Is this comment racist?

[piedpeppa]

NC for this as appalled it even happened.

Something came up on tv about Japan and 4yr old DS (who asks questions non-stops these days) says to DH, what is Japan?
I'm in the kitchen and I can hear DH telling DS that it's a country with amazing technology and food etc. Then he goes, 'you know how me and mum and your teachers all look different?
Well in Japan, everyone looks the same.'
I couldn't believe he'd just said that!

I piped in immediately and said you can't teach him that, it's a rude stereotype and racist af!
He argues it's not racist and is actually true. I was so upset and told him he can't teach DS things like that! So shocked.

AIBU here????

So racist.

Wow, I’d be so angry if DH said something so ignorant and racist. It’s so wrong as well, how could over 126 million people possibly look the same? Ridiculous.

[quote lottiegarbanzo]Um, well, do you and your DH have different skin colours from each other? From some of the various teachers at DS's school? If so, your DH is not wrong - in the sense that there are very few white and black people in Japan.

I suspect that is what he meant. There has not been a big history of immigration to Japan. Quite unlike the UK.

I suspect he did not mean 'Japanese people all look the same'. Which would be an absurd and racist thing to say.

This is only Wikipedia but...

'Japanese society is linguistically, ethnically and culturally homogeneous.[47][48] It is composed of 98.1% Japanese citizens.[49] Although official statistics show near homogeneity, one analysis describe the population as “multi-ethnic”, although unofficial statistics still show that ethnic minorities are small compared with many other countries.[50][need quotation to verify] There is an increase of foreign residents, but they are not Japanese nationals and most temporarily live in Japan for a few months or years.'

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Japan[/quote]
Japan is not racially homogenous. Like a lot of other Asian countries it only refers to it’s citizens as Japanese. Amongst Japanese people those who identify as ‘Yamato’ (the race most white people recognise as ‘Japanese’) amount to approx 90%. This is the around the same % of people who identified as white in the US in the 50s-60s. The one difference in Japan is that there ‘mixed raced’ isn’t recognised. A lot of Yamato people are actually half-white (from after WW2) or half-other Asian. Some Yamato are even half-Indian or half-black. This is on top of the other ‘Japanese’ races you see in Japan.

So race is incredibly complex in Japan - far more complex than it is in white western countries.

Sure there's subtlety and complexity @ozanj but there are also far, far fewer black and white people in Japan than there are black and brown people in the UK. Especially in large, racially diverse cities in the UK (which his 'me, mummy and the teachers' comment implies).

I've been to Japan. I'm white. We were objects of curiosity, followed around the streets by children. Especially my blonde friend. I was the first white person my Japanese friend's grandparents had ever met. They had met one black man, 20 years earlier. This in a large city, not some rural backwater.

What I'd want to know from OP's DH, is what he meant by his silly comment. Were I OP I'd have asked him. Demonstrating the calm demolition of a silly statement is a far better life lesson than jumping to conclusions and calling people names.

He could have meant 'there is considerable racial homogeneity in Japan, far more so than here', or he could have meant 'I actually think Japanese people all look the same'.

I wouldn't expect anyone to have the detailed knowledge of Japanese racial subtleties that you have but there is always the internet, to check things when you're not sure.

That 'he argued it was true' isn't looking good for him. Further, in my view (as discussed upthread), deliberately linking skin colour with culture and geography is not helpful and doesn't come naturally to children, unless they're taught to do it.

So if it was a silly throwaway comment and he then recognised it wasn't the cleverest thing to say to a child, that would be one thing (whatever he actually thought or knew himself). Digging his heels in about it being a suitable thing to say to a child is quite another.

I’ve heard Japanese people make similar comments about white or black people on a number of occasions.

[quote lottiegarbanzo]Um, well, do you and your DH have different skin colours from each other? From some of the various teachers at DS's school? If so, your DH is not wrong - in the sense that there are very few white and black people in Japan.

I suspect that is what he meant. There has not been a big history of immigration to Japan. Quite unlike the UK.

I suspect he did not mean 'Japanese people all look the same'. Which would be an absurd and racist thing to say.

This is only Wikipedia but...

'Japanese society is linguistically, ethnically and culturally homogeneous.[47][48] It is composed of 98.1% Japanese citizens.[49] Although official statistics show near homogeneity, one analysis describe the population as “multi-ethnic”, although unofficial statistics still show that ethnic minorities are small compared with many other countries.[50][need quotation to verify] There is an increase of foreign residents, but they are not Japanese nationals and most temporarily live in Japan for a few months or years.'

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Japan[/quote]
Yes, DH is white British, I'm mixed black/ white hence DS is also mixed. Not sure if that excuses making sweeping generalisations still IMO. But I agree we're all different in terms of racial makeup.

His argument was generally they have more traits in common than other ethnicities such as hair and eye colour. Also he pointed out if that was said by a non-white person I wouldn't have called them racist.

Wow so racist and ignorant. What a plonker.

