I am a first time mum who’s due soon. My MIL came to visit today and told my husband she will take the baby for a few days to stay with her when it’s born (without either of us there with the baby). Bare in mind I was sat right next to her but she didn’t even look at me or acknowledge me when she said that like I don’t have a say. My response was very polite but i said ‘No, you cannot take a newborn baby’ she then looked at me in surprise as if she wasn’t expecting me to respond. She then changed her response to ‘You both bring the baby and stay at mine for a week’. Of course my partners response was no and I also said no we will have health visitors, appointments etc.
I told my husband how I felt about the whole conversation and he just said she’s joking and of course we won’t let her take the baby like that. Of course my problem isn’t the fact that she’ll be able to take my newborn but it’s more about how she thinks she can ask her son and not me (the mother of the child). Once I explained how I felt he apologised on her behalf. But I know she will always behave like this and cause stress for me.
A few months ago she said something very similar to my husband over the phone. Something in the lines of keeping the baby over at hers during the weekend. At the time his response was yes you can just to make her happy because she was upset about something. During another phone conversation she referred to my baby as ‘her baby’ which I found quite strange. My SIL also mentioned to me that ‘mum is very excited about the baby, she might steal him’. I just find it very strange for MIL to behave like this.
I feel like this is just the beginning and there will be a lot of boundary issues in future. I understand this is her first grandchild and they have every right to be a part of my babies life. But I do feel there has to be boundaries which will be very hard to set with her as she can become a very difficult person. My husband and her often get into arguments due to her overbearing personality.