To be upset what WFH has done to DH

[cappuccinoandcats]

All staff in the office where DH works are clearing their desks one morning this week. The office is going to be hotdesking and I'm praying he goes to the office for at least two days a week.
He's making all sorts of excuses. Type 2 diabetes, stairs due his bad knees etc. I'm not buying these excuses. He is currently renovating and removing plaster at the weekends, so he CAN do stairs and carry heavy loads !
He doesn't want to work with unvaccinated. He's had both jabs and I've explained the risk is miniscule.
I just want him out of the house sometime during the working week. AIBU

@khakiandcoral

There are so many solutions to have a home office in the smallest rooms these days, unless you are a family in a studio flat, it's a poor excuse.

I'm not in a studio flat but it's impossible for me to have a home office in my one bedroom flat! There's no room in the bedroom so I have to work at the dining table. I've told DH to come and go as he pleases, it's his home before it became my office and if work don't like it then tough.

mom ended up buying a drop leaf dining table, and putting dads desk along the wall, during the day, the table leaves were dropped and the chairs folded away, and dad had room to sit at his desk... we ate off lap trays... and had to be silent when he was on a call.

Then end of business, dad tucked his chair in, and the table came out for dinner.

The dining room is always an alternative, but the lounge has to be accessible to all.

It’s a difficult one where there is a lack of space. Both myself and DH currently work from home (likely both to be back in the office in August), I take the dining table (which is also in our lounge), and he takes a folding desk in the kitchen. It’s tight especially when we need to cook, but we love being at home as always both worked full time in an office for the last 20 years. We’ve just appreciated being able to see each other more and our DS. Oh, and the dog!

Seems like he is stuck in a rut and fearful. I'd want my home back too especially if you're short on space.

We have used some money we saved for a holiday but didn’t go on to buy a summer house though.. so we can sit in there if we want some peace or if our DS has anyone round.

Why are you home all day and why can't he work in a room that's not the living room?

Summerhouse in the garden. Clearly the solution .

@khakiandcoral
There are so many solutions to have a home office in the smallest rooms these days, unless you are a family in a studio flat, it's a poor excuse.
Good luck with that in our house. One bedroom is DSs bedroom. DH worked for a year on a rocking chair with a laptop on his lap. Between the cupboards, bed and bookcases there's no room to put in anything else. Our room has double bed and wardrobes, leaving basically enough space to come in and get dressed. Box room has two cot beds in it. Living room wouldn't be workable even if there was space as my twins were 4 mo when lockdown started. I could hardly lock them in the cupboard for a year. Kitchen isn't big enough to swing a kitten let alone a cat. Garage is cold and full. Some of us live in small houses with lots of kids!

SleepingStandingUp

Get rid of some of the stuff cluttering the garage.

bookcases can then move to the garage.
Table than can be folded at night, even with screen on a chair behind if you need more desk space.

Even when I was a student I wouldn't have worked with a laptop on my lap. It might be a pain to empty your bedroom of a lot of stuff to fit some kind of desk, but unless it's a solution for 2 or 3 days only, it's ridiculous to be so uncomfortable.

So obviously you need to look at your house to come up with a suitable solution, but there's always a way (not spending too much money on designer solutions either!)

The ikea wall table is £35!

We don't have space for stuff like that to be attached to the wall in the upstairs rooms and I'm not putting bookcases in a damp (rented now owned) garage 😳. He's back at work now unfortunately

I'm not putting bookcases in a damp (rented now owned) garage 😳.

fine, but you then lack space by choice, not by circumstances. My point exactly.

He's back at work now unfortunately
good for him, laptop heat quickly and he must have a bad back from hell after a year on an unsuitable chair.

@khakiandcoral

I'm not putting bookcases in a damp (rented now owned) garage 😳.

fine, but you then lack space by choice, not by circumstances. My point exactly.

He's back at work now unfortunately
good for him, laptop heat quickly and he must have a bad back from hell after a year on an unsuitable chair.

Well no, it would completely wreck ours and the children's books putting them in the garage. We lack space because we had three children so it's his fault too. He could have had the "spare" room if we'd had lockdown a year earlier!!

