I went on a bender and told friends im related to an elderly dead singer from the 80s

[AdifferentGoat]

Simple as that. Not proud of my behaviour. I just exploded and while i certainly drank enough to out party the elderly white singer im allegedly related to... Am i being unreasonable to to flee the country as to escape the humuliation?

These arent the closest of friends but certainly a nice group of ladies. It's either i die or postshop photos of myself into some of his later days and hooe no one wonders why i haven't aged in 20 years ..Im shocked no one has clocked on the age difference.

Oh God. Back to sobriety

@Bluesheep8

OP your self awareness and honesty is to be applauded. And finding humour in our struggles can actually be a strength

Thank you. Im weeping into the fur of my fake dogs. Jokes aside too I appreciate the kindness so much. I have been eating myself alive.

We've all been there, done that @Labradooodle... some of the profanities I have engaged in while on the late night tube... And there's always some poor sober person who's just finished a shift looking half amused/half mortified.

OP this made my afternoon!

@menopause59

I can honestly say I have never made up a story whilst drunk.

Loving the stories though, I'm off out tonight and this thread is making me think I might like to try some of the stories tonight

You can hit me up for stories. Give me a theme and I'll make the magic happen 😂

You're a better person than I am, OP - before I saw your update I had come up with a banging lie to cover up the last one, but I see that it is unnecessary because you already know when to walk away and when to run...!

Oh my god Kenny Rogers is dead! I've been under a rock for 12 months!

Okay. So things have gotten worse. I have two hamsters. Apparently I spent a large portion of the night sharing stories of their comings and goings. Little hammies look very well fed so I'm assuming as I was drinking I was feeding them too.

Everyone on my social media has been exposed to my little hammies and their hourly emotions. I may or may not have quoted Sara Teasdale.

How will I ever recover??

@Godmothered

Oh my god Kenny Rogers is dead! I've been under a rock for 12 months!

Woman. My fake relative has been under the ground for a while. Such a pity. A great man. I have probably sang his praises louder than any of his real relatives.

Until you indicated you were in a different time zone, I was impressed that you were still drunk at this time in the UK 😂 don’t beat yourself up too much - you sound like great fun to be around. Hope Putin is ok when he calls and you remember to feed the fake dogs 😉

@Netaporter

Until you indicated you were in a different time zone, I was impressed that you were still drunk at this time in the UK 😂 don’t beat yourself up too much - you sound like great fun to be around. Hope Putin is ok when he calls and you remember to feed the fake dogs 😉

I'm in the US. Thank you. I'll try and get past this. It's going to take me a life time to catch up on how spectacularly mindbendingly wonderful I have been in my fake drunken life.

I'll give Putin my best from your good self.

Whilst drunk I have:

• affected a welsh accent and pretended to be Welsh. To people who know me. And know I’m from ... not wales.
• made up my own Esperanto-ish language, convinced myself it was Portuguese, and tried to seduce a barman with it.
• claimed to be an undercover policewoman “on a case”
• accidentally hit on a VERY famous musician (so blind drunk I didn’t recognise them) and asked them to a party the next night. Gave them my number and everything apparently.

(Hoping this won’t out me- if you recognise me..... shhhh!)

We’ve all done it. You’re fine. You just have to own it.

I really had no idea it was so common to make up lies like some on this thread. I've never done this, have I been living under a rock?

Oh @adifferentgoat
I love you, we are kindred spirits.
Self sabotage - it's like I do it when my mind is bored or trying to be more interesting than I am.

At a festival I became 'Australian' to the fellow campers near our tent. Fuck knows why I decided on that.
My mates were totally bemused for 4 days as I was all "G'day' and surfing talk (I've never surfed, I can only swim a length and get scared when out of my depth).

And when I was 9 I told my friend I went to boarding school. Full details about dorms, weekend visits etc. My friend never asked how I managed to sit next to her in class everyday and how we lived opposite each other and walked to school together.

I really want to go out drinking now and see if me or any of my friends are as entertaining as this!

I’d style it out with “I don’t recall saying that” and giving them a face !

I once spent the entire drunken journey home back in the 00s telling the taxi driver that I was a songwriter for Justin Timberlake's Justified album. I remember being incredulous he didn't believe me and actually getting pissed off. When I woke up the next morning the booklet from the CD was out on the floor along with some scribbles on a notebook about the taxi company. I think my plan had been to write to him to prove I wasn't lying.

Why- I just don't know. Needless to say I didn't follow that up.

I read that when you are at a certain stage of drunkeness all your body cares about is keeping you breathing and running your organs, it just doesn't have capacity for regulating your memories, decision making and impulse control. That's why I believe 'in vino veritas' is bullshit.

You'll feel much better after the hangxiety passes OP. You didn't harm or hurt anyone or act maliciously which is more than can be said for most drunken regrets!

Best thread ever, surely this is one for the classics?

OP you sound fab

This is so funny.

OP - two Nurofen and a banana. Lots of water. Hope you're feeling better soon.

I have made a total arse of myself when drunk. You have really made me laugh today, (horrible day).

By the way I love Kenny Rogers, what a voice.

I also put on a fake Yorkshire accent once whilst pissed

I’m from the south west and very much sound like it so I’m not sure my fake Yorkshire accent was as convincing as pissed me imagined. Especially as I was with a group of friends who I’d known for years and knew full well I wasn’t from Yorkshire.

And a couple of years ago at a festival I was in the queue for the toilets. We had back stage passes and someone asked how I’d got it so I told them Lily Allen was my sister. They were like “OMG - that means Keith Allen is your dad!!”

You sound like a lovely person!
Don’t be disappointed in yourself. You ARE doing well. You’ve just had a blip.
And given so many people a good chuckle this afternoon. 😂
Bet everyone had a good laugh with you last night and probably knew it wasn’t real. No one was harmed by your story.
Tomorrow is a new day .

Nobody is perfect all the time. 🌹

For context I'm Australian but live in the UK. Dunk Lady Fidget went to school with a lot of famous Australians within a plausible(ish) age bracket. Thankfully none of my fellow drinkers have ever googled said celebrities or asked me much about them. My husband finds it hilarious and always asks me how my good friend Kylie is.

*drunk not dunk

This is hilarious, drunk talk is big talk!

DH once spent the night at a friend's birthday party in London drunkenly telling some young women he was a brain surgeon at Leeds General Infirmary. I wish!

I once answered my phone after a night out, told my friend I was in a bed and it was comfy and go away. She was only checking if I was home safe
Woke up the next day covered in what I thought was blood, except it was chilli sauce. The takeaway remnants were in bed with me, I had spilled the chilli sauce over my neighbours car and the taxi driver returned my shoes while calling me Cinderella

And never mind the great Kenny, I think you might be related to me!
I've just remembered telling a bar full of people many years ago that I was at Oxford University and was part of the Oxford Ladies rowing team (I was actually at a Poly in the north of England) when I came back from the toilet, I thought the people I told that to had all left. When my friends and I later moved into another part of the pub, I told the people there that I was Spanish (I do speak a bit of Spanish) I maintained this the whole evening.
I was told the next day that the same people had just moved from one bar to another and it was infact the same people so they got a special 2 for 1.

@AdifferentGoat 'I'm related to someone famous, but I'm not telling you who...'

Boring. Nothing to see here. Move on everyone.............