Best/worst/untraceable revenge

[namechangeforwrongdoing]

Just tell me the best (worst?) but most untraceable acts of revenge/comeuppance that you've heard....Asking for a friend.....

@Lovelydovey

I’m deeply uncomfortable at many of these. To ruin perfectly good possessions, waste peoples time, ruin their health in the pursuit of revenge. Rise above it and be the bigger person.

The thing is, in many cases the “revenger” has been the victim of injustice and not had the opportunity or right of reply following the revenged crime. I’m not saying that two wrongs make a right, they don’t. But a lot of people would also shrug and say “karma”.

You think I’m joking?

No, I think you're sick.

Poo through the post is horrible. Think of the poor postal staff.

I did a bad thing once.
Exh was having an affair with my close friend (before he was ex).
I invented another boyfriend for her. I got a male friend primed with personal info about her . He rang ex to ask what he was doing carrying on with ‘his’ fiancée. I had lots of details…
Ex challenged friend who denied it. A bit later fakebf rang saying he had been there during call… I had been on bedroom extension and passed it on.
Both ‘friend ‘ and fakebf were quite well known one on tv and one in politics 🤣🤣🤣🤣
All true. It happened in 1967. Ex and I divorced, later married other people and became friends. He is dead now. I never spoke to ‘friend’ again.

@BlooperReel

Someone at an old workplace was stealing my pots of yogurts regularly, I got a 4 pack, peeled back each corner and added a dose of liquid laxative to each then used pritt stick to reseal the corners

All the people saying they spiked things with laxatives - they don't make people randomly shit themselves, they just make stool softer and easier to pass when you do need to go. It's not like I'm the slapstick comedies and you usually need to take a couple of doses for it to work - so these little stunts achieve nothing.

My DSis used cheating xBIL toothbrush to clean the loo and removed spare clean clothing from his gymbag that he kept in the car. He had to get the car valeted 🤢

Given that you can be prosecuted for not removing Japanese Knotweed, etc, I think its very unfair to contaminate a garden with it and potentially leaving innocent neighbours with large bills for getting rid of it.

My sister was driving us both back home one day after school and driving down a busy 60mph A road. we were being aggressively tailgated by an angry guy who clearly thought we were going too slow despite us doing 60mph. Road was busy and lots of sharp bends so he couldn’t overtake.
Anyway we got to our turn for home and there was a tractor & trailer patiently waiting to pull out into our lane off traffic. My sister flashed him out in front of her then turned immediately off the road.
Angry man in car promptly got a lesson in what actual slow driving was

@NotPersephone

Suggested my ultimate fantasy was to shag him in the on top position while he was incapacitated by being wrapped in cling film.

Laughed my arse off watching him jump after me with his tiny, now-flaccid penis hanging out. (I’d already taken the precaution of filling all his coat pockets with Branston pickle in case he tried to follow me outside).

I hope this is a joke.

One I read years ago but always remember was a woman whose BF broke up with her and took his new GF on the holiday they had been going to go on. She still had keys to his house so she filled all the curtain rods with prawns then put the curtain knobs back on the rods. In summer. The ex BF nearly ripped apart the whole house and everything in it before he found where the unholy stink was coming from.

I saw a bloke on holiday whose wife had used sun cream so that cunt was burnt on his back. Tbh I don't blame her they had their two children and two from his previous marriage and she was run ragged all day every day while he sunbathed, read,slept and sat round the bar. Each time one of the children asked him for something he would say"ask x she will get you one"

I also remember Nick Grimshaw having a “petty exes” feature on his radio 1 show a few years ago.
A few stuck with me.

One woman tampered with her cheating ex’s business sign where he worked. Apparently he was a chiropractor who owned “The Spine Clinic” (or something similar) and she said she rearranged the word spine on his shop front to The Penis Clinic.

Another guy stole all the backs from his ex girlfriends earrings

@Tlollj

My mate did a wee in her husband’s bath.

Anyone who thinks that counts are revenge for the average man, doesn't know much about male peeing habits

Another guy stole all the backs from his ex girlfriends earrings

Now that is the work of a genius psychopath.

Some of these are shameful and yes criminal.

I did like the car swap one though.

At the end of WW2, lots of German POWs we’re put to work in gardens in U.K. before being repatriated to Germany. After a POW had left the previous Autumn a lady was very surprised to see in the Spring the message ‘Heil Hitler’ spelt out in Crocus’s in her lawn !

I had a short relationship with someone that I called off. They'd left a few things at mine and I said I'd leave them in my unlocked car for them to grab while I was out.

I came back and he'd taken the volume knob cover from my car stereo. Stereo still worked fine but it was just the spindle to adjust the volume and was mildly irksome every time I did it.

Absolutely genius bit of passive aggressive revenge.

@elQuintoConyo

Still had keys to the flat. Ex-bf went on a two week holiday. Ex-gf went in one day one, rang the American speaking clock, left the phone off the hook for two weeks.

Not me. Friend in the late-80s.

Even just ringing the UK clock would rack up quite bill as I think its a premium number.... BT can block it in some instances as people with dementia sometimes just start pushing buttons in order and as soon as they have done 123 they are connected.

My ex H was horrible - controlling, mean and being with him sucked the life out of me. I finally left him, and within a couple of weeks he had a new girlfriend. He would ‘accidentally’ send me texts meant for her, or use my email to get confirmation of the fancy trips he’d booked for the two of them.

He had a firearms licence - the sort that requires secure gun cabinets and visits from the police. After receiving yet another email I was so close to calling the police, giving them his description and telling them he’d been behaving erratically and had what looked like a gun case.

I didn’t, but that’s only because of the huge disruption it could have caused with the police, hotel, other guests etc. I have imagined a number of times how it would have played out. Would have made a dent in his romantic weekend away.

A funny work one was not one I witnessed but read about online. Asshole colleague to a group of workers would often rant about spoons going missing from the canteen. Anyway, in any emails to him from his team, they wrote spoons spoons spoons spoons loads of times of times at the end of every email to him in white font so it was essentially invisible. Before long, his Amazon account was offering him deals on all sorts of spoons, his facebook adverts were offering spoons and all other targeted adverts on any website he went onto for were all spoon related. It also started to happen on his phone and home devices because of the targeted adverts to his social media accounts and it both baffled him and drove him cracked trying to figure it out.

That's probably the worst I'd be willing to do to someone I think. I'm not a fan of anything involving destruction of property, or biohazards.