Is this comment racist?

[piedpeppa]

NC for this as appalled it even happened.

Something came up on tv about Japan and 4yr old DS (who asks questions non-stops these days) says to DH, what is Japan?
I'm in the kitchen and I can hear DH telling DS that it's a country with amazing technology and food etc. Then he goes, 'you know how me and mum and your teachers all look different?
Well in Japan, everyone looks the same.'
I couldn't believe he'd just said that!

I piped in immediately and said you can't teach him that, it's a rude stereotype and racist af!
He argues it's not racist and is actually true. I was so upset and told him he can't teach DS things like that! So shocked.

AIBU here????

Both racist and incredibly stupid!

How the hell can he even think all Japanese people look the same? Is he blind or just stupid?

@ItsAllGoingToBeFine

Grasping at straws, could he have been commenting on the fact that Japan is less racially diverse than the UK. Eg a quick Google suggests that 86% of the population of E/W is white, whereas Japan is over 98% Japanese?

That is indeed grasping at straws.

I have 4 sisters. We all have the same parents. Sure, different sperm and egg combo each time, but even though we genuinely have some common features that could trip you up… funnily enough, nobody thinks we 4 white girls look the same 🙄

Just go on Google images and show him lots of different pictures of Japanese faces and explain daddy was wrong to think that. It's an opportunity to teach.

@CarlottaValdez

It is racist but it’s also just weirdly thick.

My thoughts exactly.

Yes it's racist and he shouldn't be teaching this to a child. Sort him out!!!

Racist and ignorant
Saying all Japanese people look the same is like saying all Finnish people look the same because they're (mostly) blond haired and blue eyed.

Does he genuinely think there's zero variation in skin tone, bone structure, hairline, eye shape?
He sounds rather dim

@EllaBlaire

Yes it is racist.

However, it is true that people are better at distinguishing faces of the race they have grown up seeing the most.

E.g. if you have grown up surrounded by mainly white people you will be better at telling apart two similar looking white people. Someone who has grown up in Japan will be better at distinguishing between two similar looking Japanese people than they will be distinguishing between two similar looking white people.

But still racist.

There is an element of truth to that...

I worked in Hong Kong for a long time and once I asked one of my Chinese colleagues to describe a guest who needed some assistance to me... and his response was ‘I can’t, you foreigners all look the same’.

Yeah, that is super racist

There was a study done fairly recently that suggested different cultures often have difficulty recognising facial differences in other cultures. Quite interesting really.

Of course they don't all look the same, but it may be true that we struggle to differentiate between them to the same level as a more familiar culture.

Is it a racist comment? I'd say so yes. Pretty much anytime 'they all' is uttered, it's going to be followed by a sweeping generalisation that is prejudiced. When that prejudice is based on race, it's by definition, racist.

Absolutely racist - so blatantly obviously racist

Inappropriate/racist to teach to a child

It is true that its harder to distinguish people you haven't been exposed to before, especially in a place with less diversity. This usually improves with greater exposure to that population.

However, for him to literally imply that people of the same ethnicity all look the same is wrong.

@VerticalHorizon there may have been further recent studies but I was writing about this in psychology A level in 1985!

And Wiki gives 1914 as the first paper.
Feingold CA (1914). "The influence of environment on identification of persons and things". Journal of Criminal Law and Police Science. 5 (1): 39–51. doi:10.2307/1133283. JSTOR 1133283.

So OP’s idiot husband really has no excuse!!

Yes it's easier to recognise facial differences 'within race' that doesn't mean an entire nation of people look the same. Japanese isn't even a race.

The men in the attached pics have very obvious facial differences

Thanks for all your informed responses. I feel red hot with shame reliving the moment it happened, but like a PP said it's a teachable moment. 😳

I try as much as possible not to influence DS with my views/perceptions of people's physical appearances so DH is now aware he can't repeat such offensive stereotypes around DS.

EllaBlaire above is absolutely right.

People are good at telling people apart & recognising differences in ethnicities that they are grew up with (or I assume live among for a time). But they are less good at this with ethnic groups that they have less experience of.
Which is why if you grow up in, say, a white part of the UK you will probably find that Japanese people are harder to tell apart. And a Japanese person brought up in Japan would think the same about you. But if you moved to Japan, you would catch on.

So I guess he's telling some kind of truth. But he's a bit naive and/or not expressing himself well. (Or racist?)

It's kind of glib statement that gets uttered with very little thought, and often without any malice, but it's incredibly damaging.

Ultimately, it helps perpetuate racism however casual.

So many cross-posts - sorry!

Well...I sort of know what he means. I have prosopagnosia (face blindness) and I did find the Japanese scenes in Giri/Haji difficult to follow. I look for obvious physical differences to tell actors apart, and there were fewer of these in the scenes shot in a country where everybody has black hair and dark brown eyes! I have problems following movies with a mainly caucasian cast too, if for example it's a war film and most of the actors are men in camo gear, but at least in this situation there is usually somebody with red hair, someone with blue eyes, etc, so it helps a bit.

So yes, I can see your DH's point (maybe he has prosopagnosia too?), but I agree that it isn't a helpful idea to plant in a child's head.

@StillWeRise

what did your DH mean? I think it might be true that there is little ethnic diversity in Japan

Ah yes - I guess all white Western European people look the same too right?

@WaltzingToWalsingham

Well...I sort of know what he means. I have prosopagnosia (face blindness) and I did find the Japanese scenes in Giri/Haji difficult to follow. I look for obvious physical differences to tell actors apart, and there were fewer of these in the scenes shot in a country where everybody has black hair and dark brown eyes! I have problems following movies with a mainly caucasian cast too, if for example it's a war film and most of the actors are men in camo gear, but at least in this situation there is usually somebody with red hair, someone with blue eyes, etc, so it helps a bit.

So yes, I can see your DH's point (maybe he has prosopagnosia too?), but I agree that it isn't a helpful idea to plant in a child's head.

Your condition does not mean that a nation of people all look the same.

It means you struggle to recognise faces regardless of nationality

When I was a teenager I joined a school with many pupils from Hong Kong - I have to be honest and say they did initially similar to me and it was hard to recognise and distinguish some faces. But with time that changed and then it felt weird to have initially thought that. So I guess if you don’t spend time around many South East Asian people you can find they look quite similar - but surely a grown adult man knows that’s down to their own ignorance and perception and not because they actually look the same. Because of course they don’t. So yes, racist. Or just very stupid...

Well for starters I don't think you could get much more different than a Sumo wrestler and a Geisha in appearance....

@WaltzingToWalsingham fucking hell, I thought the clutching at straws was earlier… why is it more likely that the husband has prosopagnosia* than that he is stupid and racist?

*not only has it but (a) OP doesn’t know / hasn’t mentioned it (b) would be aware then that his condition is the issue and therefore not something to present as fact to his son?!

@Freckers

Well for starters I don't think you could get much more different than a Sumo wrestler and a Geisha in appearance....

Well, you might think that...

but after 4 G&T's, such a mistake was made, and therein lies just the start of the troubles that ensued thereafter on our date...