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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Short school skirts

282 replies

Kteeb1 · 17/06/2021 16:01

AIBU to think the reason given to me for girls not wearing skirts at school is worrying? So just been called by the school. Apparently all parents have been because girls skirts are very short and it's against school policy. I can only assume the little tyke (13) is rolling her school skirt up because it's not short when she leaves the house and ill sort it when she gets in, but I am concerned with what the female teacher said to me. The reason why the girls skirts shouldn't be short is because male teachers and other boys may feel uncomfortable. Also out of school grounds the girls might be attacked. And young girls must learn to protect their dignity. I have no problem with a uniform and following it, but if male teachers are uncomfortable in seeing a 13 year old with a short skirt, should they really be teaching? And why are we saying what a person wears means they may be attacked. I did ask if any girls had been attacked and I didn't get an answer. I just think it's a really bad message that girls have to change what they wear for those reasons.

OP posts:
ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 17/06/2021 16:02

Wasn't there recently something in the press about girls dress code being victim blaming?

Will try to find link.

newnortherner111 · 17/06/2021 16:06

YANBU to be concerned about the reason given. I can support modesty and a policy to stop anyone feeling cold in certain weather conditions, but not because of the male gaze.

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 17/06/2021 16:06

here

Drivingmeupthewall · 17/06/2021 16:08

So it would be the girl’s fault were a poor innocent male pupil or male teacher to lose control in the presence of said skirt and accidentally rape her? Right-o. 🤦🏼‍♀️

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 17/06/2021 16:22

I don't particularly enjoy seeing teenage girls' inner thighs and gussets when they sit down/their arse cheeks when they go upstairs either. Sometimes I see even more than that, not because I'm looking with malevolent intent but because it's in my line of sight, I can't work blindfolded and frankly, it's all out on display for anybody to see anyhow.

If I chose to deliberately shorten my clothes so that was what everybody saw at work, neither they nor their parents would appreciate it.

ProfPickles · 17/06/2021 16:22

I'm female and work in a school and the girls in short skirts make me feel uncomfortable.

They're so short I see one of their bums every single day and these are children. I don't want to see the bums of children and girls wearing skirts so short that if you walk behind them up the stairs you can see up.

I feel like the boys uniforms present them as smart preparing for the work place (one argument made for a smart uniform) and the girls does them a disservice because mini skirts so short you can see bum cheeks every day isn't good enough. The women working there wouldn't be allowed to wear them so why are our girls seen as less important?

I'm always a bit confused when people stick up for girls wearing tiny skirts, it just seems like an obvious way girls are sexualised from a young age

londonmummy1966 · 17/06/2021 16:27

I have sympathy with the school if they have specified that skirts should be a certain length and girls are coming in with skirts that are shorter - eg girls uniform skirts should be on or below the knee and girls have skirts that are 6 inches above. However, teenage girls (including no doubt the majority of MNetters) have always rolled them up and no doubt always will so teachers need to have strategies to deal with them. DDs teachers usually asked to see her waistband... Another local school have an ankle length "skirt of shame" which is handed out to routine offenders.

I do feel a little bit sorry for male teachers trying to enforce uniform rules though as my little tyke ended up in detention for asking a male teacher who told her to roll her skirt down to regulation length why he was looking there in the first place.

LoopTheLoops · 17/06/2021 16:30

TBf some of the skirts girls wear around here barely cover their bums.

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 17/06/2021 16:34

I’m all for not victim blaming but some of the skirts I see around here on secondary school girls are indecent and completely inappropriate for school. I reckon if it’s too short to wear to a workplace then it’s too short for school.

Original poster
Kteeb1 · 17/06/2021 16:37

I think my problem is by saying short skirts make male teachers uncomfortable, rather than all teachers, it is sexulising them. Saying that a girl may be attacked because her skirt is short is both untrue and dangerous. As I said I have no issues with a uniform policy being enforced. I have just had a discussion with said child and confirmed this, and confirmed that I wouldn't be able to wear what I am wearing (an off the shoulder top) at work. But not because my male colleagues wouldn't be able to control themselves or I may get raped on the tube, but because its not professional. If I get raped on the tube its nothing to do with what I was wearing. Sarah Everard was wearing a coat and hat and gloves. It's a bad message to give our young people, boys and girls.