Racist, don’t know
A bit fucking stupid , yes !
White people all look the same to other races

@Nandakanda

I’ve heard Japanese people make similar comments about white or black people on a number of occasions.

Also racist

It is true that people are better at distinguishing the faces of the race they grew up with. That said the comment is of course racist. I wonder how people can debate these things in earnest but there we are.

@lottiegarbanzo

Sure there's subtlety and complexity *@ozanj* but there are also far, far fewer black and white people in Japan than there are black and brown people in the UK. Especially in large, racially diverse cities in the UK (which his 'me, mummy and the teachers' comment implies).

I've been to Japan. I'm white. We were objects of curiosity, followed around the streets by children. Especially my blonde friend. I was the first white person my Japanese friend's grandparents had ever met. They had met one black man, 20 years earlier. This in a large city, not some rural backwater.

What I'd want to know from OP's DH, is what he meant by his silly comment. Were I OP I'd have asked him. Demonstrating the calm demolition of a silly statement is a far better life lesson than jumping to conclusions and calling people names.

He could have meant 'there is considerable racial homogeneity in Japan, far more so than here', or he could have meant 'I actually think Japanese people all look the same'.

I wouldn't expect anyone to have the detailed knowledge of Japanese racial subtleties that you have but there is always the internet, to check things when you're not sure.

That 'he argued it was true' isn't looking good for him. Further, in my view (as discussed upthread), deliberately linking skin colour with culture and geography is not helpful and doesn't come naturally to children, unless they're taught to do it.

So if it was a silly throwaway comment and he then recognised it wasn't the cleverest thing to say to a child, that would be one thing (whatever he actually thought or knew himself). Digging his heels in about it being a suitable thing to say to a child is quite another.

Er where did you go in Japan? Are you quite sure that people and children followed you around in the streets because you were white?!? I ask because having 2 sons, one half African and one half Japanese and having visited Japan with them, the rural area close to Hamamatsu in Shizouka, this didn't happen to any of us at all, noone followed or stared at us. I'm also very pale, blonde hair, blue eyes.....

I feel like people say this because it seems to be a bit of an ongoing myth that some white people who go to Japan that Japanese people will be just amazed by whiteness 🙄.

They weren't in our experience, nor with my son's blackness.

OP , another vote here for you husband having made a very racist comment.

I learnt a thing from this thread prompting me to visit Wikipedia. That is that Japan does not collect census data about race. If you're born there you're Japanese and that's it.

From a different angle, something that blew my mind when talking to Japanese teenagers, (20ish years ago) was that they just assumed that we can tell the difference between a Brit, an American and a German, just by looking at them. Because they could tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Korean people just by looking at them. That speaks of a certain amount of racial homogeneity and lack of familiarity with the idea of mass migration.

There are other nationalities that a far more homogenous than we are. I would happily say that Swedes are typically tall, slim and blonde and that the Dutch are tall.

Though, I'd also say it's fairly easy to tell the difference between Swedes, Norwegians and Danes just by looking at them and that's not so much ethnic as cultural.

He’s racist and thick as shit. Japanese people think white British people look similar. We’re all programmed to be more likely to recognise individual characteristics in our own race. Sadly your husband is awful and stupid...

Ok @Changednamesorry your experience was different from mine.

I'm saying that happened because it happened. Believe what you like.

@lottiegarbanzo

I learnt a thing from this thread prompting me to visit Wikipedia. That is that Japan does not collect census data about race. If you're born there you're Japanese and that's it.

From a different angle, something that blew my mind when talking to Japanese teenagers, (20ish years ago) was that they just assumed that we can tell the difference between a Brit, an American and a German, just by looking at them. Because they could tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Korean people just by looking at them. That speaks of a certain amount of racial homogeneity and lack of familiarity with the idea of mass migration.

There are other nationalities that a far more homogenous than we are. I would happily say that Swedes are typically tall, slim and blonde and that the Dutch are tall.

Though, I'd also say it's fairly easy to tell the difference between Swedes, Norwegians and Danes just by looking at them and that's not so much ethnic as cultural.

when I was at university (early 80s) I was told by students from Northern Ireland that they could tell if someone was Catholic or Protestant just by looking.

Racist. Like saying all white or all black people look the same. Idiot man.

It's racist. You are married to a racist.

You choose what you do with that knowledge. but you can never unknow it.

And what you permit, you promote.

Stay married, if you want to be married to a racist.

Yep, racist and stupid comment.

Pull him up on it and ask what he thinks if someone said all white people look the same?

@usaidupipedinimmediately

I piped in immediately and said you can't teach him that, it's a rude stereotype and racist af! He argues it's not racist and is actually true this was not a great way of handling it in front of your dc.

You could have said "I think daddy meant that most Japanese are born with dark hair and eyes, not that they all look the same - I will show you some photos and we can also look at other things about Japan" and take it from there

I thought the same. Now the kid will tell everyone in the kindergarden that his daddy is racist af bc mommy said so bc he doesnt understand what these words mean

its very hard with kids, you never know what they pick up on and repeat