I went on a bender and told friends im related to an elderly dead singer from the 80s

[AdifferentGoat]

Simple as that. Not proud of my behaviour. I just exploded and while i certainly drank enough to out party the elderly white singer im allegedly related to... Am i being unreasonable to to flee the country as to escape the humuliation?

These arent the closest of friends but certainly a nice group of ladies. It's either i die or postshop photos of myself into some of his later days and hooe no one wonders why i haven't aged in 20 years ..Im shocked no one has clocked on the age difference.

Oh God. Back to sobriety

Haaaa you sound hilarious. Be my friend please

You could just say drunk you and sober you, are not related!

Oh Lord.

For some reason I tell people I'm an opera singer. Not just when I'm plastered, also when I'm on a plane and someone starts a conversation.

Try doing that sober.

This thread is wonderful. I’m giggling like a loon.

I think the worst thing I've done while drunk is pretending to think that the guy I was chatting with all night was his brother.
I had a sudden feeling that the guy I was chatting with fancied me - I had a very messy history with the brother and didn't want to go there ...again.

I have a messy history with more than one set of brothers I'm sorry to say.

Still cringe thinking about it and the look on this very nice man's face over a quarter of a century later.

Kenny understands:

I woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

KENNY ROGERS

I'm fucking dying laughing over here.

Oh OP!!! That's legen - wait for it - dary.

Haha! So funny. I once got very drunk and tried to convince people and myself I worked with the penguins at London zoo. Went into detail about how we trained them to swim near the glass for the spectactors and we were trying to teach them how to jump out of the water like shamu (famous whale show in Florida). In reality I worked in a pub.....the same pub I'd gotten drunk in and told the regulars about my "job" and so from then on they'd ask me "how are the penguins croprotation?!!" until I left that job goodness knows why.....I've never done that before or after ???

@Mycatismadeofstringcheese

Kenny understands:

I woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

Im sure he does. Wherever he is I hope he knows he 'decorated my life and showed me a where dreams are a part...' Oh dear

@Croprotationinthe14thcentury

Haha! So funny. I once got very drunk and tried to convince people and myself I worked with the penguins at London zoo. Went into detail about how we trained them to swim near the glass for the spectactors and we were trying to teach them how to jump out of the water like shamu (famous whale show in Florida). In reality I worked in a pub.....the same pub I'd gotten drunk in and told the regulars about my "job" and so from then on they'd ask me "how are the penguins croprotation?!!" until I left that job goodness knows why.....I've never done that before or after ???

Hahahaha the creativity at work here. Had you read anything about penguins? It's not too late to find your true calling. Perhaps we can join in arms and save the world's animal population together. Naturally between I advising Putin

@ChardonnaysPetDragon

Oh Lord.

For some reason I tell people I'm an opera singer. Not just when I'm plastered, also when I'm on a plane and someone starts a conversation.

Try doing that sober.

Does anyone ask you to sing at dinner parties? And if so, do you state your artistic voice isn't so cheap as to be swung around from random dinner party to another

Since we are both so clearly musical, maybe we shouks fome a new age fusion kind of band. One in which my only call to fame is a dead fake relative and yours, a fake singing voice. I think eventually you'll get tired of my tales and perhaps enter interpretive dance 💃

@ImitationofBeing

Oh *@adifferentgoat* I love you, we are kindred spirits. Self sabotage - it's like I do it when my mind is bored or trying to be more interesting than I am.

At a festival I became 'Australian' to the fellow campers near our tent. Fuck knows why I decided on that.
My mates were totally bemused for 4 days as I was all "G'day' and surfing talk (I've never surfed, I can only swim a length and get scared when out of my depth).

And when I was 9 I told my friend I went to boarding school. Full details about dorms, weekend visits etc. My friend never asked how I managed to sit next to her in class everyday and how we lived opposite each other and walked to school together.

I would laugh but my hangover has me plastered to the couch. I mean an Australian accent. You took the role very seriously indeed. Shocked no one has forced a Grammy award in your arms 😂😂

I think I love you too and we need to go surfing one day between my imaginary urgent animal rescue work

I can't sing to save my life, what I know about opera is not much, to say the least.

