My 18 year old DD’s manager is being difficult

[rumblefish23]

DD has left school and is working till Sept when she starts uni. She has a part time job as a waitress in a cafe/restaurant chain. The first week was great and the manager said “any problems or questions let me know”.

He has now turned into a complete arsehole, being really rude to her all day. We have spoken about it and how some people can be rude and just ignore it, I want her to be able to deal with situations and people on her own.

She was told she would be paid weekly and she is now in her third week of not being paid. I told her to keep asking the manager but because he is being an arsehole she doesn’t want to talk to him. When she does ask about being paid he replies with something rude. I was thinking I should contact their head office but she doesn’t want me to.

What do I do! One part of me thinks she should just leave the job and look for something else but then she won’t get paid!

[quote SofiaMichelle]@LittleMG

At first I thought it’s up to her but actually totally agree with this. That twattish manager needs sorting out by someone he can’t intimidate!

She'll get sacked[/quote]
This isn't about improving the managers workplace manners.

It's about a girl in her first job learning to stand up for herself at work, and a Mother learning when to step back and let her.

I know others will disagree with me and possibly your DD will as well, but I'd be Mama Bear here and walk in, ask to speak to the manager and insist she's paid there and then.

Please please please don't even consider doing this!

Didn't you bring her up to stand on her own two feet and fight her own battles?

@SofiaMichelle

I'd be Mama Bear here and walk in...

Yep, I agree, mega cringe.

What does her contract say?

When I was 16 I got a job in a local restaurant and didn't get paid for three months... constantly fobbed off... til my dad went in and spoke to the manager and they checked and had my bank details written down wrong. Got paid that day

Not the point but sometimes younger people are taken advantage of!

Is there an assistant manager that she could ask about wages?

If it's a chain there is probably an HR. She could send a query email about wages.

@3scape

In her shoes she could ask one of the nicer staff members if they had problems with pay, get an idea if this manager has form, or if it is in fact 4 weekly or something (?). Other than that. Getting there earlier than the start time, complete with a copy of bank details that "appear" to have been lost, putting it conveniently in writing that she hasn't been paid. 'Manager, further copy of bank details as haven't received pay since start date. Thanks in advance for speedy resolution' kill him with politeness. Rudeness wise. What is he saying?

I agree with this - see if this is a one-off problem or if he has form.

Raise the problem at the beginning of the shift. If niceness doesn't resolve it then DD needs to tell him that unless it is resolved she will walk, there and then, and leave him short-staffed. "Resolved" means that she gets some cash immediately, not a promise of "I'll sort it".

Does she have a written contract? You can apply to small claims court online for unpaid wages. Need to give warning first in writing as need evidence for court. If she doesnt have written contract then she will need to wait until not paid at end of month in case Manager tries to argue it was always going to be monthly. In any event she should find another job because who needs a rude boss let alone on what is probably min wage - but pursue the money.

All the best op, as frustrating as it seems.

No contract, she has been asking for something in writing but it seems a bit of a shit company!

Unfortunately she's going to have to be brave and state firmly and clearly to manager that she has not been given the details about pay. Probably best at the start of the shift when the staff are in setting up.

I keep hearing that hospitality is desperate for workers. This cafe doesn't seem to bothered about keeping staff.

That makes things difficult.

To start with she should quietly ask other employees how long they had to wait for contracts and their first pay.

It would be worth her looking for other jobs too. If the manager really pisses her off then if she has a new job offer in hand she can just walk out at the point where it will most inconvenience him.

Whilst I don't think parents should interfere with jobs (eg the boss is an arse issues) I do think that you should march in and insist on your daughter being paid. You will not be the first or last parent who has had to do this to ensure their young person is not exploited.

If she hasn't received a contract yet, she definitely needs to find out if one is coming by speaking to the manager.
Having nothing in writing means effectively that they can pay her when they want, how they want and what they want.
It sounds dodgy as fuck now, and she needs to find anyone senior to ask (in writing preferably) about contract and pay.