It's hardly choice if you expect people to put their furniture in the bloody garage! To use my bedroom my chest of drawers would have to go in the garage which obviously isn't an option as we need to keep out clothes in it!

When I have to work from home I use the dining table as I'd need to get rid of the sideboard and therefore lose a lot of storage.

Also people don't seem to understand the lack of work life balance if a work area is set up in a bedroom or living room that is used all the time. If I see the screen, laptop etc I start thinking about work. If it was in the bedroom I'd be laying awake worrying about it. Work is work and home is home as far as I'm concerned.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

It's hardly choice if you expect people to put their furniture in the bloody garage! To use my bedroom my chest of drawers would have to go in the garage which obviously isn't an option as we need to keep out clothes in it!

When I have to work from home I use the dining table as I'd need to get rid of the sideboard and therefore lose a lot of storage.

Also people don't seem to understand the lack of work life balance if a work area is set up in a bedroom or living room that is used all the time. If I see the screen, laptop etc I start thinking about work. If it was in the bedroom I'd be laying awake worrying about it. Work is work and home is home as far as I'm concerned.

So not wanting a desk in your bedroom trumps someone else's right to use the living room without keeping quiet and tip toeing around? That's batshit cray.

@tallduckandhandsome, sorry, I wasn't clear. No it really doesn't and in my case I've told DH to come and go as he pleases and if work don't like it that's their problem. They know I live in a one bed flat so they have to make allowances if they insist I work from home. The only thing I did say to him is to check if I'm on a call if he's just got out of the shower as he has to walk through the living room to get to the bedroom!

Also I honestly don't have the space to work in the bedroom. We did think about it but can't lose the storage space.

The sooner I'm back in the office 5 days a week the better!

Have you posted about this recently? A post about wanting your DH out the house as he wfh in the living room and he takes over the room? If not I’m having massive deja vu …

[quote PinkSparklyPussyCat]@tallduckandhandsome, sorry, I wasn't clear. No it really doesn't and in my case I've told DH to come and go as he pleases and if work don't like it that's their problem. They know I live in a one bed flat so they have to make allowances if they insist I work from home. The only thing I did say to him is to check if I'm on a call if he's just got out of the shower as he has to walk through the living room to get to the bedroom!

Also I honestly don't have the space to work in the bedroom. We did think about it but can't lose the storage space.

The sooner I'm back in the office 5 days a week the better![/quote]
ah ok understood

@SallyCinnabon

Have you posted about this recently? A post about wanting your DH out the house as he wfh in the living room and he takes over the room? If not I’m having massive deja vu …

That was a different situation, the OP's DH was WFH in the dining room, which was between the living room and garden, so OP couldn't let her toddler run between to the garden.

I think there’s a lot of us in similar situations!

Also people don't seem to understand the lack of work life balance if a work area is set up in a bedroom or living room that is used all the time.

as we have all been through the same lockdowns, you might find that people DO understand, but it's all about making compromises for the sake of everybody in the house.

Putting your stuff away when you finish work if you are set up in the bedroom is not that difficult either.

If YOU want to go back to the office, that's a non-issue. It was about refusing to help out the one who IS working from home and expecting THEM to bugger off.

It's hardly choice if you expect people to put their furniture in the bloody garage! if you refuse to make any changes, you can't complain about unsuitable work conditions in your own home 🤷

@SallyCinnabon

Have you posted about this recently? A post about wanting your DH out the house as he wfh in the living room and he takes over the room? If not I’m having massive deja vu …

No there's just lots of disgruntled women complaining that their partners are ruining their days by insisting on being around in their own home

Where do you work, OP?

@AlexaShutUp

Where do you work, OP?

Out of interest, if the OP couldn’t work due to ill health, would it be okay for her to be restricted and unhappy at home? Or is it just SAHMs who deserve this fate?

Yep I work full time OOH but I’m shaking my head at all these people implying OP has less right to enjoy her home without having to whisper and tip toe around because she’s a SAHM.

Put a fold up wall desk in your bedroom?