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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Considering a 5 hours per day school run

263 replies

Cactusowl · 21/06/2021 15:18

My son has been offered a place at a lovely school which is around an hour away. It’s an independent SEN school and will suit him so much better than his current mainstream.
We are taking our council to a tribunal in the hope they will name the school on my sons EHCP and therefore pay the fees/taxi. The court date isn’t set until October. I have the option to pay for the school myself so he can start in September, I will have to drive him myself for a minimum of half a term or max 3 years if we lose our appeal.

Has anyone done a long school run like this? Was it manageable and did it get any easier? AIBU to even consider this journey is sustainable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cactusowl · 21/06/2021 18:31

@Zzelda there is a backlog for tribunal hearings, the date we got seems in line with others who entered paperwork at the same time - even those who have no school places for September. There is an option to request an August hearing but I would struggle to get all my witnesses available at the same time that month.

OP posts:
Zzelda · 21/06/2021 18:32

Most importantly, you don't have the school named on his EHCP yet or the LA agreeing to pay his travel. You'd have to have both of these decisions in your favour, and your LA is likely to argue strongly against both because of money.

It doesn't quite work like that. If the tribunal decides that this is the only suitable school, then the LA will have no choice but to arrange transport because its duty is to provide transport to the nearest suitable school. The LA will no doubt argue against this, but if OP can prove that the current school is unable to meet the child's needs then the very strong likelihood is that the school of her choice will be named.

hiredandsqueak · 21/06/2021 18:34

I do 45mins each way to get dd to independent specialist. Unfortunately when the traffic is heavy it's nearer an hour each way. LA pay mileage because dd really wouldn't be comfortable in a taxi and to me it's more important that she is in the right frame of mind when she gets there. I play audiobooks when dd isn't in the car so as it doesn't feel like the day is wasted tbh.

Zzelda · 21/06/2021 18:35

@ByeClare

Another thing to bear in mind is that there's currently a big backlog plus a huge demand for SEND tribunal appeal hearings, so a lot of hearings have had to be rescheduled, often with short notice.

This means there's a fairly good chance yours may be pushed back. This means that even if you end up winning, you may not have your hearing in October, then it's at least another two weeks or so for the decision to come out. So regardless of whether you ultimately win, you may end up having to do the journey for longer than to October anyway.

This isn't the case any more. Paradoxically, lockdown has helped in scheduling SEND tribunal cases because everything is done online and judges don't have to travel around the country. They haven't had to reschedule any hearings at short notice due to the tribunal being too busy since around April last year. They may adjourn for other reasons, notably the case not being ready for a hearing, but I would expect OP's solicitor to take steps to ensure that that won't happen.
itsgettingwierd · 21/06/2021 18:35

If you can and are willing I'd say do it.

I'd look though for things to do whilst there.

Perhaps even some volunteering, library one day, nice walks, leisure centre for gym or swimming etc.

Add into it opportunities for you too. (I have an autistic ds so I get it).
It's a big commitment and as long as you factor in your own MH I think it could work wonderfully for you both.

singleagain22 · 21/06/2021 18:38

It's totally not practical and you sound entitled expecting the council to foot the bill.

YouLookSoCool · 21/06/2021 18:38

It's a long way but there are often posts on here about DC travelling an hour each way to private or grammar schools, especially in and around London. Seems as if you've exhausted other options and this school seems like a great fit for your DS. Absolute worst case scenario it's for 3 school years/9 terms so maybe you just have to decide if it's worth the sacrifice for that period of time.

TableFlowerss · 21/06/2021 18:40

I’m confused? You say 5 hours per day school run, but the school is only 1 hour away? So that’s 2 hours, not 5?

danni0509 · 21/06/2021 18:41

@TableFlowerss

I’m confused? You say 5 hours per day school run, but the school is only 1 hour away? So that’s 2 hours, not 5?
There back, there back.
Zzelda · 21/06/2021 18:41

The LEA can say at tribunal oh you have withdrawn from state provision, are paying for private, and are transporting your child to school.....why do you need us involved as your child is no longer under LEA.
Rightly or wrongly they can (and prob will) say that. Use caution

No, they can't say that in the tribunal context. You may be thinking of the situation where parents withdraw their child from a mainstream school and choose to home educate or to pay for a private school placement, in which case, yes, they become responsible for arranging special educational provision.

However, LAs continue to be responsible for children in their area irrespective of whether they are in state or independent schools. Parents are perfectly free to argue that only the independent school can meet their child's needs and therefore should be named in the EHCP. It's an argument that's accepted frequently both by LAs and the tribunal.

Zzelda · 21/06/2021 18:42

@singleagain22

It's totally not practical and you sound entitled expecting the council to foot the bill.
Not in the least entitled. It's what is required by law.
BearOfEasttown · 21/06/2021 18:51

@Cactusowl No way in HELL would I do this.

