Is this comment racist?

[piedpeppa]

NC for this as appalled it even happened.

Something came up on tv about Japan and 4yr old DS (who asks questions non-stops these days) says to DH, what is Japan?
I'm in the kitchen and I can hear DH telling DS that it's a country with amazing technology and food etc. Then he goes, 'you know how me and mum and your teachers all look different?
Well in Japan, everyone looks the same.'
I couldn't believe he'd just said that!

I piped in immediately and said you can't teach him that, it's a rude stereotype and racist af!
He argues it's not racist and is actually true. I was so upset and told him he can't teach DS things like that! So shocked.

AIBU here????

Japan is one of the least racially diverse countries (its like 99% Japanese). And it’s well known that people find it harder to identify faces of people from other races and accents from other languages.

@Hallyup6

Nope, not racist because I'm sure if you asked a Japanese person, they'd say that everyone in the UK looks the same, and I don't find that offensive in the slightest.

You should probably educate yourself on what racism is...

@Hallyup6

Nope, not racist because I'm sure if you asked a Japanese person, they'd say that everyone in the UK looks the same, and I don't find that offensive in the slightest.

Whether someone if offended by it or not is by the by...

It's just as racist to say 'The English are such wonderful people'. Few English people would be offended by that, but it's a racist comment all the same.

Um, well, do you and your DH have different skin colours from each other? From some of the various teachers at DS's school? If so, your DH is not wrong - in the sense that there are very few white and black people in Japan.

I suspect that is what he meant. There has not been a big history of immigration to Japan. Quite unlike the UK.

I suspect he did not mean 'Japanese people all look the same'. Which would be an absurd and racist thing to say.

This is only Wikipedia but...

'Japanese society is linguistically, ethnically and culturally homogeneous.[47][48] It is composed of 98.1% Japanese citizens.[49] Although official statistics show near homogeneity, one analysis describe the population as “multi-ethnic”, although unofficial statistics still show that ethnic minorities are small compared with many other countries.[50][need quotation to verify] There is an increase of foreign residents, but they are not Japanese nationals and most temporarily live in Japan for a few months or years.'

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_Japan

Jesus, why the scramble to defend this blatantly racist comment?

@Tobermorie

Japan is one of the least racially diverse countries (its like 99% Japanese). And it’s well known that people find it harder to identify faces of people from other races and accents from other languages.

YOU (or ops husband) might find it hard, that doesn’t mean they ACTUALLY look the same. (Which is what he said). That’s YOUR perception based on your limited interaction with Japanese people.

Does he honestly think it's true and that Japanese people have to ID their wives/friends etc to check they're shagging or talking to the right people??? Mind blowing.

I piped in immediately and said you can't teach him that, it's a rude stereotype and racist af! He argues it's not racist and is actually true this was not a great way of handling it in front of your dc.

You could have said "I think daddy meant that most Japanese are born with dark hair and eyes, not that they all look the same - I will show you some photos and we can also look at other things about Japan" and take it from there

I suspect he did not mean 'Japanese people all look the same'. Which would be an absurd and racist thing to say.

erm why do you suspect he didn’t mean that. That is exactly what he said.

He argues it's not racist and is actually true.

I think this is the problem. I know someone who I could imagine would say this to a child as a bit of a joke, in bad taste yes, but they’d then quickly follow it up with ‘only joking’. Of course people say this, people make a joke out of the fact that people of different races look similar when you don’t spend much time around them - I’m sure if someone didn’t spend time around Caucasians much they’d think the same - but most people recognise it’s not inherently true, it’s just down to personal experience and perception. To actually argue that it is true is just bizarre, ignorant and yes, racist.

Well I'm embarrassed to admit it but I do sometimes struggle to tell the difference between Asian people (from the same ethnicities). This can also happen amongst similar looking white British people but it is a fact that there are more subtle differences (e.g. hair colour and eye colour) amongst the Japanese population to observe. They do not all look the same though, that is simply not true. I would never ever admit this struggle in real life, it's not something I'm proud of. I see it as my own lack of observation skills rather than anything else.

