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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my friend being a cf

117 replies

bagpuss90 · 17/06/2021 09:49

I got a text from a friend saying she had decided to take a break from WhatsApp but would still be texting me. Okay no problem with that - except she sends me several pictures messages a day- pics of her dogs , jokes etc. I get charged for picture messages sent via text. Over the last few days it’s cost me around 3 quid a day. I’ve politely pointed this out . But the response I’ve got is that we don’t ever really meet up now due to the distance and it’s not much to invest in a friendship . I’ve not had a great year financially - trying to plan for semi retirement which has now been delayed. At this rate it’ll be costing about 100 quid a month , which to my mind is a total waste of much needed cash. She does have a history of depression. The last thing I want to do is upset her and she is very sensitive . I don’t want to block her. I’m happy to text and chat - but bloody hell

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 17/06/2021 10:08

Are you with EE? Someone asked a similar question on a different forum here.

Janaih · 17/06/2021 10:08

Ask her to email you instead.

GoldenBlue · 17/06/2021 10:08

I voted YABU because the recipient isn't charged for receiving picture messages unless you have one really really weird phone contract.

In all contracts I've ever seen only the sender is charged to send images

Ladywinesalot · 17/06/2021 10:10

She doesn’t seem to understand.
If she continues l, block her.

It’s not your fault she refuses to care about you

Iluvfriends · 17/06/2021 10:12

Of course she's being cf if you've asked her to stop and cited the reason. She should have stopped attaching the photos and just text. She's not caring she's costing you money, that's not a friend.

BelleClapper · 17/06/2021 10:13

Do you have some sort of brick phone with no data plan?

You’re throwing money down the drain. Go and get a smartphone contract for £7 a month from Tesco or GiffGaff.

bloodyhell19 · 17/06/2021 10:17

I haven't heard of being charged to download MMS in about 15 years OP. If that's the case, you need to update your phone and plan with your provider because you shouldn't be paying to download that anymore.

ElderMillennial · 17/06/2021 10:18

I also wondered why you are being charged as I haven't heard of that but then maybe your friend hasn't either and doesn't realise you are being charged?

It does seem silly to pay to send picture messages as texts when it is free on whatsapp.

Janaih · 17/06/2021 10:20

Not everyone has a phone contract. Some are payg.

CaptainBarbossa · 17/06/2021 10:23

If she doesn't want to send via social media and it's costing money via MMS then she could always send them by email

Mrgrinch · 17/06/2021 10:24

She sounds like hard work to be honest.

Maybe you ought to 'take a break' from her. I can't imagine continuing to spend my so called friend's money by texting pictures even after being told not to. Selfish cow.

TheRebelle · 17/06/2021 10:25

Why on earth is she coming off WhatsApp but still using texts, surely WhatsApp is just free texts? She sounds controlling and selfish, I’d probably dump her if she’s willing to cost you £100 a month through sheer bloodymindedness!

exybusiness · 17/06/2021 10:27

@wildeverose

She's not done anything wrong, you need to sort your phone out. Do you both have iPhones?
Of course she has! The op has told her it's costing her a lot of money and she basically gives no shits. Fine until she realised the cost but to carry on now is fucking rude. I'd block her until she stops and tell her why.
Original poster
bagpuss90 · 17/06/2021 10:27

I’m going to double check

OP posts:
ShouldersBackChestOutChinUp · 17/06/2021 10:28

Don't allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed like this. Block her.

She doesn't get to decide how you spend your money!

PandasCatsWolves · 17/06/2021 10:28

I dislike WhatsApp and regularly take breaks. While you can turn off notifications and read receipts. You can still be seen online to start the issue of someone "being online but not arsed to read my message" rubbish that I see on MN all the time.

She's taking the mick though. Why would anyone want their friend to incur costs in this way.

khakiandcoral · 17/06/2021 10:34

@EarringsandLipstick

Oh for goodness sake! Of course you shouldn't be charged. So you sort that out with your provider.

Your friend can send you whatever she wants. You don't have to engage or respond.

She's not being a CF.

of course she IS a CF! Confused

After being told by the OP, replying that it’s not much to invest in a friendship is beyond rude and entitled.

Do block her. Tell her you blocked your texts Grin
She is free to email, Whatsapp or other alternatives. There's a thing called the postal service, works too.

FunMcCool · 17/06/2021 10:37

You get charged for receiving messages? This in any 2003

CatFaceCats · 17/06/2021 10:39

Sounds like you’re on a really old deal. I agree with changing to giffgaff or something PAYG. Both my kids have their sims and get a set amount of data per month.

FunMcCool · 17/06/2021 10:42

This isn’t*

Soverymuchfruit · 17/06/2021 10:43

Another vote for asking her to email them.

Mrgrinch · 17/06/2021 10:46

People are missing the point. Yes OP needs to sort out her phone plan because she shouldn't be getting charges for receiving images, but the problem is that the friend has continued to send them knowing she is running up OP's bill.

Ourlady · 17/06/2021 10:49

I used to be charges for opening text picture messages,that's with virgin mobile. Got a better deal with them and now don't get charged. It's still very much a thing even these days
It's ridiculous her coming off watsapp when its totally free over her wifi, maybe she has got rid of her home broadband? What sensible reason could there be otherwise.
I would text her and say you will have to block her if she insists on sending them.

VettiyaIruken · 17/06/2021 10:55

Well, if she thinks it's not much to invest in a friendship then she'll have no problem being the one investing it. Send her your bank details.

I'm speaking tongue in cheek obviously but it never ceases to amaze me how many people feel entitled to spend the money of others.

TinyTear · 17/06/2021 10:55

Tell her to email or try Discord...

If she won't use whatsapp or messenger maybe she has a thing against Facebook owned things (like my DH but at least he doesn't send pictures)