Your DD needs to sort this out herself. She is 18, an adult. Do not embarrass your DD by speaking to her employer. If she doesn’t have a contract of employment, does she have an offer letter that confirms the term of employment? What she needs to do is speak to the Manager again, say she hasn’t received her pay or payslip and can she have the name & phone number of the correct contact at HR to speak to about it. I hope she gets it sorted out.

I work supporting young people into employment. I would support her to ask in writing when she will be paid, if she doesn't get a response then support her to approach her manager by talking through with her what to say. If he is rude/fobs her off then I would get involved myself. This is very common in the hospitality industry, especially with young women being treated like dirt by an older male in a senior position. She may well lose the job but as PP say if she isn't being paid then it isn't a job anyway! Sadly a lot of employers think they can get away with taking advantage of young people and sometimes it does take an older adult to intervene. I have on more than one occasion rung up such employers and asked them what the point is of me motivating young people to work if they aren't going to bother to pay them. It may be that I get results doing this because I am a professional but its certainly worth a try. I don't know your daughter but there are few 18 year olds I know who are able to stand up for themselves effectively in these situations, they tend to just leave the job without getting paid at all because they don't want to make a fuss which then leaves a space for the next unpaid labourer.

Does she have anything in writing saying her pay?

Without that she’s a bit screwed.

She could ask for the pay in writing. If he still refuses to pay her for she could leave and learn a harsh lesson.

Ps if it gets that bad there is always social media… bullies like this shouldn’t get away with treating young people like this and there are so many hospitality jobs out there

I have instinctively wanted to be the mamma bear in situations with my teens. Much better to give them the tools and strategies to deal with stuff themselves. This won't be the first time in her life that she has to be assertive, give her the power to be so.

Op she is not going to get paid. She needs to deal with it head on and if no response is forthcoming she needs to leave.
This happened to a friends daughter. Sadly there are businesses who pray on inexperienced young people to get free labour. Don’t continue working without being paid arrears.

I'd leave her to sort it out until she wants to leave but still hasn't been paid. Then I'd help her write an email asking for the money and copying in anyone senior. If nothing happened after that, I'd go in and speak to him, hopefully with a captive audience of customers, as long as dd didn't mind. I wouldn't let some misplaced fear of looking pushy mean that an arsehole gets away with treating young girls like shit.

@InpatientGardener

I work supporting young people into employment. I would support her to ask in writing when she will be paid, if she doesn't get a response then support her to approach her manager by talking through with her what to say. If he is rude/fobs her off then I would get involved myself. This is very common in the hospitality industry, especially with young women being treated like dirt by an older male in a senior position. She may well lose the job but as PP say if she isn't being paid then it isn't a job anyway! Sadly a lot of employers think they can get away with taking advantage of young people and sometimes it does take an older adult to intervene. I have on more than one occasion rung up such employers and asked them what the point is of me motivating young people to work if they aren't going to bother to pay them. It may be that I get results doing this because I am a professional but its certainly worth a try. I don't know your daughter but there are few 18 year olds I know who are able to stand up for themselves effectively in these situations, they tend to just leave the job without getting paid at all because they don't want to make a fuss which then leaves a space for the next unpaid labourer.

Absolutely this.

Get her to look up 'unlawful deduction of wages' and give him a letter with those words and a deadline to pay before she takes further action. Keep a copy of the letter. There is the possibility he's taking advantage and may even sack her but then she has evidence it was malicious and could go to tribunal.

Never too young to start playing hardball with shit employers

What do I do! You don't do anything!!! You're her mother and she is 18. Butt out! If she asks for advice, give it. Otherwise stop with the helicoptering. She's an adult

Who owns the business if it’s a chain of 4? Are the other branches near by if so maybe your DD should visit and ask to speak to manager there and explain no contract and no pay despite asking. He could be defrauding the company. As she has no contract I would communicate only in writing or email. Not having a contract isn’t a deal breaker as he’s legally obliged to provide one but she needs some evidence she works there so for eg she could email setting out the hours she has worked to date. But also get a better job. Citizens advice can help her get her money. But I think without something in writing saying pay is weekly she would have to do the first month. Then it would be obvious they are withholding pay as everyone gets paid at least monthly. Is there any paperwork at all even emails or texts she won’t need much to make a small claim.