OP posts:
Tlollj · 17/06/2021 16:48

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I think that’s the most sensible answer to this debate tbh.
Nothing to do with men/ boys just girls not flashing all and sundry.

SoupDragon · 17/06/2021 16:50

I'm uncomfortable with suggesting they need to stop doing it because of the boys but what I really don't get is why girls shorten their skirts.

Ozanj · 17/06/2021 16:56

The girls who shorten their skirts do it to get male attention at all or any cost. It is most definitely for the boys so I would punish her by making her wear the trouser option.

Mymapuddlington · 17/06/2021 16:58

I have seen schoolgirls wearing short skirts and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Usually a flash of knickers or bum cheeks hanging out, just awful.

3scape · 17/06/2021 17:00

I don't expose myself in public. Children (male and female) need to learn that there are limits to what it is acceptable to make other people see in some contexts.

3scape · 17/06/2021 17:01

*school is not the beach

LittleGwyneth · 17/06/2021 17:09

They should be telling girls that skirts are a uniform length, and if they're not wearing them at the correct length, they're not wearing the uniform. Just the same as not being allowed to make your tie shorter.

They should not be telling girls that their uniform has anything to do with whether they are attacked or not, or that they are 'distracting' to anyone else. If their teachers aren't able to teach without looking at pupil's legs, I suggest they are in the wrong career.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 17/06/2021 17:09

I saw a an approximately 14 year old girls arse and fanny the other day when she bent over to fix her shoe. Not sure if she had a thong on that wasn't covering properly, or just no knickers at all. She did have tights, but they were sheer, but yes, that would make anyone feel uncomfortable, so not sure why they are specifying male teachers and boys. Well maybe because if they look (which it's hard not to when someone's arse cheeks are hanging out) people could accuse them of perving, unlike if I Iooked, I imagine no one would even notice because I'm female.
It shouldn't be put across as potentially making them feel uncomfortable though.

SoupDragon · 17/06/2021 17:13

@Ozanj

The girls who shorten their skirts do it to get male attention at all or any cost. It is most definitely for the boys so I would punish her by making her wear the trouser option.
Except DD does it and she is at a girls school. And hates attention. I don't get it.
LittleGwyneth · 17/06/2021 17:15

@Ozanj

The girls who shorten their skirts do it to get male attention at all or any cost. It is most definitely for the boys so I would punish her by making her wear the trouser option.
I desperately hope that you don't have daughters.
StoneofDestiny · 17/06/2021 17:15

I don't particularly enjoy seeing teenage girls' inner thighs and gussets when they sit down/their arse cheeks when they go upstairs either. Sometimes I see even more than that, not because I'm looking with malevolent intent but because it's in my line of sight, I can't work blindfolded and frankly, it's all out on display for anybody to see anyhow

Exactly. Common sense and obvious.

(That explanation on the phone was not necessary or appropriate and leaves the school open to criticism, but a parent shouldn't have to ask as it's obvious).
.

Mymapuddlington · 17/06/2021 17:16

@SoupDragon I’ll probably get pounced on for this but I blame the media, it’s normal to watch music videos with half naked women writhing about singing about sex, social media seems to be a bizarre competition of half naked / full naked images. No getting away from it unfortunately.

Grellbunt · 17/06/2021 17:18

If the boys flashed their bits that would be inappropriate too. It's just that they don't.

StoneofDestiny · 17/06/2021 17:20

Girls aren't necessarily shortening their skirts - they are buying them short - and with the Lycra close fitting ones they ride up further. Some wear shorts underneath so they know that exposure is likely. They do it in all girls schools too - it's just the current fashion trend - which is why uniform should be policed by parents before they get to school.

SoupDragon · 17/06/2021 17:23

Girls aren't necessarily shortening their skirts

Mine is. She rolls it up at the waist. Completely unenforceable by me from home so I leave it up to the school.

It's not "the current fashion trend" because girls have been doing it for years.

Not in the 80s when I was a teen though (at least not at my school).

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