Is my friend being a cf

[bagpuss90]

I got a text from a friend saying she had decided to take a break from WhatsApp but would still be texting me. Okay no problem with that - except she sends me several pictures messages a day- pics of her dogs , jokes etc. I get charged for picture messages sent via text. Over the last few days it’s cost me around 3 quid a day. I’ve politely pointed this out . But the response I’ve got is that we don’t ever really meet up now due to the distance and it’s not much to invest in a friendship . I’ve not had a great year financially - trying to plan for semi retirement which has now been delayed. At this rate it’ll be costing about 100 quid a month , which to my mind is a total waste of much needed cash. She does have a history of depression. The last thing I want to do is upset her and she is very sensitive . I don’t want to block her. I’m happy to text and chat - but bloody hell

@MiddleParking

I would block her for sending me daily pictures of her dogs, charge or no charge.

This

There should be something in your phone's settings to stop this, OP. Probably in the settings for your text app. What phone do you have?

I'd block her for sending pics of her dog even if it was free 😂 who the fuck wants pictures of others people's dogs

She sounds like hard work

I used to get charged when I was on PAYG. Block her.

You can disable your mms settings or delete them.

Look, this is a total boundaries issue - you don't have any.

Tell her a real friend would not want to cause financial distress to you, and that if she continues to send pictures, you will block her. This is her choice, so if she then sends a picture, block her.

Funny how she's only sensitive when it comes to her own feleings, and is happy to ride roughshod over yours.

Given her response I’d reply

“It’s not about the personal messages, I’m always happy to hear from you. It’s the pics/videos etc which I am being charged for and which to be honest, aren’t worth paying for. I’m much more interested in just hearing from you from time to time and what’s going on in your life. I genuinely can’t afford to pay to receive them because at the rate of charges so far, it could be up to £100/month.”

If she doesn’t get that she’s a crap friend, in it for herself, so block.

Tell her, then block her.

Are you in the US, OP? It's common to be charged to RECEIVE messages in the US.

I have a really low spend cap on (then) 11yo DD's phone, and she blazed through it one morning with image messages and we had a chat about data/MMS/WhatsApp. If she can understand it, I'm sure your cf friend can.

support.sasktel.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/16890/~/understanding-why-a-text-message-may-be-charged-as-a-picture-message

Its an American link but still explains about messages being turned into pictures and such

As everyone else has said, why are you being charged? Just tell her that you can only afford to communicate via WhatsApp and leave it at that. She clearly wants to stay in touch so if she’s a good friend then she’ll take the hint.

Just block her. Telling you it’s not much to invest in a friendship! Rude cheeky fucker.

You’re throwing money down the drain. Go and get a smartphone contract for £7 a month from Tesco or GiffGaff

That's fine for many, but I buy 2 or 3 £10 top-up vouchers a year, so my mobile costs me £20 - £30 annually. If I went over to this "cheap" contract, the cost of having a mobile phone would more than double for me. I don't want to pay almost £100 a year for the tiny number of times I use a mobile.

I doubt Ofcom would allow recipients to be charged.

Tell her you're taking a break from texting😂 And block the idiot.

@Time40

You’re throwing money down the drain. Go and get a smartphone contract for £7 a month from Tesco or GiffGaff

That's fine for many, but I buy 2 or 3 £10 top-up vouchers a year, so my mobile costs me £20 - £30 annually. If I went over to this "cheap" contract, the cost of having a mobile phone would more than double for me. I don't want to pay almost £100 a year for the tiny number of times I use a mobile.

My Sky Mobile contract costs me £3 pm. Unlimited calls and texts.

It does seem odd that you are being charged to receive her picture messages.

ffs OP doesn't need to change anything if she doesn't want to.

Her "friend" needs to stop doing something annoying she has already asked her to stop doing

I'm pretty sure I used to be charged for receiving picture messages, although I can't quite remember seen as everyone has been using WhatsApp for years!

Could it be to do with the new privacy rules/data sharing with WhatsApp? I knew a few people who have left because of that. Maybe she could use (I think it's called...) Telegram or email instead?

Anyway YANBU

Friendships are maintained by meeting and/or talking to each other not through dog photos and memes which are for FB.

I'd suggest you contact her and either arrange a monthly meet up or -depending on distance -phone call.

TBH even if the dog pics were free I'd find that pretty annoying tbh as a constant stream of texts.

@Mrgrinch

People are missing the point. Yes OP needs to sort out her phone plan because she shouldn't be getting charges for receiving images, but the problem is that the friend has continued to send them knowing she is running up OP's bill.

Exactly this. I would be mortified if my friend said that my dog photos etc were costing money. And to be honest the photos are probably not that interesting for the op anyway. It's almost a bit narcissistic in a way. The friend, and I use that term loosely, doesn't care that it is costing op money, is dictating how they communicate and is being manipulative saying the op should sick it up to maintain the friendship. Who on earth does she think she is? She is self absorbed arse

*Suck it up

If you rely by swiping the photo it counts as a picture message back. If you reply by just typing a new message then you shouldn’t be charged to receive a picture message

@crikeycrumbsblimey

ffs OP doesn't need to change anything if she doesn't want to.

Her "friend" needs to stop doing something annoying she has already asked her to stop doing

Not quite, no. In the same way she doesn't want her friend to send pictures, her friend can continue to do so. You can't stop someone sending you content.

What you can do is block that person if you are unhappy with it continuing.

But that said, OP does need to check her provided if she's being charged to receive pictures. Imagine if everyone in her phonebook on a whim decided to send a picture? OP would need to start blocking everyone.

@AnAwesomePossum but literally nobody does send photos via text anymore, that's what makes it such a weird thing for the friend to be doing.

She could email, use facebook messenger. Just say 'I can't afford £1200 a year' if that is really a charge you are paying, and that you'd rather spend that money on taking her out for a nice lunch.

£100 is £1200 per year.

You need to block her! I'm sorry, you could have so many more great experiences with your friend if you both had £2500 to spend together on a holiday or something at the end of the year! Maybe make this justification before you pull the plug on her MMS.