Considering a 5 hours per day school run

[Cactusowl]

My son has been offered a place at a lovely school which is around an hour away. It’s an independent SEN school and will suit him so much better than his current mainstream.
We are taking our council to a tribunal in the hope they will name the school on my sons EHCP and therefore pay the fees/taxi. The court date isn’t set until October. I have the option to pay for the school myself so he can start in September, I will have to drive him myself for a minimum of half a term or max 3 years if we lose our appeal.

Has anyone done a long school run like this? Was it manageable and did it get any easier? AIBU to even consider this journey is sustainable?

[Luckyelephant1]

What's your work situation? Could you get a job in that town so you don't have to go there and back twice in the day?

[SeptemberAlexandra]

I had to do a school run because of my child being clinically vulnerable and unable to share transport for 3 months taking between 4 and 4 and a half hours each day. It was absolutely exhausting and it brought about physical symptoms caused by stress that needed to be medicated to manage pain. It certainly wouldn’t be something I’d be willing to do long term.

[Ariela]

@Backthewaywecame

I assume if op takes him, it’s an hour there then she would go back home and set out again for the end of the school day and back home again. You couldn’t spend a day in that area for five days a week for three years, worst case scenario!

...unless you can find a PT job covering , say 10-2, in the area?
I did know of a lady got a dinner lady position at a school when in a similar situation (different school)

[BlueSurfer]

That seems a very unfair amount of time in the car for your son. If the school is that ideal and where you want him to go, I would move closer.

[Arghlife]

A few years ago we were thinking of doing this, ot would have taken just under an hour each way. We decided against it, thought that it would take alot of time of the kids days to relax, to have family time, especially if they had homework etc.

[cloverleafy]

We're in something similar at the moment - it's hard. Our child is transitioning into a specialist school. Thankfully we only had a short period before moving to taxis in the afternoon. We're still doing the morning run (he isn't ready for taxi that early yet) and even that is a really commitment. 90 minute round trip. Would your son be full-time from day 1? I'd have to be very very confident about the tribunal, as it wouldn't be sustainable for 3 years. Don't forget, if hearing is Oct, 4 weeks for judgement, a bit longer for your LA to put placement & transport in place... it could be until Christmas easily.

[MondeoFan]

I couldn't do it personally. What if your car breaks down? Etc when it's poor driving conditions? Snow etc

We live 8 minutes walk to our school, we moved further for a while and I was driving 25 minutes to school and 25 minutes back. I got fed up with it. As much as thought I wouldn't mind I hated it. We moved back closer to the school. But my child isn't in need to a SEN school.

[motogogo]

Firstly l, can you afford to pay if you loose your funding appeal? Depending on the nature of sen, they turn down a lot!

It's possible other parents are driving their kids and you can car pool but I would seriously look at what other options there are. If your child is currently mainstream, what about local sen? Council rarely pays for out of area before you try local

[mamaoffourdc]

I do 45 mins each way for my child in a special school - seeing my child happy and complete fulfilled makes the journey so worth while! Plus I listen to a lot of podcasts and audible books!

[supersonicsue]

I was in the same position as you with two children attending an absolutely brilliant SEN school. It was just over an hours distance from home, so four hours driving there and back each day. For the children it was absolutely fine, obviously more difficult on the driver. Also like you we took the local authority to a tribunal for a taxi, and won. At the time I feel we won the appeal because the children were already at the school, and the panel could see that it would make a positive difference to everyone if transport was provided. However, even if it hadn't been we would have continued to transport as the school was the only one that could deal with their special needs. I wish you luck!

[Comedycook]

For a short time I had a one hour school run there... traffic awful...then half an hour back. Then afternoons took half an hour there and same back. So a total of two and a half hours a day. Honestly, it made me really ill.

[RoseMartha]

I think it is too far. I pick up my sister's kids the whole thing is about a six mile radius and can take two hours in the afternoon and I have just about had enough of that.

[Cactusowl]

Thanks for the replies.

