presents.

If they had two children and the others had a birthday mid year, then the sibling with the bday at Xmas would see their sibling getting presents twice a year and they only got it once. Nice solution to this issue

krustykittens · 23/06/2021 20:36

And? Unless they are asking you for two presents, I don't see the problem. Both my daughters were born in early January. When they were little we used to throw them a party in June, when the weather was warmer and we could book outdoor activities or hire a bouncy castle for the garden, but celebrate their actual birthdays, just the four of us, with a trip to the cinema. Now that they are older, they like their January birthdays with the Christmas decorations still up and spending Birthday money in the sales. Kids parties in the middle of winter, straight after Christmas, tend to be hard to drum up enthusiasm for.

NotQuiteUsual · 23/06/2021 20:36

I think it's bloody mental and I say that as a parent of a Christmas Eve baby. I don't think it's that hard to make a young childs birthday special enough when it's on top of Christmas. Maybe as they get older and want more of their friends around I can see the use in it. But not at that age.