Mamanyt · 21/06/2021 18:52

I lived in a very rural area when my boys were growing up. There was no possibility of private schooling, and the lower schools that served our area were a 2-hour school bus ride away, only an hour by car. I ferried my boys to and from school for 5 years to keep them from a 4-hour bus journey each day. It was not particularly fun, but I also didn't find it overly difficult. We spent the rides talking, playing word games and such, and the half-trip I spent alone was a glorious bit of privacy that I came to treasure.

At the end of that time, we moved to an area that offered them a very easy school bus trip, or even walking. I found that I missed those rides very much.

Dutch1e · 21/06/2021 18:53

I've done some similar commutes for my eldest (not SEN but one of those 'everything just feels spot-on' situations).

I'd do it again, who wouldn't when they see their child's face light up like that, but I was completely burned out. If you're willing to accept that other areas of your life will crumble a bit then do it.

It's good advice to work or something close to the school during the day, although that comes with it's own stress, especially when there's after-school activities or perhaps playdates.

You know in yourself that this is right, and you'll do it no matter what. Just please plan ahead with batch-cooking and whatnot, as well as building in earlier nights and other down time for yourself whenever possible.

ProcrastinationStation3 · 21/06/2021 18:55

Do you work? What other kinds of commitments do you have for your time that you would be unable to meet?

How do you feel about driving/ what is the route like? Would it be 5hrs of stress or a relatively easy drive?

5hrs of driving, in and of itself is clearly doable. There are plenty of people who drive for a living who do more than that. If however you find driving a stressful experience then that is going to be much more exhausting for you, and possibly not sustainable. The other part is whether you are able to effectively consider it a part time job, by which I mean if you'd have to somehow fit a normal days worth of 'work' commitments (be that paid work or stay at home duties) in on top of the driving or your ds being at this school will free up time you normally spend caring for him/ you can drop other commitments/ your dp will help share the home duties you're not able to get done due to the extra hours out of the house each day, thus your total daily workload doesn't just increase by 4/5hrs.

Cheesybiscuitsmineallmine · 21/06/2021 19:02

My school run means I spend just short of 3 hours a day in the car as dd has SEN. The school has made a huge difference to her and really benefitted her but it's really taking a toll on me. It's a huge chunk out of the day and I don't enjoy driving.

ProcrastinationStation3 · 21/06/2021 19:04

Oh also, do you have a back up plan in case you're unwell and unable to do the journey for a few days?

Frolickingfoam · 21/06/2021 19:07

I think if I was you I would do it, honestly. I know how hard it is finding a good school for a child with SEN. I would just try to plan how to make it as painless as possible.

Emotionallydone · 21/06/2021 19:07

I have been doing a 4 hour school run for the past 8 years for my SEN ds. It is tiring, but it’s what’s best for my son. It helps if you have someone you can share the driving with, my dp does it one day a week and it really helps me.

omgthepain · 21/06/2021 19:08

Why don't you move nearer the school - that long journey isn't ideal even with a taxi

me4real · 21/06/2021 19:08

It's not unusual for LOs with SEN to go to school somewhere further away as that's a school that might suit them.

Might you be able to get the LA/school or whoever does it to provide transport?

ByeClare · 21/06/2021 19:10

@Zzelda I know of at least two SENDist hearing that were rescheduled at short notice during lockdown.

By October we should possibly be out of lockdown, which may mean that in-person hearings get postponed again.

If the tribunal decides that this is the only suitable school, then the LA will have no choice but to arrange transport because its duty is to provide transport to the nearest suitable school

This is not the full truth as an absolute statement. The child’s SEND and the distance are relevant; yes in this case they will have to provide it going by what the OP has said, but it’s not a sure fire bet for all. Part id the issue here is that the considerable cost of the transport will be a factor in whether it’s considered suitable, as it may cost an awful lot more than the school the LA considered suitable. Which presumably is his current one. Which again begs my earlier point, whether the LA has tried to get the school currently named in the EHCP to provide what they’re supposed to.

blissfulllife · 21/06/2021 19:15

@singleagain22

It's totally not practical and you sound entitled expecting the council to foot the bill.
Entitled????? Your ignorance is unreal!. My daughter gets taxis funded by the LEA. It's the only sen school that can meet my child's needs. Should I have left her in the mainstream school that couldn't cope with her, that left my child so distressed that she tried to take her own life!. Our children are entitled to an education!
hiredandsqueak · 21/06/2021 19:19

@singleagain22 Your head will probably explode but our council pay £70k pa school fees for my dd's place and just over £30 a day to me for transporting her there. The alternative would be that she wouldn't have an education and she is as entitled to that as any other child.

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 21/06/2021 19:30

I would wait. If it doesn't get named on the EHCP and you lose tribunal then you will be stuck with the fees and the drive. Transport policies are trickier to overcome. I know lots of people who have managed to get their kids into dream schools named on EHCPs only for council to say that as it is parental preference, parents have to take children themselves. One mum I know said it was the hardest fight of all for her child (although another did win compensation about transport from our LA). Can he stay in the mainstream and transfer in year?

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