I suppose I'm safe on a plane, or train, and anyone asks me to sing, then I don't know, I don't remember doing it, then again, who knows....

Just why?

When I was a child I had the same surname as a famous singer at the time and told all my friends he was my uncle, even now, some of them still think it's true.

I didn't even have the excuse of being drunk.

Kenny Rogers is dead?!

This has the makings of a thread for Classics!

There are 4 hungry children who could do with your assistance op. And if you could fit in dealing with the crop in the field it'd be a great help

I was going to say that, contrary to the common mishearing of this autobiographical song as demonstrated above, Kenny actually has 400 children - so after a generation or two, we're most probably all related to him.

Alcohol can make a Gambler out of the best of us, though.

@LunaNorth

Kenny Rogers is dead?!

I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I thought it was common knowledge. As his fake niece I guess I'd in the know. My deepest condolences.

I am currently wondering what to do about my fake dogs. I don't have the emotional bandwith to apologise for my dead of the night fake rescue. There have been some rumblings of potential adoptive parents. Apparently I am quite convincing while drunk. For now I've said I holding on the dogs as they have had too much instability in their life.

F**k me. I need to be a better person. My drunk self is far more noble. Currently my still hungover self (yes it has been this long) is eating leftover pasta while baby tumbles around my dying body. Oh I also made a playdate for my daughter I cannot escape. Maybe I'll tell them I died.

And to drink more water and seek forgiveness from karma god.

The empty wine box is by edge of bed. If i had the strength id lick it but for now it lies there comatose, mocking me.

Tomorrow I shall wake and go for a run and sweat off my shame.

@YanTanTethera123

This has the makings of a thread for Classics!

No please. This is the last thing anyone needs to be known for At least let me adopt out imaginary mutt by name of Balthezar and his puppies (names kept hidden as to not out myself more than I have)

@championthewonderhorse70

Haaaa you sound hilarious. Be my friend please

At least our friendship will start with your knowing I'm a mad woman when drunk. Didn't hurt anyone or get aggressive or blackout. I did however invent enough tales that I am having troubke deciphering between what is real or not. Part of me is disappointed to learn dear old Kenny isn't an uncle. Oh well. Maybe next time, it will be Barry Manilow. One can only hope and see.

Okay at this point I know I am rambling but I feel so embarrassed. I can almost for certain say I have lost a new friend or two or I am projecting. Again, I blame no one but myself for this debacle.

I have also recently discovered a sent a photo of myself wearing shorts and a crumbly shirt stating that modern day standards of body needed to be burnt at stake. All this sounds just mad. I wonder what else is in this treasure pile from hell? Further how did I have so much time to ro all this?

Anyway I will stop rambling. I want to thank you all kind people for commiseration and for those that raised concern, I get it. I hope to just make it through today and survive splash pad without chugging the water for dear life. Never have I longed for a weather warning that would have us stranded at home for at least a week. Or until I forgot or rather live through this hangover.

At a gig in London I told a very well known comedian I was a stunt rider based in Arizona. I wasn't, I worked in a shop in Bedfordshire. Yet over the course of the evening I managed to regale him (and his friends) with many tales of various films and music videos I'd worked on. I still cringe when his name comes up.

@EsmesRedPetticoat

A friend of my husbands once went to the wedding of his girlfriends family members, got very drunk, and spent the entire night telling everyone he was Tom Daley. He proceeded to try to demonstrate his diving technique by leaping off the stage onto the dance floor!

Thank you for sharing. This has absolutely made my day!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not much help but I went out with a guy once who told me he nearly made it into a boy and by one of the talent shows in the early 2000's (pop stars was it?). Said he made it to the last 10.

It obviously wasn't true! 😂

I wouldn't worry about it op. They aren't like to check up if you actually are related or not. We could all be related to anyone.

The more drunk I am, the more close relatives I have from the East End underworld. I'm Peggy Mitchell by the end of a really long session.