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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissed off about the washing

124 replies

Jourdain11 · 21/06/2021 00:28

I already know I'm being unreasonable, but I just want to rant... Blush

DD1 was taken unwell yesterday (has underlying health issues) and I spent most of yesterday and today at hospital with her while DH looked after the younger two. He also had reports to start and finish for school (primary teacher). So I get that it was a stressful and busy weekend for him. I asked him if he could chuck some of the washing on today, not all of it, but just the essentials, uniform stuff so that DS and DD2 had something to go to school in tomorrow. I even reminded him while we were messaging. And when we finally got home, late, ohhhh no, he'd forgotten to do it because he'd been so busy. So now I'm stirring bloody underwear and school uniform around the bath and attempting to get it dry after midnight. And no doubt I will have to iron said uniform in the morning.

I mean, I get it, he was busy with other stuff. But it's not like I don't have to go to work in the morning too. It's not like I didn't have shit to get done this weekend as well (and I wasn't even home to do it, so I'll now be up at the crack of dawn trying to get at least some of it done before ironing the bloody half-washed uniforms).

Just ... Grrrr. If I speak to him before I've got it off my chest I'm going to snap really sarcastically at him!

OP posts:
CrazyCatsAndKittens · 21/06/2021 01:49

I agree that sloshing it around in the bath at midnight isn't helping anyone. Just sponge off any dirt and give them an iron and they'd be fine. He was a dick for not doing it though.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. What chores does he do? If he hates laundry, maybe you do laundry and he does washing up or something like that?

DoNotEat · 21/06/2021 02:01

Is he in bed asleep while you're bath washing clothes?
Mine wouldn't be sleeping I can tell you.
Can you not wash them without putting the spin cycle on?

quizqueen · 21/06/2021 02:05

So you're blaming your husband for being too busy to do washing, when you accept that you also have been busy to do it earlier in the week as well!

HelgaDownUnder · 21/06/2021 02:48

Surely as a one-off you could have just used the washing machine. I can understand them not wanting it running all night, every night, but one load, once?

It's very slack of your DH, but to be honest, it has been a massive blowout weekend with everything happening at once.

Try and cut everyone a little slack, it's times like this that things fall apart, and grubby uniforms are not the end of the world.

I've sent my kids to school in last week's uniform to teach them a lesson about not leaving clothes scrunched up in a ball under the bed. I didn't even iron them.
We all survived.

Mymapuddlington · 21/06/2021 02:54

How can anyone hate doing the washing, it’s the easiest chore!
I would have put on quick cycle and if neighbours mention anything say you have no idea what they’re on about you were asleep from 10pm Grin

CrazyCatsAndKittens · 21/06/2021 02:54

@quizqueen

So you're blaming your husband for being too busy to do washing, when you accept that you also have been busy to do it earlier in the week as well!
It seems pretty clear the OP planned to do it at the weekend but having to take her kid to hospital threw her for a loop.

I just wonder why the OP thinks she's being unreasonable. The husband was at home, he should have done it as asked.

BikeRunSki · 21/06/2021 03:27

I’d be annoyed too OP, especially since you reminded himand he was at home.

I hope this week is better for you.

Ragwort · 21/06/2021 03:54

Yes it's very annoying that your DH couldn't be bothered to put the washing on but why be a martyr and hand wash the uniform? It really isn't the end of the world if the DC wear 'grubby' clothes once in a while.

timeisnotaline · 21/06/2021 04:40

@Rtmhwales

If I'd asked DH to wash it twice and he hadn't, it would not be me hand washing it at midnight, that's for sure. They're equally his kids, he's equally capable of doing the chores.
Yup!!
Caspianberg · 21/06/2021 05:03

It would annoy me.

Can you at least buy some more basic multi packs of underwear so if your caught out again one of you can just sponge clean some uniform for a day and everyone has plenty of spare pants/socks

Clymene · 21/06/2021 05:15

It's pathetic not to be able to look after children of that age and put a load on.

PrettyPetalPinkPeony · 21/06/2021 05:17

I would have used my washer, regardless of neighbours, obviously I don’t know the setup of your house, but I’d have quick washed.
You’ll need the spin cycle anyway.
Plus it easier to hand wash clothes in a kitchen sink than bath, I’d have thought

PrettyPetalPinkPeony · 21/06/2021 05:19

And yes, he should have done it, when you couldnt

StuffinThePuffin · 21/06/2021 05:40

If it was agreed that he was going to do the washing then why are you now the one doing this?

His problem to solve. No wonder he didn't bother - if you always step in and rescue his fuck ups then why would he put himself out?

Also, this is a fairly low stakes issue. Unless something really wild went on last week with a load of food or mud, I'm sure the kids can cope with Friday's uniform as a one off. I'm assuming they have clean undies?

FlyNow · 21/06/2021 05:46

I see why it's annoying but I'm another one that would have just run the machine. It's a once off. And don't worry about ironing them (ever again preferably).

PracticingPerson · 21/06/2021 05:52

Gosh, some posts are incredibly sanctimonious! The OP had a sick child, it is pretty normal to leave washing to the weekend.

RedHelenB · 21/06/2021 06:01

Yabu. Too many martyrs frequent mumsnet and here's another example. You should have or asked dh to just put it in the machine on the quickest cycle and apologise for the noise if necessary. Yes he should have done it but if he had a deadline with reports and kids to supervise things do sometimes get forgotten about.

Nicolastuffedone · 21/06/2021 06:06

It takes 2 minutes to put a washing on…it doesn’t need to be left for the weekend! A couple of loads a day is all it takes if you’re going to run out of clean underwear!!

Namechercanged · 21/06/2021 06:10

He should have done it.

Of course you can use a washing machine in the evening. The bath swooshing would be noisier than most machines now!

You're martyring yourself OP.

Do you both work FT? Or does he see washing as your job?

AbsolutelyPatsy · 21/06/2021 06:29

i hope your dd is ok op Thanks

Timeflyin · 21/06/2021 06:30

I would probably have woke up early stuck it in a quick wash then dryer. Hand washing in the bath the avoid upsetting neighbours really ?

cookiecreampie · 21/06/2021 06:35

I would have just put it on a quick wash last night, hung up and tumble dried this morning. I don't know why you left it till the weekend though. It takes seconds to put a wash on and saves it building up.

Rangoon · 21/06/2021 06:41

Can you please explain something to a non-Brit? What is all this business about washing school uniforms every week? Sure our shirts got changed daily, but we weren't flinging our wool kilts, pleated skirts, cardigans, ties and blazers in the wash all the time.

CompanyCrowdFight · 21/06/2021 06:43

I'm sorry, but you're being daft. Any decent neighbour would accept a one off wash being done late if you have kids/have been in the hospital all day. If they still complain, they they're not reasonable neighbours.

Namechercanged · 21/06/2021 06:45

Rangoon Most UK uniforms are a polo shirt, cotton/polyester trousers or skirt, and a jersey jumper. Quick to wash and dry unlike the items you were wearing.