For DS it would be approx an hour each way depending on traffic. I would probably get to the school about 30 mins before he needs to be collected to avoid much of the school run traffic. As long as DS has his phone he’ll be happy in the car.

The school is just outside a beautiful city, it would be easy enough to find a way to kill a few hours a couple of times a week so that’s an option when the weathers good.

We have reached a point where DS is on a reduced timetable and won’t be able to keep up with the demands of GCSES. @redpandaalert we appear to have a good chance at tribunal, our experts support the need for specialist provision.

[QueenBee52]

So where does the 5 hours come from then ... Im confused 😩

[cupsofcoffee]

It's such a long time to spend driving though - if you don't get any help from the council, it's a huge, long-term commitment to make.

I assume you don't work and can afford all the fuel and wear and tear that all those miles will put on your vehicle?

[CommanderBurnham]

It's one of those where you won't know until you do it.

Are you able to try it out somehow???

What is the plan if it doesn't work out?

[Clickbait]

I'd do it (if you can fit it in with your work situation).

My DC get the bus to school in the nearest town, and it's still nearly an hour door-to-door (the school is only 20 mins away by car, but you need to include getting to/from the bus stop at each end, waiting time, bus slower than car).

So I think that's fine / normal for him. Although a pain in the arse for you obviously!

[Akire]

It’s not straight hour door to door. If school starts at 9 you may have to leave 745 to give yourself 15min time just case for traffic or parking. So each leg would be between 1h and 1.15 so up to max of 5hours a day all in all “bum in car time”.

[Oldpeoplesprinting]

Lots to think about - do you work? Do you have other children who this would impact? If the answer is no & no, then yes I would do it. However you have to weigh up the cons (mostly your time, & the fuel cost) & see if they’re worth it.

For those saying find a gym nearby, it’s a long gym session..! It would be really annoying having to hang around killing time for 6 hours a day… Is moving closer a possibility? (Possibly not worth it for 3 years but depends if you liked the area/fancied a change anyway)

Hard one but on balance, if it’s not too disruptive to family life, I would do it.

[cupsofcoffee]

@QueenBee52

So where does the 5 hours come from then ... Im confused 😩

OP says each journey could take over an hour if the traffic is bad.

Multiply that by four (there and back in the AM, and again in the PM) and that could easily add up to five hours per day in the car.

[Ozanj]

For a SEN pupil the right school can change their lives. I know SEN kids who went to uni and are in good jobs because they went to the right school. In your position I would probably try and hire a nanny to do this as it could work out cheaper (and on holidays they could support you with childcare). I know many nannies whose main job is to drive children to and from school and then make dinner and entertain them for a bit until parents come home, so def work approaching people

[FindMeInTheSunshine]

If it's a good school, I think I'd absolutely go for it. It's hard on you, but hopefully the council will come up with the taxi.

[canigooutyet]

For those saying it's too long for the child.
If he was getting the council provided school bus daily he would be travelling a lot more. They get picked up anytime from 6:30 am to arrive at school on time depending on where else transport had to go. I would very occasionally do it if short staffed as the last pupil wouldn't get dropped off home until nearly 6. Long day.

As for the suggestion op gets a job nearby.
What about the school holidays? Finding childcare for someone with SN can be incredibly impossible. Never mind all the time off because of various medical appointments, avoidance and general health.

I would do it and ensure there's a back up in case anything happens to the car. Weather if it's really bad no doubt the school would be closed anyway and that's assuming the area is rural.

When I was working in a SN school, some of the TA's would also be a carer for a child outside of school so they would take them home. There was also times that TA's did the drop off and pick up as they lived local enough for it to work, even on ad hoc basis when the family were stuck and couldn't get in. And homework I cannot remember any being set tbh.

[AlwaysLatte]

I wouldn't! Going for parents eves etc would be a real pain, and they're so tired at the end of the day - my two would hate an hour journey, including the early starts!

[canigooutyet]

Good luck with the tribunal. LEA's can be incredibly stubborn and dig their heels in. Hope you are getting some help with this