Wow. Effectively 'They all look the same to me.'

I never understand why MN attracts so many racist posters.

@Tobermorie

Japan is one of the least racially diverse countries (its like 99% Japanese). And it’s well known that people find it harder to identify faces of people from other races and accents from other languages.

This does make sense!

I'm white British, and a non-white British colleague from a different country and ethnicity once told me that to her, we all looked the same. I don't think she was being malicious, so I do think some people do just find it difficult to distinguish between people of a different race. That may explain his comment, but it doesn't excuse it, it's still racist. He really should be more self aware, just because he finds it difficult to distinguish between Japanese people, doesn't mean that they all look the same!

@Talkwhilstyouwalk

Well I'm embarrassed to admit it but I do sometimes struggle to tell the difference between Asian people (from the same ethnicities). This can also happen amongst similar looking white British people but it is a fact that there are more subtle differences (e.g. hair colour and eye colour) amongst the Japanese population to observe. They do not all look the same though, that is simply not true. I would never ever admit this struggle in real life, it's not something I'm proud of. I see it as my own lack of observation skills rather than anything else.

As pp have said, that's common if you haven't met many people of a particular race especially if the ones you do happen to meet are of a similar height or build.

It's not the same as making a sweeping statement that 'they all look the same'.

I used to mistake a Chinese friend for my white husband if I caught him out of the corner of my eye because they are the same height, build and had the same hair colour, texture and style.

What I've found, is that children don't relate skin colour to geographic origin, unless you teach them to. DC didn't start to make that connection until aged about 7 or 8 and then only from other people's use of terms like 'Asian' rather than 'brown-skinned'. They might gradually have put together the idea that more of the brown-skinned children might have relatives in India or Pakistan, or not, really.

As far as DC was concerned, there were British people with different skin colours. Some of them, of all colours, might have family-members living in other parts of the world.

I've found it such a seismic shift from my parents' and even my generation's 'natural' association between skin colour and geographic links.

From that point of view, Japan is very different from the UK, in that almost everyone has roughly the same skin colour.

However, drawing the child's attention to the idea of racial (rather than just skin colour - not the same thing) difference, was not very helpful.

Shockingly racist and ignorant.

If you have to ask, that means you know it is but don't want it to be true...

Maybe he meant that Japan is an ethnically homogenous country with virtually no immigration/diversity, whereas here we have a lot of diverse communitys and ethnicities which is true.

Yes, it is racist, and it is untrue. While the Japanese people do have a "type," within that type (dark hair, skin color, dark eyes with epicanthic fold), there are as many variations of feature as any other group. Due to my earlier work and upbringing, I have a couple of dozen Japanese friends/acquaintances. Tell your husband that I have no trouble at all telling one from the other...even in dim light!

@me4real

Wow. Effectively 'They all look the same to me.'

No, but I do struggle at times. That's just me telling the truth, it's not something I'm proud of. It sounds like there are some well researched scientific reasons for this. I'm sure if I had the opportunity to spend some time experiencing the Japanese culture, this would not be an issue for me. And I would absolutely love to go to Japan and learn more about it!!!

@sleepygnome

Maybe he meant that Japan is an ethnically homogenous country with virtually no immigration/diversity, whereas here we have a lot of diverse communitys and ethnicities which is true.

Which is still not true.

Japan is still quite a homogeneous society, so perhaps he was expressing that very clumsily.

However if he truly thinks they all look the same he's not just a racist he's an imbecile. How does he think these identical people could tell each other apart?! Perhaps you should book an educational trip to Tokyo...

Maybe he meant that Japan is an ethnically homogenous country with virtually no immigration/diversity, whereas here we have a lot of diverse communitys and ethnicities which is true.

And saying ‘they all look the same’ is a child friendly way of putting that? Give me a break.